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| Noriko is beside the woman with the striped dress. |
Now, despite that rather bold pronouncement, I didn't take advantage of anyone. Well, I did for sex, but in 100% of the times, it was mutual. There were bragging rights for me, just as it was for every Japanese woman to know they had slept with me or any foreigner.
Okay... I'm just guessing about what drew all of those women to me. As far as the foreign women went, I was one of the few non-Japanese guys who wanted to sleep with them - and was at least taller than them.
But I'm getting off... topic, that is. I wanted to introduce you to my superb Japanese girlfriend Nobuko Kikuchi who worked along side me at Nozaki Chu Gakko (Nozaki Junior High School) in Ohtawara-shi (City of Ohtawara), Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), Japan while I taught as an Assistant English Teacher on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme.
As well, I'd like to introduce you to Noriko Ishihara, a beautiful woman who worked alongside of me at Nozaki Chu... hmm... just add the remainder of the previous sentence to here.
I never slept with Noriko... though I suppose I did want to. She was tall - maybe 5'-8", sharp-tongue, highly intelligent, a great, soft-spoken English teacher who treated me very, very well. We were friends. It was her being transferred to Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Junior High School), that opened the door for Nobuko to be hired on at Nozaki back in April of 1993.
I've told you and told you numerous times that Nozaki (No-Chu) was a fantastic school!
Briefly about Nobuko. She's 5'-1" (maybe), delicate features, a sharp tongue and highly intelligent. She was a strong teacher - at least when I was with her - and she was full of confidence. And, I loved her very much - enough become engaged with each other. She was full of confidence with her students and with myself - but that would evaporate whenever her parents were involved.
I met her parents a few times. I brought her mom flowers and her dad a very expensive bottle of whiskey. I also brought flowers for Nobuko. They cooked dinner for me - and we had a great time. And here's why. The folks did not speak English and everything was translated by Nobuko for them. As such, they had no clue Nobuko and I were boyfriend/girlfriend or later were even engaged - despite the addition of jewelry on her fingers. Personally, I think they knew.
I wanted her to tell her parents - but she was afraid. I wanted Nobuko to at least come with me to Toronto (when it was time for me to complete my three years on the JET Programme) and vacation there for a month - to see if she could handle me and the country - to see if we could be ourselves, together.
She couldn't because she had no idea how to tell her parents anything. She was daddy's little girl, and would do nothing to embarrass him.
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| Nobuko and I - 1st meeting (yeesh)... I think my wife has hidden all of her photos! |
Dad was the head of the junior high school vice-principals in the northern area of Tochigi-ken - and as such held a fairly important position in the Education sector. Because of that position, it would have been an embarrassment if it ever came out that his beautiful daughter, Nobuko, was dating me - a foreigner. Because dating means having sex - which is incorrect, but in this case it was correct a couple of times a day. Sometimes even more. Having one's daughter date a foreigner was a way for him to lose face. It didn't matter that I was a great guy and that I had friends up and down the Education Ministry, and that teachers, students and parents liked and respected me. It was the fact that I was despoiling his virgin daughter... and forgive me, but she wasn't a virgin when we met.
It was sad, but our relationship ended because she chose her father over me. And while I wish her much happiness with whoever took my place, I still feel cheated. To be honest, it rejection ticked me off - but I did understand. The better man had won.
Noriko - she was in love with a foreigner from New Zealand. They met when she travelled down there on vacation. He must have really swept her of her feet, because the romance continued over the telephone and mail for a couple of years.
Here was someone who actually killed two years of her life waiting for someone to come and visit her in Japan - but he never did. She didn't know how to tell her parents about John, and except for a couple of girlfriends, she had no one to confide in. Speaking to me in English so no one would understand, she explained about how in love she was, and asked what she should do about it.
I said that if the love is meant to be, it will find a way. But, that you should set a time limit - so as to not waste the rest of your life waiting for someone or something that may never happen.
She accepted that, and set an ultimatum for John, that sadly passed. You dumb bastard, John... you let a good one get away. Noriko tried, and you didn't.
Now... of course, all of this with Noriko and John happened BEFORE I met Nobuko.
When I went home, unable to convince Nobuko to come and visit with me in Toronto, I made arrangements to fly back to Japan and stay with a friend and fellow AET Colin McKay of Calgary. He allowed me to stay at his place for a month. Nobuko... she wasn't working that fall, and she and I spent every waking hour together, sometimes three or four times a day until Colin would come home from teaching at the Kuroiso Boys High School (Kuroiso Dai Gakko). Incidentally, Kuroiso-shi (City of Kuroiso) is where Nobuko lived with her parents. She had moved out years ago, and like in both Osaka and Tokyo, and after the few months of teaching at No-chu, she was studying for a civil service exam.
Anyhow, after the blissful month with Nobuko passed and it was time for me to go home again - alone again - I told her I wouldn't give up on her until I knew she had given up on me.
Trouble is, she wouldn't give up on me, despite her inability to tell her parents about our love or her ability to come and visit me. She was scared. What would she tell her parents? She was coming to visit me? Then everyone would know we were a couple!
People... I tried and tried to reason with Nobuko for nearly a year... and after my mother passed away a year after returning (the day before Nobuko's birthday), I knew I had to release Nobuko from my burden. We had to free each other.
I told her I loved her, but it was obvious that neither of us could live in the other's country forever. It was heartbreaking, but I know we both were able to move on. No regrets - at least I didn't, and was thankful for the time we had together.
Somewhere wondering if John and Nobuko regret not trying hard enough,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is by The Beatles. It's powerful. I love it. YOUKNOWTHEREASONWHY
