Okay... after Ashley and I broke up, and whatever physical relationship we had decided to maintain - it all went out the door when she went back home to Augusta, Georgia - or wherever the heck she went. I was single, and being alone in Japan was definitely no fun. Matthew was well into a serious relationship with Takako Kurita - and for the first time since arriving in Japan - I felt completely alone.
I wanted to call up my friend Kristine and spend a week over at her place - but to be honest... despite whatever it is that I feel for her - love, lust, severe like - I actually like her too much to burden her... to make her a rebound. I didn't want her to be my reserve girl... It's true... I'd rather let that dubious standard fall to someone else - and then I can call Kristine!
So... to avoid further blindness through onani (see WOT), I decided to take a shot at the single's bar scene here in Ohtawara.
Now back in Toronto, I absolutely loathed the meat-markets, and never actually made eye contact with a woman - but after being in Japan for about 25 months, I have developed some self-confidence. I decided on the 4-Carat as my base of operations. It was my choice, not because it was the first place I was ever slapped by my sometimes-but-not-today-I'm-not-current-ex-girlfriend - nope, I'm not into nostalgia that much. Rather it's because it's a mere three-minute walk (seven-minute drunken stagger) from my apartment - plus, it's located on the restaurant/sleaze street of Ohtawara - whatever that street is called. Already, my prospects looked good.
Walking into the 4C, I said hello to me mate and bartender, Mark - a cool 20-year-old from New Zealand.
Now... the 4C was a veritable hotbed for beautiful, sexy Japanese women - partly because of Mark, but also because the place had a certain cache.
That evening at the 4C - not one of the 10 women at this cozy little place was paying me even the slightest regard. And then I remembered... sure I was well-dressed, had a modern hairstyle, good manners et al... but I also had a reputation.
Every single one of these women knew who I was, and knew that I had a girlfriend... and that no matter how many times I had broken up with Ashley, we always seemed to get back together.
Dammit! This time it was different, but no one wanted to take a chance. And what the heck happened to the Ohtawara grapevine - where everybody knows everything about me? Cripes! A guy goes back to Canada for a one-month vacation, and it's like I'm taken out of the loop!
Mark, listening to me rationalize out loud, told me that the women were afraid to talk to me because I was talking to myself. Oh.
Throwing caution to the wind, I turned to the woman beside me at the bar and attempted to start a conversation. She nodded her head a lot and said 'Hai (yes)' many times. But, when I asked her what her name was, she repeated the last few words I said, smiled and said "Eigo-ga, wakirimasen" (I don't understand English). In a wonderful twist... this woman had pulled the exact same non-understanding language trick I thought I had created... say yes a lot and repeat the last word hoping others will understand you are trying, and then the apology for not speaking the language! Turnabout is fair play.
To avoid that problem, I began to chat her up using the Japanese I had picked up - but, after 30 seconds, it was quite apparent I had not picked up that much of the Japanese language during these past 25 months... I swear, I'll start studying tomorrow!
I shook my head in defeat and muttered something about the impossibility of finding a female who wasn't in junior or senior high school who could speak English. That was when I was tapped on the shoulder by a pretty young woman who asked me in English if I would like to join her for a drink at her table.
We were just starting to get cozy when she happened to glance at her watch. She excitedly yelled something about having to get home before midnight because of her curfew.
All of the other women quickly looked at their watches, downed their drinks and ran for the exit, leaving many lonely men wondering who was going to win the next Sumo basho (tournament).
Somewhere looking for a tomato in a sausage factory,
Andrew Joseph
PS: A true story - single women, at least those living in Ohtawara, tend to live at home with their parents... and seem to have a curfew placed upon themselves by their controlling parents. Obviously with all of us single guys still stuck at the bar discussing sumo, there was no curfew for us. A sexist dichotomy.
PPS: And no... I never did spend any time with Kristine - probably a good thing - for her.
PPPS: Today's title is by Elvis Presley - who despite singing about this Heartbreak hotel or being Lonely tonight... I'm betting he could have slept with all of the women at the 4C by the time I got my first drink. Sometimes the service was slow because Mark was busy chatting up a local. ORDERUP.
PPPPS: In the photo up above... that's me with my friend Naoko on the right, and her friend, whose name I no longer recall on the left. It just looks like they are eating sausages...
