This was more like a conversation than an interview, but I'm told that most of my conversations have the appearance of an interview because of my bluntness.
Yumiko was my friend. I met her through an Ohtawara city English class I donate my services to for ¥10,000 ($100) for a three-hour class. She has since moved away from Ohtawara, but she and I did get together for a friendly meeting or two.
She's 26-years old, about 5'-3", with jet black hair that hangs in shiny curtains past her shoulder blades and possesses alabaster skin that would make all of the doll makers cry in shame. She's pretty, though perhaps not the head-turning type. What catches your attention are the eyes that sparkle with glee. Her lips tell a different story, though.
Yumiko has ben married for two years, and is pregnant. She lives in a company housing project apartment and tends the daily running of the household. I rode my bicycle out 30 minutes to visit her.
"I've been out to my old hometown of Kawaguchi to buy some clothes for my baby. They are very small. Almost all of them are white or yellow," she says in perfect, but hesitant English. When I asked why she only purchased items in those two colours, she smiled at me as though I was her baby and patiently explained: "I don't want to know that our baby is a boy or girl. But my doctor knows. I want the surprise."
When she and her husband went to visit her family, she said grimly that "We have grown about two kilograms." She then puffed out her cheeks and made a tiny piggie sound. She then asked me if I liked sumo. When I answered in the positive, she said, "Good. because I am now big enough to join. Please cheer for me." How could I not?
Then it happened. I spoiled the moment by asking what she does during the day. She let out a big breath of air and shrunk a little. The smile slowly became invisible. "I don't like to wake up early in the morning in winter. But I wake up at 6:40AM (except on Saturday and Sunday). I prepare a sandwich for my husband that he eats. Then we have a sandwich, a cup of milk and fruit every morning."
"You and your husband?" I asked confused.
"No. He quickly eats his sandwich and leaves home at 7:10AM," she continued after pouring me a cup of o-cha (green tea). "It takes him three minutes to walk to his company. Then I sleep again. I'm a bad wife!! I wake up again at 10AM and wash and clean our rooms..."
"A bad wife? A bad wife?!" I shiver incredulously. "You do all of the housework, make him his breakfast AND you're seven months pregnant!"
She seems shocked by my 'western' ravings - and well she should be - this is the way it has always been in Japan. She agrees that it is not a fair world for the women of Japan, but she is confused that I would agree with her, what with being a man and all.
"I usually have lunch alone," she continued. "But sometimes with my friend." I notice the emphasis on the singular. "Do you have a school lunch, An-do-ryu? When I was in elementary school and junior high school, I always was looking forward to my school lunch.
"My friend is a Christian and an English teacher. She teaches me about the Bible once a week. I go to the public hall to study English twice a month and to learn patchwork once a month. I'm stitching a bag of patchwork - it's my hobby besides looking after my husband."
Did I detect some bitterness? Hmmm.
"I listen to classical and jazz music, read books and watch TV in my free time. My husband used to come home at 10PM all of last year - he works hard, but his pay is very low. He would have a bath and dinner and go to sleep almost immediately. I suppose he was very tired, so we didn't have enough time to talk with each other. I often felt sad and felt like I was a housemaid."
I want to say something, but don't for fear of depressing her even more. Perhaps sensing my discomfort, she added: "It's a wonder I am now pregnant."
Ah the twinkle is back! ... fading?... "But he comes home at 8:30PM this year because his boss has changed. So we have time to talk with each other."
She's smiling again, but I can still see the sadness lingering. There didn't seem to be much use in me prying into her life further, after all I have a pretty good understanding of where she is at right now. She's merely a lonely, pregnant housewife who would like to spend more time with someone - anyone, even a gaijin (foreigner) - but mostly her husband.
Damn this country. It's not her husband's fault, it's just the way things are in Japan.
Somewhere I have to make time to talk with my wife more,
Andrew Joseph
PS: Today's title is by The Guess Who. You can listen to it here: 20/20
Photo above is from a New Year's Eve card Yumiko gave me.
Second photo shows off the reverse of that card - you'll notice that there are some numbers along the bottom - it's for a New Year's Day lottery. Since I never saw the results, I'm unsure if I ever won - or what you did win if your numbers came up. Matthew?
