Matchbox

For any younger readers, this blog entry is a tad more adult than usual... so don't tell your parents. 

So... your old pal Andrew just had a first date with Nobuko Kikuchi, a Japanese teacher of English at Nozaki Chu Gakko (Nozaki Junuior High School) where I go (along with six other schools) to team teach.
While I had been out (and in) with a couple of other Japanese women, I had spent the majority of my 2 and-a-half years as the play-thing of other foreigners working in Japan, with women from Canada, the U.S., Scotland, England, Australia and New Zealand.
Why? Why go to Japan to sleep with the gaijin (foreigners)? The simple answer, is that there was a need to be filled. Sorry, no double entendre was meant there. By that statement, I meant that while all of the guys on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme were trying to get with the local Japanese talent, the female foreigners were not trying to do the same, and spent most of their waking day fending off well-meaning but misplaced advances from the Japanese men.
The following has been written and re-written a total of four times. The end result is the same - I still come off sounding like a pompous ass, but at least withy this version I hope I am clear in whatever point I am trying to make.
The facts:
Yes, I dated/slept with a lot of foreign women while in Japan. It wasn't necessarily my idea. I was just a willing pawn. Y'see, of the 28 women I slept with while in Japan, there was only one woman I actually asked out - Nobuko.
This blog is going to explain the mindset of the average foreigner - men and women, as well as that of the average Japanese man and woman, regarding sex and stereotypes. 


Because I was once a journalist (worked for the Toronto Star as a reporter before coming to Japan), I had no qualms about asking the foreign women their opinions on sex and the Japanese man. Most of the foreign women living in Japan did NOT want to date or sleep with a Japanese man. This is not MY opinion, this is just from a small sampling of 25 women I talked to. Scientific it ain't.
 Why? According to most Japanese women - and foreign women - Japanese men are chauvinistic. Fair enough. They probably are.
 -Foreign women, as far as sex goes, seemed to also be hung-up on the fact that the average Japanese man is not as big (down there) as the average, let's say American man.
  - Japanese women - they had heard that foreign men were bigger than the average Japanese man. They also heard that foreign guys would treat them better than the average Japanese guy. 
 - Foreign men - they had heard that the average Japanese women was a sex toy, with beautiful long black hair who wanted nothing more than to look after their man.
 - Japanese men - they just liked women... especially foreign women. If you were blonde, so much the better (in a nation of raven haired women, blonde is good). Plus the average foreign woman is purported to have big boobs. The purport is correct, but I know a Japanese woman or two with big boobs.
Stereotypically, Japanese men are all workaholics in lousy suits -  but they are smaller down there. See photographic evidence HERE. The Japanese condom is on the right.
According to a Penthouse article I once read (yes, some guys do actually read adult magazines), the average Canadian is between six and eight inches, and the average American between five and seven inches in length.
Now, as a proud Canadian who enjoys waving the flag (double entendre was meant here), my female AET (assistant English Teacher) compadres did not, for the most part, wish to become embroiled in a relationship with a sexist, short man.
However, with nearly all of the foreign guys doing yeomen's work trying to date the Japanese female population, there was a vacuum... and nature abhors a vacuum... and as such, with any vacuum, something will always slither out from under a rock to take advantage of a situation.
That's where I came in (so to speak) - as a non-Japanese male NOT currently chasing after Japanese women, I was ripe for the picking, and was asked out on many dates, asked to be an escort down to Tokyo dance clubs, and sometime just asked to perform, if you know what I mean. So I did. 28 times.
After my first year in Ohtawara-shi, and again after Ashley broke up... er, I mean I broke up with her (though we did reserve the right for her to have booty calls, seeing as how she still trusted me - she just couldn't stand being around me for longer than three hours at a time)... I began to play the field. With the new crop of AETs just winging in, there was your old pal Andrew hovering around looking to make a positive AET role model impression on them. That year alone, I slept with eight different female AETs... and thank the stars, no one really wanted a commitment from me.I had become a player. Yes... I said a 'player'. It sounds strange for me to realize that now in 2010 that I was one of those guys I always hated, but the evidence is before the court, and I'm tearing down the walls. Still, and I am saying this with a now 20-year perspective on things... it's not bad for a guy who was 25 years old when he arrived in Japan (nearly 26), and was still a virgin.
Quality versus wantity? Why can't a guy have both?

Anyhow, the purpose of this blog entry isn't to brag (well... maybe a bit. Okay... a whole lot), but it's also to explain the comings and goings-on of the men and women when they aren't at work here in Japan.
Foreign guys wanted Japanese women.
Foreign women wanted any foreign guy (me).
Japanese women wanted to see if the myth was true (sometimes yes, and sometimes no).
And Japanese guys... they also got screwed... just not the way they wanted.
Japan: There's no rife like it.

Somewhere this puppy dog is vacuuming,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title was inspired by The Beatles: Listen to the song HERE.
PS:  While of course I did a lot of bragging here  - but for the foreign guy, Japan is just like Tokyo Disneyland... the catch is, you must be "this" big to ride the rides.
PPS: Next blog - the woman I was dating the day before I met Nobuko.I know... I'm such a pig.