It's still Friday, July 5, 1991.
I'm an assistant English teacher (AET) inthe JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme living in Ohtawara-shi,Tochigi-ken, Japan. I've been here for nearly a year and despite being stalkedby a gorgeous Japanese woman 21 years of age who could have been a lingeriemodel - if she liked wearing lingerie, Japan has been a great place to getlaid. Oh... and I've learned a lot about the Japanese culture too—so verydifferent from those old Godzilla and AstroBoy movies and cartoons. I think I wasactually a bit disappointed to learn that Japan doesn't have a lot of robotseverywhere.
I was at the OBOE (Ohtawara Board ofEducation) office today where they all kind of had a great laugh with me tocheer me up.
They all knew that while I was happy toget rid of Junko and her stalking, they all knew a beautiful woman like thatwas going to make Andrew also miss her stockings. That's a joke. While theaverage Japanese woman thinks nothing of wearing pantyhose in July, asmentioned before, Junko tended to shun lingerie–or at least she did when shewas around me. Keep that 'lack of lingerie' thought in mind as you read on.
At 2:30PM I leave the OBOE and head hometo prepare myself for a KENSHO enkai. I believe kensho means 'enlightenment' -but in this case, it essentially a party for us JET people to say good-bye tothose who have been here and are leaving.
Matthew has his boss Suzuki-san pick meup at 3PM, and the three of us drive down to Utsunomiya-shi (Tochigi'scapital).
We arrive at 4:45PM - but Suzuki-sandoesn't come in. He just dropped us off and went back home. What a nice guy!Suzuki-san is the atypical Japanese stereotype. Sure he has a dark blue suit,tie and black hair and glasses... but he's one of the funniest guys I've evermet!
The party really is a good-bye party, andto be honest - whoopee. Aside from Mary, her boyfriend Peter, Catherine (akaGasoline), the Izatt family - all of whom I had afair bit of contact with and were always more than kind... the rest of them I didn't really know. It's not too surprising... there was an age difference,and experience difference - (some had been there three years and didn't want tobaby-sit a first year - I understand that), some were a couple, some preferredhanging out with the Japanese only and still others were either loners orsocial outcasts.
At the party the wife of the JET Japaneseliaison keeps asking me personal questions: if I'm married, do I have agirlfriend, when will I get married - the real important questions in life...They are important, but who the heck can answer any them - especially when Idon't even know if I had a girlfriend this week or just a sexual predatorstalking me.
I don't mind the questions, to behonest... at least she's asking in English, and at least she is talking to ME.She might have done it to everyone, but at least I wasn't ignored. I suspectshe wanted to talk to me as I already had a bit of a reputation for being ...flamboyant... and pretty happy-go-lucky. I guess my board of education may havealso said some nice things about me. I'm sure every Japanese person knew I wasbeing stalked though I sure as heck haven't told any JET people about it!
I wasn't sad at the party... until I sawAnita Brudos. God what a sexy woman. If only she was single... but I'm way toimmature for her.
I spend most of the evening talking withChris Rathbone and Nicholas Strachan - two of the most impressive drinkers Ihave ever come across - and that's saying something considering my ownabilities.
Nicholas, has a posh English accent and actually lived about threekilometres north of where I grew up in Toronto... but we had never met prior toarriving in Japan last August. Chris... he's a big guy. Shy.. I'm trying toremember... but I think he's from Saskatchewan... He's a CIR on the JETProgramme... which means his Japanese is sublime.
After the enkai, the three of us arejoined by Sarah Knight (not her real family name) and go out drinking. I don'tknow Sarah very well - and 20 years later I'm having a bugger of a timeremembering what she looks like... I did write down in my diary, however, thatshe was very, very sexy.
A whole bunch of AETs look for a placecalled 'Masquerade', but no one seems to know where it is, so the four of usbreak away from the group and go into a tiny bar. There we each have fourtequila shooters and three beers. At that time Chris calls up a lady friend ofhis - Yumiko. When she arrives - zooey mama! She is hot! Almost Junko-like hot!
The five of us move to a place call the'Sahara Club'. Even with a discount, it costs us Y3500 ($35) each to get in,though we do get a couple of drink coupons.
You needed to have a suit and tie or areally short dress to get in... and I'm going to leave the joke up to you as towhat I was wearing.
The place looks like I would imagine alate 21st Century dance joint. Lasers. Dry ice. Weird papier-mache statues. Thedance floor has a dual riser ringing it with people dancing atop the risers...or rather only slutty looking Japanese women in very short skirts were dancingon them. They were perched at just the right level so guys could look up theirskirts. Not all of them wore underwear. I had to check.
We all head out to the dance floor... meby myself and not really caring, either. Damn tequila.
I danced for about 30 minutes and headedback to the table we had scoped out for a rest. Waiters immediately rushed overand gave us (I was followed back by the others) towels to wipe ourselves down.
I'm asked to go dance by Sarah... Nickdoesn't care... I think they are just friends. But, as the two of us head backout, we are followed by Yumiko, and a suddenly hard-charging Chris.
Nick is wasted. Yumiko ignores Chris anddances facing me. Aw crap. Sarah leaves. Aw crap. So I concentrate on Yumiko -much to Chris' chagrin.
Chris, correctly feeling jealous, tells meto go and check out some of the other woman. He's cool about it so I do. It'sthe right thing to do after all. But Yumiko follows me and asks me to dance.Chris, Yumiko and I do this several times more... but when Chris finally asksher to dance - he hadn't previously - Yumiko squeezes my thigh and tells me tocome, too.
Since I am now feeling the effects of thetequila and I'm trying to get away from Yumiko for Chris' sake... I hop uponto a riser and begin dancing wildly. I'm actually a decent dancer... shhhhh,don't tell anyone.
I dance with one of the slutty dancers -but when I spin around, she's gone, and in her place is Yumiko. She grindsherself against my crotch... I have to slow down on the booze, because I'mpretty sure that right now I couldn't finish what she's wanting me to start.
Regardless... Chris is pissed off at me.I don't really care, because I am doing my darndest to avoid her... but she keeps stalking me all across the dancefloor.
I stop drinking booze and just have Coke.
At 2AM, we leave. I think Nick and Sarahfollowed me back to my hotel room - but fortunately he's not there for thenight, as I sleep with Sarah.
Somewhere not even trying to get laid,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is spun by ZZ Top:ELIMINATOR!
Plus you should check out THIS video... the guitars aren't great, but the drummer is Awesome!
PS: I'm pretty sure I never talked toSarah again after that evening... not because of anything - just that I nevercame across her again... and you can read whatever you want into thatstatement. She may have gone home. Or she just never came out to another JETevent again. It's a pity, because I'm sure she would have remembered me.
PPS: Another blog in 24 hours.
PPS: Another blog in 24 hours.
