Despite such a tiny thing, a scratch on the cornea is actually quite painful - it feels like there is grit under the eyelid - and every time one blinks - pain.
So... in Japan, I did what any one would do... I told my bosses at the Ohtawara Board of Education (OBOE) Hanazaki-san and Kanemaru-san about it six days later after they saw me wincing as I tried to wink at a pretty office worker.
They took me to the Ohtawara hospital. The doctor came out to see me with a lit cigarette dangling from his lower lip. He pulled the lower lid down, examined my eye (no gloves!) and told Kanemaru-san that I had a scratch on my cornea... of course it took poor Kanemaru-san about three minutes of deft dictionary work to relate that information to me--he would get quicker over the years, though.
The solution? Some strange purple powder given to me in a wax paper package and to tell me to rest my eye... that is, no contact lens wearing.
Crap! Thanks to a 20:800 vision, my glasses are as thick as my baby finger, and those are already the slim version of lenses... the distortion on them can hypnotize anyone who looks into my eyes. Hmmm... I think that could come in handy one day.
Every time I was sick in Japan, I was given opaque wax packets of some handy-dandy purple powder. I have no idea what it was, but apparently it's a panacea (cure-all) for everything! Pooping too much? Have some purple powder. Scratched cornea? Purple powder. Bruised ribs after a bike accident or two? Purple powder.
You can read about another hospital visit and the infamous purple powder HERE.
Anyhow... After one day of wearing my distortion hypno-glasses to school, where even the students who liked me were afraid, I decided to wear a single contact lens in the good eye and construct an eye patch for the other.
In fact, the home economics teacher at Ohtawara Junior High School cut up a piece of leather (probably from her own leather coat - she was so generous! I probably should have slept with her to properly thank her), and then sewed on a stretchy hair band I happened to have with me...
I always cared an extra length of stretch hairband rope in case my hairband broke... at home in my apartment, I had rolls of black, red, blue and purple, figuring one of those colours would perfectly match whatever clothing I was wearing that day. Yes... I was probably a metro-sexual before that term became known.
Obviously, the hairband was for my ponytail. By the way... the OBOE thought my hair look kakkoii (cool - it's pronounced kewl, though the Japanese might say "cah-coo-ee"). However, some other AETs were told by their respective offices: "Jim-san... your hair is getting long - perhaps it is time for a haircut."
Me? I was like Ferris Bueller. I could do no wrong with the OBOE.
So... I had to wear an eye-patch for two weeks... but here's the thing... my students thought I looked cool with the eyeptach. Some of the Japanese ladies at the 4-Carat bar where I hung out on the weekend in Ohtawara thought I looked cool. And, perhaps most importantly, I did too.
Ego... thy name is An-do-ryu. Anyhow... the two weeks passed, and I kept the eye-patch on - at least in public. In fact... I wore it for about five weeks longer than I needed to. It was hot and it was sweaty... but remember, it's better to look good than to feel good.
Somewhere squinting,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is by Jackson Browne... see HERE for a video.
PS - As luck would have it, I scratched by cornea again about a year later. One word from a female AET I liked had me convinced that I didn't look cool enough for her to sleep with me... but once that eyepatch came off, I really caught her eye.
PPS: The photo above is a pirate mug (with lid) I purchased at Tokyo Disneyland when I was with Shinobu... whose tease was rated "Arrrrrrr." Read that one, me MATEY.
