Today is Canada's birth – Monday, July 1,1991 - its 124th, if you are keeping count.
I'm in Oyama-shi (city of Oyama),Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), Japan.
I've been here for 11 months, andrecently signed up for a second year as an assistant English teacher (AET) onthe Japan Exchange & Teaching (JET) Programme.
This was never my dream job nor my dreamcountry to visit. Like so many things I've done in the past, I'm here because Iwas trying to impress a woman. To get laid.
I failed. Not only did I get the job andhave to leave my home in Toronto, Canada, but I didn't get any sex - though I did develop a powerfulhandshake and a Popeye-like forearm.
But that all changed when I got to Japan.I've been making out pretty well for a guy who... well.. I've doing okay. I'vebeen meeting lots of people, having great adventures and having sex.
My most recent conquest was Junko... avery attractive university student who visited one of the seven junior highschools I teach at for the week as part of an internship. We hit it offspectacularly but we knew we would only have five days together at the mostowing to the fact she would have to go back to school in Utsunomiya-shi tocomplete her studies.
Instead, she stalked me. Followed me toTokyo Disneyland and when confronted she told me she was quite willing to quiteschool for me and move to Canada to be my wife and have my kids. Maybe I shouldhave taken her up on that. Instead, I told her to leave me alone and had topretend to like men (and women) to get her to leave me alone. Apparently shedid not want to share me with another man, though other women were okay. Shewas perfect! Except for the fact that I think she may have been a tad nuts.
Yesterday (a week later) here inOyama-shi, I spotted her hiding from me in a restaurant. How the heck shefollowed me – or even how long had she been following me – I have no idea. Shehad also (it seems) been telephoning me and not talking – perhaps just to hearmy voice. It’s very flattering – but nuts.
At least I’m aware now that I’m beingfollowed – but I don’t tell MariAnn or Matthew who are with me here in Oyama-shi(MariAnn’s hometown).
We’re here to visit the Canadian Embassy fora Canada birthday party. Matthew is an American and as such – we couldn’t gethim in. I have no idea how MariAnn got us invited to this thing – but I’mgrateful.
I will sleep with her as a form ofthanks.
That’s a joke.
I’d sleep with her even if she didn’t getme into this party. That’s just the type of guy I have become. A real horn dog.But... she would never sleep with me. What’s wrong with her?
We’re up at 7AM. Gael left last night, sothe three of us head down to Kite Urawa (North Urawa) to obtain our work Visafor the next 365 days. It takes us two hours to get there and we arrive at10:15AM.
Unfortunately, MariAnn and I have toleave at 10:45AM to get down to the Canadian embassy... so we leave Matthewthere.
We have to hurry. We transfer to four trainsand then try to hail a taxi... one finally agrees to take us the 10 metres (30feet) and Y540 ($5.40 Cdn/US) later to the door.
We rush in and are greeted by Canada’s ambassadorto Japan himself: James Hutchings Taylor! How cool was that?
Inside the embassy, I meet Tracy – a gorgeousredhead at met back at the Toronto JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching)Programme orientation. Jennifer Chuo, whom I sat beside on the plane over, Mona– my friend Tim Mould’s girlfriend and a few others I knew were there.Apparently only the female AETs on the JET Programme were invited. I think Ilike this Ambassador Taylor guy!
I meet Ambassador Taylor again and have alittle one-on-one time with him. Chatting, I tell him all about my life inOhtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken where I now live – and he seems quite amused by myfun times! He then asks me what I did back home in Canada.
I answer: “Back home in Toronto, I usedto be a reporter for the Toronto Star.”
He says, “Reporter? ... Excuse me.” Andthe quickly leaves me alone.
Weird but funny.
It was a very nice low-key time. Noglitz, at least as Canada is in a bad way right now with a horrible recessiongoing on.
Just before I’m about to leave,Ambassador Taylor comes up to me and hands me a small package and says: “It wasa pleasure meeting you Mr. Joseph. I hope you continue to have a good time herein Japan” (emphasizing the word ‘time’)..... shakes my hand and leaves. He didn’tdo that to anyone else. Just me.
I’m impressed that he knew who the heck Iwas – or that he remembered.
I don’t have time to open the present –and since no one else seemed to have got one, I keep my gift hidden and tomyself, telling no one about it.
It was 3PM then and MariAnn and I had toleave to go back to Kite Urawa to pick up our Work Visa before the place closedat 4:30PM.
We arrived at the office at 4:32PM. Itwas closed, but when they saw us pounding on the door, they opened up and letthe two of us in. We got lucky that they were so nice and considerate.
Visa in hand, we head back to Omiya-shi whereMariAnn lives and eat dinner at McDonalds.
I say good bye to her and thank her somuch for inviting me to the Canadian Embassy party and then take the shinkansen(bullet train) back home.
I missed one by two minutes and had towait another 52 minutes for the next one.
Arriving back at Nishinasuno-eki (Nishinasuno train station), I ridehome via taxi – and then mid-way change my mind.
I have a night school class to teachtonight, and even though I’ve missed half of it, I go to the TBC building.People are still there and seem very happy to see me. Lots of people.
After class I go home and chat withAshley for 2-1/2 hours – but decide not to tell her about Junko at all.
I then phone home and talk with my mom,dad and brother Ben for a half hour before calling it a night.
Ashley has invited me to dinner at herplace tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it.
Somewhere wondering where Junko is hidingtonight,
Andrew Joseph
Today’s blog title is by The DuBay Band:STANDONGUARD
PS: I suppose you are wondering what itwas that Ambassador Taylor gave me... it was a watch. It hasthe flags of our 10 Provinces and then two Territories (we now have three ofthose – so at least my watch kept excellent Canadian time for awhile!).Thank-you Canada! Thank-you Ambassador Taylor! Thank-you MariAnn!
PPS: Why no photo? The watch is missing! I have every single watch I have ever owned - excluding one lost by Ashley in a river in Thailand (My favourite Donald Duck watch)... but when I went to get the watch for a photo - the damn thing went missing. I'm pretty sure it survived the fire... tell you what - if I find, I'll print a photo of it on July 1. That leaves me with two months to scour the house!
PPS: Why no photo? The watch is missing! I have every single watch I have ever owned - excluding one lost by Ashley in a river in Thailand (My favourite Donald Duck watch)... but when I went to get the watch for a photo - the damn thing went missing. I'm pretty sure it survived the fire... tell you what - if I find, I'll print a photo of it on July 1. That leaves me with two months to scour the house!
