Japan Takes It Up The Ass

... wants you to take it like a man.

In what can only be seen as a desperate act by a desperate company, TEPCO (Tokyo Electric Power Company) is planning to raise it rates between 10- and 15% for three years starting April 2012.

Not content with nearly causing a nuclear meltdown and irradiating half of Japan following the March 11, 2011 earthquake that spawned a massive tsunami that slammed into the Fukushima-ken (Fukushima prefecture) Dai-ichi TEPCO-owned nuclear power plant causing radioactive materials to be strewn into the air, ground and water, TEPCO feels it hasn't done enough to the people of Japan.

Along with the triple whammy mentioned above, three of the six reactors had to be shut down and much of the eastern seaboard of Japan--including Tokyo--were affected by power shortages. Even now, as of September 14, there are still some areas of the country without power, employment and a home thanks to the tsunami, earthquake and nuclear disaster.

And yet, despite the hardships the people of Japan have faced and are facing - some of it due to the failure of TEPCO to adequately protect itself from disaster or to have a proper back-up plan in place, it has decided that in the interest of self-preservation, to add to the hardships of the people of Japan in the future to.

Well done, TEPCO. You have shown your humanitarian side admirably.

Uhhh... that's sarcasm, by the way. I only state that because you (TEPCO) are probably too ignorant to figure that out.

Nasty bastards! You don't kick a person when they are down!

Yes... we understand that you need to make a few yen to try and save your faltering business... but if you can't take the heat in the nuclear kitchen, get yourself out of the hellfire business!

TEPCO says it will try (really try, it promises) to cut charges of about 10% from a 4th year if it is able to eliminate an extra fee on fossil fuel power generation by resuming the reactors at its Kashiwazaki-Kariwa nuclear power plant in Niigata-ken (Niigata prefecture). That's right, we can save you Japanese suckers, we mean poor energy-starved Japanese suckers some money if we can start working another nuclear plant, because we (TEPCO) have shown we are more than probably capable of running a nuclear power plant business and industry into the proverbial ground.

Apparently - just so you all know - TEPCO has been talking to a government committee that has been looking at TEPCO's assets and costs, to try and figure a way that this privately-owned company doesn't go belly-up like some poor sucker forced to clean nuclear waste out of a failing reactor and then dying a hero for a country that has no idea who he was.

Raising its rates seems like a great plan - if you are TEPCO and already a company that does not know how to really service its customers--unless, of course, one considers good service to be some sort of corn-holing activity whereby the average Japanese power consumer is forced to drop their trousers, bend over and take a high hard spent nuclear rod up the butt.

Now some people pay good money for that type of intercourse, and TEPCO is hoping you will, too.

But, man... there isn't even the offer of a reach-around.

And why does TEPCO need your money, dear Japanese consumer? It's because it spent all of its money trying to get the power plants up and running so that there are no more electrical black-outs! Good for them.

Of course... then there's also that little matter of reparation payments that it has been asked forced to provide to people and businesses who have suffered through that little old irradiation incident that lasted a few weeks.

"Yes," screams TEPCO, "let them eat radioactive toilet cake! Everybody knows radioactive toilet cake tastes much better with Heinz!"

With that bad taste in one's mouth, TEPCO is robbing from Peter to pay Paul. Taking money from the poor Japanese energy consumer to pay off those nasty payments to these stupid people who were too slow and indigent to get out of the way of the nuclear radiation when it was spewed up on them.

For shame, TEPCO. For shame. You suck.

And Japan's government - should you allow them to anally probe the Japanese consumer to pay off their debt, shame on you too!

I'm betting TEPCO still managed to get their utility bills out to their happy customers on time.

This diatribe is by Andrew Joseph who enjoys spewing venom from atop his irradiated ivory soapbox paid for with the blood of innocent bloggers.