Hello... I just wanted to say thank you to all my loyal readers. We had 3,174 visits to this site in the month of March - the highest yet by 1,000 plus. I guess all I needed were a few disasters to happen. With that in mind, read on...
I hope you'll excuse the expletive in the title, but I call'em like I see'em. I'll explain the title in a minute.
It's Monday, June 3, 1991. I'm back in Ohtawara-shi after a few days of fun in the sun (anger and depression in the rain) of Kobe-shi, where I told my girlfriend Ashley I've had enough and want to end our relationship.
Trust me... despite mild language in these blogs, my knowledge and usage of cuss-words could embarrass a sailor and a Catholic school girl combined (which would probably be against the law) - but I probably worded the break-up in a more expletive-filled tirade.
Still, the next day or two after breaking up, she and I spend a lot of time together and seem to get along fine, which leaves me wondering if she realizes we broke up even though I'm pretty sure I know she knows.
Today I get to visit Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Junior High School), one of the seven middle schools I teach at four days a week in this relatively rural city oh Ohtawara.
There's a new English teacher at this school - where the students are all very sweet - mostly farmer's kids I believe). The teacher's is Mrs. Yamamoto, who's nice, speaks well and has no real teaching plan. I love it.
We play games and essentially allow the students have a good time in English class. But... I have no idea what her given name is.
However, despite the good time in class, my mind is often elsewhere. I'm not feeling right and am alone (girlfriend-wise) for the first time in Japan.
I have to admit I'm actually scared now.
But I still think Ashley doesn't understand that I broke up with her - so I think I'm going to have to re-affirm it with her. But, if she really doesn't want us to be apart as a couple, maybe I should just suggest we take a couple of weeks off from each other? What do you think?
"NO! NO!" I hear you readers scream. But, despite the bravado, I am afraid of not having a girlfriend, as it took me nearly 26 years to find a woman who would sleep with me.... so why would I want to lose any woman as gullible as that?
Coincidentally, I seem to have forgotten about all of the other women I have slept with since hitting Japan... I think I'm up to four other women... and these occurred in the instances when Ashley broke up with me the numerous times since - I think October of 1990 was the first big one.Each break-up only lasted a day or two... and in each instance, these women sought me out.
Why did I not remember that? I wrote everything down in a friggin' diary, which is how I'm able to write stuff for you know 20 years later. I must have been whipped. Not really, but even some is better than none.
I decide that as soon as I get home from work/school, I'll call Ashley and tell her we need a couple of weeks apart - to see if we need to continue with our relationship. That way more women can enjoy my company.
Man, I have a big... ego.
When I get home, I have an 'uh-oh' moment as I notice her bicycle parked in the lot. She's not supposed to be here. Should I have sent her a memo?
It's raining. Of course. Land of the rising sun, my butt!
I go up to the apartment on the third floor, enter and see no shoes in the hall. In Japan, it's proper manners to take your shoes off when entering someone's home, and to wear ugly floppy slippers that will fit no one.
I remove my coat and shoes and enter my living room... she's curled up on my sofa, feet up and wearing her wet shoes, sitting in the dark with the drapes closed. I keep the drapes closed usually so as not to overheat my apartment from the sun (but it's always raining, so I have no idea why I close the drapes).
I say "Hi!" and lean over to kiss her, but she ducks her head down so I get nothing but limp, wet brown hair in my open mouth.
I ask her how she's doing.
She says "Fine."
Guys... when a woman uses the word 'fine' to describe an emotion... you are screwed. It's: "fxxked-up, insecure, neurotic and emotional" - f.i.n.e. Hence the title of the blog entry.
Since she's being non-communicative, I tell her I'm going to bring my laundry in from outside - as I think the constant rain may have left my clothes a tad wet. That gets her attention, and she blurts out that we need to have a talk. A serious one.
Ooooh. I'm scared, I think in a very arrogant manner.
In a sarcastic voice I say: "Why? Do you want to break-up?"
"Yes!", she screams.
It's pretty much a blur from then on... but hindsight being 20/20, I did break up with her a few days ago in Kobe, didn't I? So why is she breaking up with me now? Did me accompanying her to Mayuko's place mean we were back? There was no intimacy at all!
F.I.N.E.
My telephone rings and hangs up in four bells. It must be Matthew. Thanks... I needed a notice that the first round of this fight was over.
Second Round: She says she's been thinking about it for a long time.
Ha. Me, too, but I don't say that.
She says she's not in love with me anymore.
Owtch. But didn't I break up with her... ahhh, you know what I mean... How can someone break up with you if you have already broken up with them?
She's already brought back my borrowed video tapes and spare key to my apartment, and my blue jeans. Why the heck would I leave a pair of jeans at her place? Her place isn't that comfortable... it's why she spends the nights at my place. Those are my jeans, but there's no way in heck I'd leave a pair of pants at her place. I mean, what would I have worn on my bike ride home?!
She must have borrowed a pair of mine... but unfortunately, that's one mystery I'll never get resolved.
Anyhow, forgetting that I had already broken up with her, I tell her about my separation plan.... desperation breeds tiny monsters, folks. I tell her I'm still in love with her. (Where the hell did that come from?)
She says she now only thinks of me as a friend.
I say I think she was only my friend because I loved her. Now that love is only a one-way street, do I still need her as a friend?
In response, she asks if I am going to call Matthew back.
Yes, I say... as soon as you leave.
To hit that point home, I pick up the phone and begin dialing.
I turn my back as she slowly leaves my place. The front door opens and is closed gently... meaning she had to slow it down as the door likes to slam itself shut.
We don't look at each other.
It's complete.
It's over.
Matthew isn't picking up the damn phone. Maybe he didn't call - this was in the years before call display.
At night school, where I make a few extra bucks teaching adults (Matthew does the same, teaching a more advanced class), I have to say good-bye to a real nice lady student who's moving to Ibaraki-ken (province of Ibaraki). She wants me to write and phone her. I will. And hope her husband doesn't mind.
I'm single.
After school, I go for a coffee with her. You can read more about that woman HERE. In the car ride over to the coffee shop, she tells me that her nickname is Rain Woman because it rains whenever she travels. Bizarre. Me, too. I tell her people have been calling me Rain Man (Ame Otoko) ever since I arrived in Japan.
It gets a giggle, a hand squeeze and a peck on the cheek - nothing sexual.
Oh yeah... Naoko, a Japanese lady friend and I are invited to dinner by two of my oldest students, who supposedly own a really famous restaurant here in Ohtawara.
Famous restaurant? I've never heard of it - but the offer of free food get's my attention. I'm in!
I go home and sit in my darkened apartment in stunned silence as lightning flashes and thunder rumbles over head in a symphony of cacophony.
I'm tired, but don't go to bed until 1AM.
But, for the second night in a row, I don't fall asleep.
Somewhere not snoring,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by Aerosmith: Listen to it HERE.
PS: She only thinks of me as a friend? Why would I need a friend like that? I have plenty of interesting friends I haven't met yet who will have sex with me. That's what I tell myself, believe it or not. Despite my fears of being alone, I seem to have a conflict of emotions as I have a lot of self-confidence. Or am I just going crazy? No... I'm f.i.n.e.
PS: There's another blog coming in eight (8) hours time that is unrelated to this ongoing descent into self-induced (?) madness. It's about Earthquakes and Volcanoes! Be here or don't learn anything new today!
I hope you'll excuse the expletive in the title, but I call'em like I see'em. I'll explain the title in a minute.
It's Monday, June 3, 1991. I'm back in Ohtawara-shi after a few days of fun in the sun (anger and depression in the rain) of Kobe-shi, where I told my girlfriend Ashley I've had enough and want to end our relationship.
Trust me... despite mild language in these blogs, my knowledge and usage of cuss-words could embarrass a sailor and a Catholic school girl combined (which would probably be against the law) - but I probably worded the break-up in a more expletive-filled tirade.
Still, the next day or two after breaking up, she and I spend a lot of time together and seem to get along fine, which leaves me wondering if she realizes we broke up even though I'm pretty sure I know she knows.
Today I get to visit Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Junior High School), one of the seven middle schools I teach at four days a week in this relatively rural city oh Ohtawara.
There's a new English teacher at this school - where the students are all very sweet - mostly farmer's kids I believe). The teacher's is Mrs. Yamamoto, who's nice, speaks well and has no real teaching plan. I love it.
We play games and essentially allow the students have a good time in English class. But... I have no idea what her given name is.
However, despite the good time in class, my mind is often elsewhere. I'm not feeling right and am alone (girlfriend-wise) for the first time in Japan.
I have to admit I'm actually scared now.
But I still think Ashley doesn't understand that I broke up with her - so I think I'm going to have to re-affirm it with her. But, if she really doesn't want us to be apart as a couple, maybe I should just suggest we take a couple of weeks off from each other? What do you think?
"NO! NO!" I hear you readers scream. But, despite the bravado, I am afraid of not having a girlfriend, as it took me nearly 26 years to find a woman who would sleep with me.... so why would I want to lose any woman as gullible as that?
Coincidentally, I seem to have forgotten about all of the other women I have slept with since hitting Japan... I think I'm up to four other women... and these occurred in the instances when Ashley broke up with me the numerous times since - I think October of 1990 was the first big one.Each break-up only lasted a day or two... and in each instance, these women sought me out.
Why did I not remember that? I wrote everything down in a friggin' diary, which is how I'm able to write stuff for you know 20 years later. I must have been whipped. Not really, but even some is better than none.
I decide that as soon as I get home from work/school, I'll call Ashley and tell her we need a couple of weeks apart - to see if we need to continue with our relationship. That way more women can enjoy my company.
Man, I have a big... ego.
When I get home, I have an 'uh-oh' moment as I notice her bicycle parked in the lot. She's not supposed to be here. Should I have sent her a memo?
It's raining. Of course. Land of the rising sun, my butt!
I go up to the apartment on the third floor, enter and see no shoes in the hall. In Japan, it's proper manners to take your shoes off when entering someone's home, and to wear ugly floppy slippers that will fit no one.
I remove my coat and shoes and enter my living room... she's curled up on my sofa, feet up and wearing her wet shoes, sitting in the dark with the drapes closed. I keep the drapes closed usually so as not to overheat my apartment from the sun (but it's always raining, so I have no idea why I close the drapes).
I say "Hi!" and lean over to kiss her, but she ducks her head down so I get nothing but limp, wet brown hair in my open mouth.
I ask her how she's doing.
She says "Fine."
Guys... when a woman uses the word 'fine' to describe an emotion... you are screwed. It's: "fxxked-up, insecure, neurotic and emotional" - f.i.n.e. Hence the title of the blog entry.
Since she's being non-communicative, I tell her I'm going to bring my laundry in from outside - as I think the constant rain may have left my clothes a tad wet. That gets her attention, and she blurts out that we need to have a talk. A serious one.
Ooooh. I'm scared, I think in a very arrogant manner.
In a sarcastic voice I say: "Why? Do you want to break-up?"
"Yes!", she screams.
It's pretty much a blur from then on... but hindsight being 20/20, I did break up with her a few days ago in Kobe, didn't I? So why is she breaking up with me now? Did me accompanying her to Mayuko's place mean we were back? There was no intimacy at all!
F.I.N.E.
My telephone rings and hangs up in four bells. It must be Matthew. Thanks... I needed a notice that the first round of this fight was over.
Second Round: She says she's been thinking about it for a long time.
Ha. Me, too, but I don't say that.
She says she's not in love with me anymore.
Owtch. But didn't I break up with her... ahhh, you know what I mean... How can someone break up with you if you have already broken up with them?
She's already brought back my borrowed video tapes and spare key to my apartment, and my blue jeans. Why the heck would I leave a pair of jeans at her place? Her place isn't that comfortable... it's why she spends the nights at my place. Those are my jeans, but there's no way in heck I'd leave a pair of pants at her place. I mean, what would I have worn on my bike ride home?!
She must have borrowed a pair of mine... but unfortunately, that's one mystery I'll never get resolved.
Anyhow, forgetting that I had already broken up with her, I tell her about my separation plan.... desperation breeds tiny monsters, folks. I tell her I'm still in love with her. (Where the hell did that come from?)
She says she now only thinks of me as a friend.
I say I think she was only my friend because I loved her. Now that love is only a one-way street, do I still need her as a friend?
In response, she asks if I am going to call Matthew back.
Yes, I say... as soon as you leave.
To hit that point home, I pick up the phone and begin dialing.
I turn my back as she slowly leaves my place. The front door opens and is closed gently... meaning she had to slow it down as the door likes to slam itself shut.
We don't look at each other.
It's complete.
It's over.
Matthew isn't picking up the damn phone. Maybe he didn't call - this was in the years before call display.
At night school, where I make a few extra bucks teaching adults (Matthew does the same, teaching a more advanced class), I have to say good-bye to a real nice lady student who's moving to Ibaraki-ken (province of Ibaraki). She wants me to write and phone her. I will. And hope her husband doesn't mind.
I'm single.
After school, I go for a coffee with her. You can read more about that woman HERE. In the car ride over to the coffee shop, she tells me that her nickname is Rain Woman because it rains whenever she travels. Bizarre. Me, too. I tell her people have been calling me Rain Man (Ame Otoko) ever since I arrived in Japan.
It gets a giggle, a hand squeeze and a peck on the cheek - nothing sexual.
Oh yeah... Naoko, a Japanese lady friend and I are invited to dinner by two of my oldest students, who supposedly own a really famous restaurant here in Ohtawara.
Famous restaurant? I've never heard of it - but the offer of free food get's my attention. I'm in!
I go home and sit in my darkened apartment in stunned silence as lightning flashes and thunder rumbles over head in a symphony of cacophony.
I'm tired, but don't go to bed until 1AM.
But, for the second night in a row, I don't fall asleep.
Somewhere not snoring,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by Aerosmith: Listen to it HERE.
PS: She only thinks of me as a friend? Why would I need a friend like that? I have plenty of interesting friends I haven't met yet who will have sex with me. That's what I tell myself, believe it or not. Despite my fears of being alone, I seem to have a conflict of emotions as I have a lot of self-confidence. Or am I just going crazy? No... I'm f.i.n.e.
PS: There's another blog coming in eight (8) hours time that is unrelated to this ongoing descent into self-induced (?) madness. It's about Earthquakes and Volcanoes! Be here or don't learn anything new today!