How are you enjoying your first month here in Japan in the large city of Ashikaga-shi, Tochigi-ken? You're a real pretty woman - I love your long blond wavy hair - okay, okay, I'm backing off. Yeesh.
Okay darlin', you've got the most beautiful mouth I've ever come across (that sounds dirty!), so how about you give me your first impressions of life in Japan as a 5'-8" blond from the U.S. who decided to come here in August 1991 as an Assistant English Teacher on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme?
Thank-you...
- Big bugs
- Small people
- My kitchen sink is at knee level
- Perma-smile (boy, this hurts)
- (What am I doing here)
- Why is there a sink in my toilet?
- I'm sorry I forgot to take my shoes off.
- How can anyone wear pantyhose in this heat?
- Praise-be for bilingual television!
- (But I never would have been excited about Knight Rider before.)
- Which way does the hanko go?
- (Are those rice fields?)
- I'm so happy my predecessor was perfect.
- Why don't they wear sunglasses?
- More packets of JET information? Why THANK you!!!
- What do you mean, "The directions are in Japanese?"
- I need more omiyage (gifts to give out) Tobu department store to the rescue!
- I come from the galaxy - not Mars, OKAY!?!
- WHAT AM I DOING HERE!!???
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is rocked out by Guns N Roses: FUN&GAMES
PS: Amanda was quite obviously shell-shocked upon arriving here in Japan. I did not actually try to hit on her. I knew it wouldn't work, as I believe she told me so after first saying hello to me back in Tokyo when I went down to scope out the chicks - I mean welcome the JET newcomers to Japan.
PPS: Amanda recovered quickly enough and soon became a power fixture in our Tochigi-ken, taking over for me as editor of the monthly Tatami Times JET newsletter after I got tired of the politics (and was depressed over the whole girlfriend thing and quit being the Editor). I was getting regular sex from a lot of different women - but I had no girlfriend. I'm sure I'll explain more later.
PPPS: The cover image at the top was from the September 1991 issue of The Tatami Times. I'm unsure now where I got the image from, but I certainly had students who acted like The Three Stooges! This is the cover to the issue Amanda's First Impressions was first printed.
