Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

Here's another entry from Kevin Blackburn, a CIR Co-ordinator of International Relations) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme who lived in nearby Bato-machi (Town of Bato) in Tochigi-ken (the Province/Prefecture of Tochigi) in Japan.

The following tale by Ken was published in the JET newsletter The Tatami Times back in September 1991.

The Lighter Side

Murphy's Law #431 says: If Kevin hangs his laundry out to dry, it will rain.

At first I was discouraged by this discovery. Now I've applied the scientific method to the problem, and through experimentation have found a foolproof way to change the weather in Bato.

If Bato's gone for too long without rain, I can generally end the drought by hanging out a full load of laundry. A couple of pairs of underwear (my own, mind you!) and a pillowcase guarantee a light sprinkle.

One pair apparently does nothing (although the high school girls walking by stop and giggle).

If I put my futon (Japanese bedding) on the veranda to air out, a thunderstorm is guaranteed, and generally starts when I'm in a meeting I can't sneak out of.

Thanks again, Kevin, for writing about your wonderful rife in Bato.

Obviously this rain thing isn't just Kevin's domain. I, too, am the cause of many a thunderstorm - which is something my father, Odin, likes to tease me about.

However, for me, as the unabashed King of rain... when it pours, I reign... I get all wet and moist  - well, pretty much all of the time, as Tochigi-ken seems to get more than its fair share of bad weather. That may be Kevin's fault for doing so much laundry.

Naw... for me... it only seems to rain when I'm traveling. Traveling to a teacher's conference, vacationing, checking out sights around town ... that sort of stuff.

It really is so bad that both the foreigners and Japanese about Ohtawara-shi (where I live) have taken to calling me Ame otoko. Depending on the Chinese/Japanese kanji symbols used, it either means 'candy man' or 'rain man'. Guess which one I am.

Granted I didn't arrive in Japan and suddenly become all wet. Nope, the transformation began after I was first hit by a car while riding my bicycle in a typhoon. Here's ONE STORY  I did previously. Here's ANOTHER.

Now, some of you might be wondering what the hell a person would be doing riding a bicycle around in a typhoon... well, all I can say is, if you have to ask, you have never lived in a country where hurricanes (typhoons) are a common occurrence. Not having a car, the bicycle is the main form of location for gaijin (foreigner/ outsider) like myself in and about town. Since I had to get to school to teach, I used my bicycle - it's what all of the students were doing, if they can do it, so can I.

Somewhere with my own private weather system,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog is brought to us by me thinking of Travis: PLOP

Born Too Late

Today's blog was originally care of one Kevin Blackburn, a super nice guy I wish I had gotten to know better over my years in Japan. He lived in a tint widdle town called Bato in Tochigi-ken, and was a CIR (Co-ordinator for International Relations). He spoke fluent Japanese, and I think fluent English.
For the August 1991 issue of The Tatami Times, he provides us with a nice slice of life.
The Tatami Times was a monthly newsletter published in English by myself as part of the fringe benefits enjoyed by Tochigi-ken's many dues-paying JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme people.

So... with out much more further ado, here's Kevin's:

The Lighter Side

"KAKKOII!"

In my day, girls said "What a fox!" Later, it became popular to say, "What a hunk!" I'm afraid I've been away from the U.S. too long, and don't know the right phrase for today. Probably something like, "What a bart Simpson!"

But in Noborito, Japan, a few steps from Mukogaokayuen-eki (train station), in front of the pachinko parlour, on June 15, 1991 at 5:17 PM, witnesses can attest that the word was "KAKKOII!" (pronounced ka-ku-wee). 

I've mentioned in this column before (or at least old Andrew has), that foreigners are usually called gaijin--outsider--sometimes in a derogatory manner.

But not last Saturday evening. 

I finally found a young Japanese lady who appreciated my worth, and wasn't afraid to say it in public.

So, to the anonymous seven-year-old who both embarrassed and encouraged me: thanks!

And to you Kevin Blackburn - thank-you for your wonderful rife.

Somewhere wondering if Kevin knows his admirer is now 26-years-old or so,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by The Poni-Tails: KAKKOII!
PS: Ode to Kevin Blackburn... In the photo above, Kevin Blackburn is on the left, your 'great legs' author Andrew Joseph beside him, Jeff Seaman, Matthew Hall and Tim Mould on the far right are drunk and belting out a karaoke song: according to the tv prompter, it's: Take Me Home, Country Roads, one of approximately six karaoke songs in English available in Japan between 1990-1993... and probably up to whatever year it is now.