Welcome back to the continuing voyages of one idiotic man's stay in Japan many, many years ago. Although no longer living there, he has fond, alcohol-fueled 'memories' of people, places and things that have to do with something or another.
Most of the stories are true. All are based on fact. I sometimes discover old stories and facts that I think are interesting and I gladly share them with you.
Take for example the number-one selling battery in Japan, NoPoPo (Non-Pollution Power). Actually, in this case being number one and doing number one is the difference. You see, the NoPoPo aqua batteries available in AA and AAA sizes are powered by pee. Urine trouble if you don't believe I'm telling you the truth.
A few years ago, a scientist must have taken up a drunken bet after accidentally dropping his music player in a washroom urinal and having his colleague joke about how his iPad (now dubbed iPeeD) is now in piss-poor shape.
Of course, that last paragraph is pure conjecture on my part, but it doesn't seem all that far-fetched to me.
The original concept for the battery involved soaking a piece of paper (strangely enough, not toilet paper) in a warm solution of copper chloride (chemical formula = ClCu2), and placing it between thin strips of copper (Cu) and magnesium (Mg). After laminating this between (pissed) two sheets (to the wind) of clear plastic, it was found that when urine (Pp) was added to the paper through a narrow slash in the plastic that a chemical reaction was produced creating electricity. It's alive!
If you really want to wrap your head around the science, urine (Pp) contains electrically charged ions that make the chemical reaction work.
The batteries life (at least for the AA's) is up to 500 milliamps-hour of life. I have no friggin' idea what that means. I imagine it means you get power for an hour or so (please don't quote me on THAT!), but that it will retain its shelf life for 10 years (fantastic!), and it can be recharged a minimum of three times up to five times before the well runs dry.
Apparently semen also works, but just between you and me and the tissue paper, I'd only be able to run the battery two or three times a day max. Don't get old boys and girls.
I wasn't kidding about the semen. Other fluids in the body that will get the motor running include blood and tears, but no mention of sweat.
Now before everyone goes streaming out to their local hardware store (or wherever you buy your urine (Pp), please note that the NoPoPo batteries are only available in Japan.
Now, I'm into a lot of weird stuff (I think blogging counts), but peeing on my batteries? Yeah, let me do that and then hand them back to my wife to put into one of her plethora of battery-operated toys. That'll go over well. Did I say wife? I meant son.
And how do you pee on it? Does the type of pee matter? Coke-fueled? Sake-fueled? Just over the top of the battery? - won't my fingers get wet? Or is there a hole at the end I have to try and hit with my stream? As a guy, we usually have no idea where the heck the urine (Pp) stream is going - except perhaps on the floor. Maybe I should just pee on the floor and roll the battery on it.
Seriously, these batteries could be a life saver. Stranded somewhere - knowing that your batteries have a 10-year shelf-life, and that you can re-charge them a few times could be key to one's survival.
While I don't see the need for it around the house, it would be fun to have a set of batteries and pee all over them (the batteries, not the house) just to see if it'll really work.
Somewhere batteries are not included,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is brought to you by Blood, Sweat & Tears, who probably had more band members throughout the years than actual songs produced. Still, SPINNING WHEEL is a brilliant song. It's about not being preoccupied with your problems and know that they will always work out in the end. The merry-ground lyrics also suggest to let the ride go on as it will eventually stop. Then there's the moral ambiguity of the straight and narrow highway - and figuring out which way you are headed. Or, it was just one big freaking acid trip while visiting a local fair.
Pee S: the group name was the reason for choosing this blog title as it is part of what makes the battery go. As well, the song contains a nice life lesson should anyone out there feel they need one from a blog writer.
Pee-Pee S: Next blog to appear on January 31, and then with further increased frequency. I gotta go now.
