It's Wednesday, May 29, 1991 - I'm in Kobe-shi (City of Kobe) for a renewer's conference for returning assistant English teachers on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme. I'm unsure what we're supposed to learn, but it was a great excuse to drink heavily and party... two things I do so very infrequently in my home town of Ohtawara-shi (City of Ohtawara), Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture) in Japan.
That was sarcasm, folks. I'm 26 years old, I have a girlfriend named Ashley from Augusta, Georgia (I know, I'm in Japan - why not someone Japanese?) and a great friend in Matthew Hall (from New York state).
When I wake up in the hotel room I shared with Doug Maitland and Matthew (they each had a soft bed and I had a fold-out cot), a very tired Matthew informs me that he got up two times to smack me to make me stop snoring.
Revenge is mine! Oh, and thanks for the fold-out bed! Not that it mattered. I still would have snored.
We're up at 9AM. Since I have no idea where Ashley is (she wouldn't tell me her room number, which ticked me off and should have been a clue to me), Matthew and I leave our hotel to revisit the night spot areas of yesterday to look for some action (whatever that means). However, since it's the morning, the places are dead. Still, we look around, have a couple of beers each (It's like what - 10AM?!) and go back to the hotel to listen to the opening address of the renewer's conference.
As I walk back into the hotel, a woman yells out to me. I recognize that voice, but I pretend to ignore her, and make her come up running behind me. It's Kristine South.
Truth be told, I have always found Kristine to be the hottest thing on two legs. She befriended me on my second day in Japan in Tokyo and even saved my life when I crossed the street, as I had forgotten that they drive on the opposite side of the road than what we North Americans do. Hmmm... I still have (20 years later) a life debt to repay.
I give the short, gorgeous Kristine a big hug - because I miss her (though we talk to each other about once a week on the telephone) but mostly because I want to feel her boobs pressed up against me. Come to think of it... I should have turned around and watched her run up to me! Dammit!!!) Yes, I hope she reads this, knowing that she reads this - though she is recently married (Dammit!).
Kristine and I chat briefly - and in a way not to impress a woman you want to sleep with, I tell her that I'm going to sit next to my girlfriend Ashley and then stupidly point her out standing next to Matthew.
I walk back over to Ashley and tell her I've met my friend Kristine.
I walk back over to Kristine and put my arm around her and wave to Ashley.
I kiss Kristine warmly on the side of her face (I know where I wanted to kiss her - but I'm a chicken), and then walk away.
Kristine screams after me: "Wait! Come back! That's the most physical contact I've had in months!"
The whole hotel turns to look at her - and you know every single guy is staring at this big-boobed, cutie who's half-Japanese, half-American and thinking exactly what I'm thinking.
Funny girl, that Kristine. Aside from her obvious physical charms, her warm brown eyes and sharp wit balanced out an intelligence that deep down I knew far outstripped my own. I could never be Mr. Right. But could I be Mr. Right Now?
Just before the conference begins, I sit beside Ashley in the hotel lobby - and we talk. Loudly. I yell at her initially for being stupid and not wanting to give me her room number. She says I didn't give her my room number, either. I retort that she never asked. At least I asked.
Afterward, we do go to her room. She phones her Japanese local friend Mayuko and then accompanies me to my room. See... we can share!
Later on that evening, I see Ashley at the big enkai (party) for us JET renewers. I smile at her but continue to walk around looking for my special K.
I see people I recognize - and people who recognize me... but I'm lousy with names unless I'm sleeping with them or wanting to sleep with them... and by sleeping with them, I mean f-... well, you know what I mean.
Minutes go by and I can't find Kristine, so I head back to Ashley. Ashley is talking with Kristine. Great. This is either going to be a wild fantasy come true, or it's going to be my biggest nightmare. My current girlfriend (with whom I am having problems with) talking with a woman I lust over and adore.
I walk over and begin talking to Kristine. I'm not ignoring Ashley... it's just that I haven't had any great one-on-one chats with Kristine since July of 1990.
Ashley buggers off when my back is turned. Then Kristine makes some excuse and buggers off too. I'm standing there by myself in a crowded party with plenty of people who know me and who I know.
Luckily Matthew comes over with Jeff Seaman (from Yuba, California) and we blow this popsicle stand to go drinking.
It beats me how these boys know just what I need.
We go to some bar called The Attic and a few other bars, and I put away five beers and three whiskeys before we head back to the hotel at midnight.
Confused about women (plural) and drunk, Matthew and I watch an episode of WKRP in Cincinnati on the television in our room. It's funny, but I'm...
Somewhere wondering where the heck Kristine went,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by: The Beatles. The song doesn't fit the blog, does it? That's because I'm being SARCASTIC.
PS: Like all of my diary entries, it's 100 per cent true. I was a knob 20 years ago... and probably one right now. But seriously, Kristine... I was trying to put the moves on you when you took off. Also... just what the heck were you talking to Ashley about?
PPS: Was Kristine listening to Ashley drone on about nothing in particular? Was she talking about me? Was Kristine trying to convince Ashley to dump me? And if not, why not? Was it all just girly-girl talk? Ugh! I hope not. Will there be answers tomorrow? Let's find out, after all, I'm with my girlfriend and the girl who is my friend whom I wish was my girlfriend. What could possibly go wrong? Come back tomorrow and see.
That was sarcasm, folks. I'm 26 years old, I have a girlfriend named Ashley from Augusta, Georgia (I know, I'm in Japan - why not someone Japanese?) and a great friend in Matthew Hall (from New York state).
When I wake up in the hotel room I shared with Doug Maitland and Matthew (they each had a soft bed and I had a fold-out cot), a very tired Matthew informs me that he got up two times to smack me to make me stop snoring.
Revenge is mine! Oh, and thanks for the fold-out bed! Not that it mattered. I still would have snored.
We're up at 9AM. Since I have no idea where Ashley is (she wouldn't tell me her room number, which ticked me off and should have been a clue to me), Matthew and I leave our hotel to revisit the night spot areas of yesterday to look for some action (whatever that means). However, since it's the morning, the places are dead. Still, we look around, have a couple of beers each (It's like what - 10AM?!) and go back to the hotel to listen to the opening address of the renewer's conference.
As I walk back into the hotel, a woman yells out to me. I recognize that voice, but I pretend to ignore her, and make her come up running behind me. It's Kristine South.
Truth be told, I have always found Kristine to be the hottest thing on two legs. She befriended me on my second day in Japan in Tokyo and even saved my life when I crossed the street, as I had forgotten that they drive on the opposite side of the road than what we North Americans do. Hmmm... I still have (20 years later) a life debt to repay.
I give the short, gorgeous Kristine a big hug - because I miss her (though we talk to each other about once a week on the telephone) but mostly because I want to feel her boobs pressed up against me. Come to think of it... I should have turned around and watched her run up to me! Dammit!!!) Yes, I hope she reads this, knowing that she reads this - though she is recently married (Dammit!).
Kristine and I chat briefly - and in a way not to impress a woman you want to sleep with, I tell her that I'm going to sit next to my girlfriend Ashley and then stupidly point her out standing next to Matthew.
I walk back over to Ashley and tell her I've met my friend Kristine.
I walk back over to Kristine and put my arm around her and wave to Ashley.
I kiss Kristine warmly on the side of her face (I know where I wanted to kiss her - but I'm a chicken), and then walk away.
Kristine screams after me: "Wait! Come back! That's the most physical contact I've had in months!"
The whole hotel turns to look at her - and you know every single guy is staring at this big-boobed, cutie who's half-Japanese, half-American and thinking exactly what I'm thinking.
Funny girl, that Kristine. Aside from her obvious physical charms, her warm brown eyes and sharp wit balanced out an intelligence that deep down I knew far outstripped my own. I could never be Mr. Right. But could I be Mr. Right Now?
Just before the conference begins, I sit beside Ashley in the hotel lobby - and we talk. Loudly. I yell at her initially for being stupid and not wanting to give me her room number. She says I didn't give her my room number, either. I retort that she never asked. At least I asked.
Afterward, we do go to her room. She phones her Japanese local friend Mayuko and then accompanies me to my room. See... we can share!
Later on that evening, I see Ashley at the big enkai (party) for us JET renewers. I smile at her but continue to walk around looking for my special K.
I see people I recognize - and people who recognize me... but I'm lousy with names unless I'm sleeping with them or wanting to sleep with them... and by sleeping with them, I mean f-... well, you know what I mean.
Minutes go by and I can't find Kristine, so I head back to Ashley. Ashley is talking with Kristine. Great. This is either going to be a wild fantasy come true, or it's going to be my biggest nightmare. My current girlfriend (with whom I am having problems with) talking with a woman I lust over and adore.
I walk over and begin talking to Kristine. I'm not ignoring Ashley... it's just that I haven't had any great one-on-one chats with Kristine since July of 1990.
Ashley buggers off when my back is turned. Then Kristine makes some excuse and buggers off too. I'm standing there by myself in a crowded party with plenty of people who know me and who I know.
Luckily Matthew comes over with Jeff Seaman (from Yuba, California) and we blow this popsicle stand to go drinking.
It beats me how these boys know just what I need.
We go to some bar called The Attic and a few other bars, and I put away five beers and three whiskeys before we head back to the hotel at midnight.
Confused about women (plural) and drunk, Matthew and I watch an episode of WKRP in Cincinnati on the television in our room. It's funny, but I'm...
Somewhere wondering where the heck Kristine went,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by: The Beatles. The song doesn't fit the blog, does it? That's because I'm being SARCASTIC.
PS: Like all of my diary entries, it's 100 per cent true. I was a knob 20 years ago... and probably one right now. But seriously, Kristine... I was trying to put the moves on you when you took off. Also... just what the heck were you talking to Ashley about?
PPS: Was Kristine listening to Ashley drone on about nothing in particular? Was she talking about me? Was Kristine trying to convince Ashley to dump me? And if not, why not? Was it all just girly-girl talk? Ugh! I hope not. Will there be answers tomorrow? Let's find out, after all, I'm with my girlfriend and the girl who is my friend whom I wish was my girlfriend. What could possibly go wrong? Come back tomorrow and see.
