It's Tuesday, July 30, 1991. I have been in Japan for one-year, living in Ohtawara-shi (City of Ohtawara), Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture) as an assistant English teacher (AET) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme.
I'm in Tokyo with my friend John who is visiting from my hometown of Toronto, and friend and fellow AET and Ohtawara dweller, Matthew Hall, originally from Binghamton, NY. Matthew & I are here to welcome the newcomers on the JET Programme to Japan. To help them out and lead them astray...
Tonight, it's the Tochigi-ken Party Night.
John is up early and is purposely making a lot of noise to make me wake up. Bastard. I'm not budging, though, but he does wake up Matthew. Apparently John has to meet a tour bus at 8AM in front of the Keio Plaza Hotel (across the street from our hotel).
John leaves and then comes back 10 minutes later and wakes Matthew up again to ask where the Keio is.
Really? How can this guy get lost in the middle of Tokyo last night, find his way to the red light district in Shinjuku and then find his way back to our hotel but not know where the Keio is?! Holy smokes!
John isn't stupid... proof of that is that he asked Matthew for directions and not the perpetually lost Andrew (the guy writing this blog!).
Matthew & I crawl out of our hotel at 10AM and then head out to the Ginza district to do some clothes shopping. I'm 5'-11"+ and Matthew's 6'-3"... so we have to go to a big and tall shop as we are definitely larger than the average Japanese, despite being in good shape.
I don't find anything, and I'm pretty sure Matthew didn't either, so we head back to our hotel at 4PM—John's back. We dress and then go and wait at the Keio for John's friend Barbara who shows up 40 minutes late, barely says hello to Matthew or myself and offers no apology for her tardiness. Twit.
(Do I sound like I'm in a bad mood?)
The Tochigi-ken enkai (party) is in the cafeteria of some non-descript nearby building that offers crappy food, but at least has good beer... but for Y4000 (Cdn/ US $40) a head? Our perhaps soon-to-be-ex JET Tochigi leader Susan must be crazy.
After the party, when I'm already lubricated with booze, Susan wants to talk with me about the monthly newsletter I put out. Apparently the national JET people want me to add 16 pages to my newsletter (The Tatami Times), that is full of dry material such as Wolber's Warbles and stuff from Silke Gaterman.
Why the heck would I want to have to photocopy this crap and then mail it out as part of my magazine (and I do think of it as MY magazine)? I don't see why I have to print stuff that is for the northern block of prefectures... if it's about Tochigi-ken, I'll print it, but for other prefectures? Dame! (No way!) I also tell Susan that I'm keeping to my own publishing schedule (set up by my predecessor, Catherine "Gasoline" Komlodi), so too bad.
Susan gives in and says she'll only give me the material that is relative to our gang in Tochigi.
(I do sound angry, don't I?)
She then asks Matthew and I to lead a large throng of newcomers to the infamous Java Jive. Infamous because this is where I first met and made out with Ashley who helped me keep and lose my sanity over this past year as my on-again/off-again girlfriend and now current friend-with-benefits. Ashley is from Augusta, Georgia and is now back home on a short vacation to re-charge her batteries after our emotionally-draining relationship.
Matthew and I are completely hammered, but we somehow lead 19 people to the place—and this year no one got lost (I believe David Rosett was the unlucky one last year).
John's friend Barb splits before we get there, for some reason. Twit.
At this club, men are only allowed to enter if escorted by a woman. Last year, I was going to hook up with the gorgeous Catherine, when I was scooped up by Ashley. I didn't mind that at all... she was/is cute, has a bit of a southern drawl and is an excellent kisser... but we're not a couple anymore, per her wishes.
As such, I'm about to lock arms with Karen Irwin, a sexy, freckly, bubbly redhead from North Bay, Ontario--when a skinny, pretty blond named Laurie Tiffenbach grabs my arm and marches me inside.
I, figuring I'm going to get a new girlfriend out of this, pay for both of us. Idiot.
Once inside, Laurie and I have a drink, but when she gets it, she heads over to the Ladies washroom. That's when Karen comes over.
We hook up immediately... she's all over me. Again... I just want to state that I did not make a move on anyone. We danced all night... and I'm unsure if I ever talked with Laurie again.
On the dance floor, I have the moves down, as there are a lot of people watching me/us... with a few Japanese people coming up to me to say they liked my dancing! I had never danced before I came to this country, and probably only danced four or five times since then.
Anyhow... after a lot of heavy flirting, Karen tells me we have to slow down because she's not ready yet. 'Not ready yet - for what?', is what I am thinking, but since she's hammered, I'll leave that for another day.
She tells me a sad tale of her fiance dying in a place crash in the Peruvian jungle two years ago. She's nice, but she is very similar to Ashley in that both are F.I.N.E. (fudged up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional). What is wrong with me that woman like this are drawn to me? Am I drawn to them?
Next, Chris Rathbone, a CIR and friend from the past year comes over and bawls his head off (damn this booze!). He says he never told his dying father he loved him. Wow. That's rough. I tell him to relax, sober up and to call his dad tomorrow.
At 3AM, John, Matthew and I leave the Java Jive with a clingy Karen all over me (which I don't mind at all).
John stupidly takes charge when we are in a taxi and tells the cabbie to take us to the Keio Hotel, instead of the Washington Hotel where Karen is staying. What the hell... maybe my lips were locked with Karen, and Matthew's eyes were rolling around in the back of his head, so only John had the wherewithal to talk to the cab driver. Still, we did tell John where we needed to take Karen.
While I roll Karen back to her hotel and get a wicked kiss and grope from her, John has taken Matthew back to our hotel to throw up.
Now about 4AM, I walk back alone to our hotel only to find it locked up tighter than a nun's butt, with no way in, and no sign of Matthew or John. I guess they made it in on time.
With nothing better to do, I walk slowly over (I'm still pretty buzzed) to the Keio Hotel and sit near the all-night JET desk.
A young woman comes in at around 4:30AM and talks to me about how scared she is to be in Japan, and how she wants to go home. She's very good-looking, and really, she should be scared of the drunk Canadian who is eye-humping her. That's me!
Still, the enigma that I am, I try to calm her down and talk to her about all of the wonderful experiences I've had here, and how friendly everyone is, and how she'll have memories to last several lifetimes if she lets herself relax! The JET counselor comes over at 4:45AM and escorts the girl away from me. I have no idea what her name was, or even if she stayed, but I sure hope so. Why should Matthew, Karen and I have all the fun?
At 6AM, I walk out of the Keio and back to my hotel across the street. The glass front sliding doors are now open, so I go back up to our hotel room and sleep on the floor, waking up when John does at 9AM.
Somewhere tired,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by Bowling For Soup: STRIKE!
PS: Another blog - on Japan's nuclear facility crisis will appear in 8 hours, from the time of this publication, with another blog appearing four hours after that.
PPS: Who says you don't get your money's worth at Japan - It's A Wonderful Rife? Nobody! Because it's free... except for my time and effort to compile information - and your time and effort to read it! Thanks!
I'm in Tokyo with my friend John who is visiting from my hometown of Toronto, and friend and fellow AET and Ohtawara dweller, Matthew Hall, originally from Binghamton, NY. Matthew & I are here to welcome the newcomers on the JET Programme to Japan. To help them out and lead them astray...
Tonight, it's the Tochigi-ken Party Night.
John is up early and is purposely making a lot of noise to make me wake up. Bastard. I'm not budging, though, but he does wake up Matthew. Apparently John has to meet a tour bus at 8AM in front of the Keio Plaza Hotel (across the street from our hotel).
John leaves and then comes back 10 minutes later and wakes Matthew up again to ask where the Keio is.
Really? How can this guy get lost in the middle of Tokyo last night, find his way to the red light district in Shinjuku and then find his way back to our hotel but not know where the Keio is?! Holy smokes!
John isn't stupid... proof of that is that he asked Matthew for directions and not the perpetually lost Andrew (the guy writing this blog!).
Matthew & I crawl out of our hotel at 10AM and then head out to the Ginza district to do some clothes shopping. I'm 5'-11"+ and Matthew's 6'-3"... so we have to go to a big and tall shop as we are definitely larger than the average Japanese, despite being in good shape.
I don't find anything, and I'm pretty sure Matthew didn't either, so we head back to our hotel at 4PM—John's back. We dress and then go and wait at the Keio for John's friend Barbara who shows up 40 minutes late, barely says hello to Matthew or myself and offers no apology for her tardiness. Twit.
(Do I sound like I'm in a bad mood?)
The Tochigi-ken enkai (party) is in the cafeteria of some non-descript nearby building that offers crappy food, but at least has good beer... but for Y4000 (Cdn/ US $40) a head? Our perhaps soon-to-be-ex JET Tochigi leader Susan must be crazy.
After the party, when I'm already lubricated with booze, Susan wants to talk with me about the monthly newsletter I put out. Apparently the national JET people want me to add 16 pages to my newsletter (The Tatami Times), that is full of dry material such as Wolber's Warbles and stuff from Silke Gaterman.
Why the heck would I want to have to photocopy this crap and then mail it out as part of my magazine (and I do think of it as MY magazine)? I don't see why I have to print stuff that is for the northern block of prefectures... if it's about Tochigi-ken, I'll print it, but for other prefectures? Dame! (No way!) I also tell Susan that I'm keeping to my own publishing schedule (set up by my predecessor, Catherine "Gasoline" Komlodi), so too bad.
Susan gives in and says she'll only give me the material that is relative to our gang in Tochigi.
(I do sound angry, don't I?)
She then asks Matthew and I to lead a large throng of newcomers to the infamous Java Jive. Infamous because this is where I first met and made out with Ashley who helped me keep and lose my sanity over this past year as my on-again/off-again girlfriend and now current friend-with-benefits. Ashley is from Augusta, Georgia and is now back home on a short vacation to re-charge her batteries after our emotionally-draining relationship.
Matthew and I are completely hammered, but we somehow lead 19 people to the place—and this year no one got lost (I believe David Rosett was the unlucky one last year).
John's friend Barb splits before we get there, for some reason. Twit.
At this club, men are only allowed to enter if escorted by a woman. Last year, I was going to hook up with the gorgeous Catherine, when I was scooped up by Ashley. I didn't mind that at all... she was/is cute, has a bit of a southern drawl and is an excellent kisser... but we're not a couple anymore, per her wishes.
As such, I'm about to lock arms with Karen Irwin, a sexy, freckly, bubbly redhead from North Bay, Ontario--when a skinny, pretty blond named Laurie Tiffenbach grabs my arm and marches me inside.
I, figuring I'm going to get a new girlfriend out of this, pay for both of us. Idiot.
Once inside, Laurie and I have a drink, but when she gets it, she heads over to the Ladies washroom. That's when Karen comes over.
We hook up immediately... she's all over me. Again... I just want to state that I did not make a move on anyone. We danced all night... and I'm unsure if I ever talked with Laurie again.
On the dance floor, I have the moves down, as there are a lot of people watching me/us... with a few Japanese people coming up to me to say they liked my dancing! I had never danced before I came to this country, and probably only danced four or five times since then.
Anyhow... after a lot of heavy flirting, Karen tells me we have to slow down because she's not ready yet. 'Not ready yet - for what?', is what I am thinking, but since she's hammered, I'll leave that for another day.
She tells me a sad tale of her fiance dying in a place crash in the Peruvian jungle two years ago. She's nice, but she is very similar to Ashley in that both are F.I.N.E. (fudged up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional). What is wrong with me that woman like this are drawn to me? Am I drawn to them?
Next, Chris Rathbone, a CIR and friend from the past year comes over and bawls his head off (damn this booze!). He says he never told his dying father he loved him. Wow. That's rough. I tell him to relax, sober up and to call his dad tomorrow.
At 3AM, John, Matthew and I leave the Java Jive with a clingy Karen all over me (which I don't mind at all).
John stupidly takes charge when we are in a taxi and tells the cabbie to take us to the Keio Hotel, instead of the Washington Hotel where Karen is staying. What the hell... maybe my lips were locked with Karen, and Matthew's eyes were rolling around in the back of his head, so only John had the wherewithal to talk to the cab driver. Still, we did tell John where we needed to take Karen.
While I roll Karen back to her hotel and get a wicked kiss and grope from her, John has taken Matthew back to our hotel to throw up.
Now about 4AM, I walk back alone to our hotel only to find it locked up tighter than a nun's butt, with no way in, and no sign of Matthew or John. I guess they made it in on time.
With nothing better to do, I walk slowly over (I'm still pretty buzzed) to the Keio Hotel and sit near the all-night JET desk.
A young woman comes in at around 4:30AM and talks to me about how scared she is to be in Japan, and how she wants to go home. She's very good-looking, and really, she should be scared of the drunk Canadian who is eye-humping her. That's me!
Still, the enigma that I am, I try to calm her down and talk to her about all of the wonderful experiences I've had here, and how friendly everyone is, and how she'll have memories to last several lifetimes if she lets herself relax! The JET counselor comes over at 4:45AM and escorts the girl away from me. I have no idea what her name was, or even if she stayed, but I sure hope so. Why should Matthew, Karen and I have all the fun?
At 6AM, I walk out of the Keio and back to my hotel across the street. The glass front sliding doors are now open, so I go back up to our hotel room and sleep on the floor, waking up when John does at 9AM.
Somewhere tired,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by Bowling For Soup: STRIKE!
PS: Another blog - on Japan's nuclear facility crisis will appear in 8 hours, from the time of this publication, with another blog appearing four hours after that.
PPS: Who says you don't get your money's worth at Japan - It's A Wonderful Rife? Nobody! Because it's free... except for my time and effort to compile information - and your time and effort to read it! Thanks!
