What is Japlish? It's Japanese English, of course. Every country that speaks English has variations on how the language is spoken. It's not necessarily bad or wrong, it just is.
With that in mind, I'm still going to poke fun at some of the Japanese Japlish stuff I saw mostly on binders while living in Japan many years ago.
First, but not necessarily overly funny, comes the dramatic Traditional Wardrobe Boston Club. The following statement - perhaps the company slogan - appears in English on shirts, notebooks, binders and stickers. Essentially on everything a student might have. It states: "It's very hard to keep doing one thing. (next line) Holding the real thing... that's my way of living a life."
I saw this on a binder: "Let's Do It For Real (next line) Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." Kind of cool. Kind of a strong statement for something that first states they want to do it for real. I'm unsure what doing IT might be, but I have a few thoughts running through my mind.
On another binder: "Tico: Romancer (next line) It's so miracle world." It certainly is, my friends. It certainly is.
Midori Co. Ltd. Japan: "These are my favorite goods (next line) Everyday is enjoyable." This company is also the proud seller of the Midori soft pen case in the photo above. It, too, has a neat message.
Despite the strangeness of the English... IE stiffness, the message on each is still quiet positive. The strange part, however, is that all of these messages of hope and misplaced words are written in English.
While the Japanese are certainly slightly enthusiastic about learning to speak English, comprehension of English words - especially translated word by word - will not really offer a proper representation of the English language.
Of course, neither does this blog. Touché, Japan.
I always wondered why companies would slather English all over anything and everything rather than the more effective and understood Japanese language that their Japanese customers might understand, but I know it's because English is cool.
Knowing a few words in English is probably a great way to impress your friends and confuse your enemies.
Speaking of confusion... check out the following:
On a shower cap (the actual shower cap, not the packaging containing it, at a hotel I stayed at in Kyoto): "Make Yourself Comfortable (next line) ing to the plea, "Make us grandparen (next line) one of the poorest reasons I know (skipping two blank lines) bring a child into the wor (next line) second generation to cool"
Wow.
With two cute red hearts on either side of the top line: "HandyRazor (next line) Day Dream (next line) From me to you (next line) If there's anything that you want (next line) If there's anything I can do (next line) Just call on me and I'll send it along (next line) With love from me to you."
I love The Beatles. I wonder if the lads made anything off that one?
I saw a box for some product called Ice Brand:
"Be cool our body and soul. (next line) We coul feel the Ice Wonder land . (next line) Let's enjoy cool world! (next line) Be all for the best."
Just so you know, the typos are not typos, that's how it was spelled and that's how it appears... on pillows and match boxes, too. I still don't know what Ice Brand is, but I want me some.
Lastly... on a postcard book, the following was written all over the front of a collection of two dozen postcards one can tear out and use:
"Look up the sky, Can beat star's wisper. (next line) It's broken easily, so look at slightly (next line) and quietly .... There! begin to see (next line) shining gentle sight in your mind. (next line) The Gentle Art."
Somewhere I can righting the rongs with ee's,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is sung by Vanilla Ice to the tune of Queen's Under Pressure. GRANDMA
And, here's a great parody by Jim Carrey from IN LIVING COLOR.
PS: Should you want to continue with the retro, here's a previous blog I wrote about weird English on Japanese things: FLOWERPOWER.
