Love Rollercoaster

Because the next two days are kind of dull like my mood, I'm going to combine them. I only include them because I'm setting the mood - as the next couple of months will soon become quite frenetic.

Thursday, June 6, 1991.
At Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Junior High School) I only have classes in the 3rd, 4th and 5th period (there are only 5 periods at this school) -  all of which I have to teach by myself as the English teacher Mrs. Yamamoto has to coach a softball tournament.
Before they leave, the girls are out practicing on the field outside, so I go out to watch.
These kids are fantastic! So's the coach. Strong and forceful, but cajoling. An excellent coach.
These girls play better than any of the teams I played on as an adult in my early 20s!
Wishing them good luck, I head back in to prepare for my three classes.
In each of the classes, I show them the first half of the movie Back To The Future - and show the last half after school to 12 very interested - but nerdy - boys. The rest had their own club activities to attend - but 12 is more than I expected, to tell the truth.
When I go home afterward, I call up Rory - Kristine's friend in Tokyo - introduce myself (as a friend of Kristine) and mention that Kristine thought he and I would get along. I then related my girl situation. Rory had no qualms about having me come for a visit to show me around the city to help me get out of my funk (and hopefully my pants! with some lucky woman or three).
It's Thursday. My ex-girlfriend Ashley and I apparently broke up on Monday - even though I'm sure I broke up with her on Saturday. I only mention this because this is the longest I have gone in Japan without having a woman around as my girlfriend or girlfriend as a one-night plaything. That's what Japan was like for me. I spent nearly 26 years being ignored by women back in Toronto, but here in Japan - the whole country was like my own private Plato's Retreat. My own private Disneyland where I don't care how tall you are to ride my roller coaster. 
After talking to Rory, I call up Kristine for a 30-minute sexually-charged one-handed conversation. Just so you all are aware... 20 years later Kristine has no knowledge of these sexually charged conversations, but I still have the right forearm muscles to prove it.
Sated, I call up Tim and Mari Ann before Matthew comes over with his new girlfriend (but mutual friend) Takako. She looks awesome. Matthew's one lucky dog.
I go to bed, but not to sleep. That's Day five, if any one is counting.

Friday June 7, 1991.
Today is an office day where I go to the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education) office and write up a few reports for them, write letters and essentially get paid for the day while goofing off.
Kanemaru-san and Hanzaki-san - my two bosses responsible for me while I am in Japan tell me that I'll be getting an air-conditioner in my apartment next Wednesday. Apparently my sweating fish story worked (HOTFISH)!
From the office, I call up the effervescent Melissa - a very sexy blond I really liked but was unable to do anything about while shackled to Ashley since my third day in Japan - and tell her about my situation. Apparently she already knows.
I'm guessing some sort of warning went out to all of the female AETs (assistant English teachers) working in Tochigi-ken on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme to let them know that I was on the prowl. As such - I ain't getting any from her, as she seems to have sided with Ashley on this one. That's just my opinion - she never said anything to indicate that, though.
At home, I decide not to go out to the bars, and instead stay home and further depress myself. Heavily. With booze. I call up a few people: Dan, Matthew, Melissa (again - but she's still not biting, if you know what I mean) and Ashley. We chat for less than a minute. It's not pretty.
And, just to let you know what I was thinking - and have never mentioned this to a single person before - I thought about going up to the roof of my seven-story apartment building and ending it on the pavement below. Stupid. The thought was there long enough to remember it, but short enough to realize I would never do something to hurt myself - especially over a woman. Stupid.
Still, I decide not to even bother going to bed and stay up all night long pacing in my three-bedroom apartment going over the past in my head. I'm just making myself further upset. Stupid.

Somewhere on the prowl,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is ridden by the Ohio Players: TWOTICKETS. There's also a cool version done 20 years later by the Red Hot Chili Peppers: FOURTICKETS (the cost of inflation), but it's well worth the money to have a listen.
PS: The roller coaster goes up and down and side to side - much like the way I was feeling these two days - but you already knew that, didn't you?

Alice's Restaurant

It's June 5 , 1991 - a Wednesday. Despite not having slept since Saturday night, today was a good day.
The classes at Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Junior High School) were long, but easy. Everybody was nice to me. I was even taken home early.
That thing on my face? That's a smile.
My Japanese female friend Naoko comes over at 6PM to drive me to a restaurant owned by two women in my night school English class I teach on Monday's. These women must be in their 70's... I mean, they look old - which isn't much to go on, except that the Japanese really age well. Heck - you should see a photo of me in 2011. I don't look like someone who will be 47 this year. I can pass for 45.
Anyhow.... the ladies are waiting just inside the doorway of their restaurant clad in their best kimono - and they look fantastic. Young... like they are in their 60's!
They have closed the restaurant to the public for the evening - just so they could serve me (and Naoko - who, aside from being a super nice woman who had no interest in me sexually, was a decent enough English/Japanese translator).
The ladies made their son cook for us - and pretty much had him make everything on the menu. Good. I may be tired and cranky, but I'm also very hungry. Especially when the food is free.
Because of who I am (open), I told these three women all about my personal life. I asked them if they thought I should start dating Japanese women - and without a moment's hesitation, all three said "Hai!" (Yes) Gan batte, kudasai (Do your best!). Naoko, ever the smart one, said: "But not me - we are just friends."
I love her for her friendship and honesty.
So... since we're all friends with food benefits, I decided to ask a question.
I wanted to know their feelings or experiences about World War II. To their credit, these old birds did not really shy away from the question, but noted that they did not really know all that much about it.
How can you not know, I asked.
Simple. They are from inaka (the rural country) and relied on the radio (IE propaganda) for or their information - which they quickly realized wasn't all there was to know about the war.
One of the ladies, however, noted that she liked the Americans - she had been a nurse and had looked after some of the downed fliers, saying that they treated her very well.
Apparently I had guessed reasonably well about their ages.
We snap some photos after our meal - with a bit of sake and beer - and I go home promising to do this again.
Ladies... free food - I'm there.
Excellent company? I'll pay my own way.
I go home and watch television until midnight.
Guess what? I still don't fall asleep. I suppose I didn't try hard enough to get drunk.
Trust me... it takes a lot to get me drunk - and I had no intention of driving this restaurant into bankruptcy. I'd rather be sober and awake.


Somewhere paying my own way,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by the great Arlo Guthrie: THISISTHENAMEOFTHEBLOG.
PS: The whiteness of the ladies' face in the photo was not caused by the flash. They both had a pale complexion unlike most Japanese. It's not a criticism - just an observation.
PPS: I have no idea what their names are. That's why this was such a shameful blog entry. But it was a very nice restaurant!
PPPS: Wait eight hours (this time for sure) for a blog with a link you won't want to miss.

Go Your Own Way

Before we start... it has come to my attention that my blog looks quite differently depending on what type of Internet browser you are using. I create mine on Mozilla Firefox - and when I'm done, it looks perfect to me. When viewed on say Safari or Explorer - aahh, no so perfect. Spacing between paragraphs disappears. Photos are larger or smaller - pushing words into a two-character space... I just wanted to apologize. Sometimes, the different browsers make my blog looks like crap. But it's not my fault. It's yours for using a browser different from mine. Just kidding. I just didn't want you to think I'm a complete incompetent. I'm certainly not a complete one. On with the story:


It's Tuesday, June 4, 1991 and apparently my girlfriend Ashley broke up with me yesterday - which is strange because I swear I broke up with her on March 31.
Apparently guys, it's never over until the woman says it's over.
I haven't slept since Saturday night - I'm sure I have, really, but an hour here or there, tops?
I'm at Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Junior High School) in Ohtawara-shi (city of Ohtawara), Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture) in Japan - about 9 and a half months into my stay. I could have had a kid by now.
School is a complete drag - probably because I let it be so.
All of the kids have questions for me. Here's the type of questions I got today:
"How many girlfriends do I have now?"
None.
"When was you first love?"
August 1 to June 3, Rest in peace.
"Is Ashley-sensei (Ashley teacher) your girlfriend?"
See the answers to the previous two questions.
And it went on and on and on. Every question was a personal question about my love life rather than something about .. oh, I don't know... Canada?!
For the third class of the day, I had to teach it alone. Now despite this school being so wonderful and nice, this particular class was akin to the Hitler Youth. Despite having another teacher there to control the students, she was useless. Students would point to that teachers chest and say "small'. Boys would point to their crotch and say 'big'. There was too much confusion going on and, as you may have gathered from the opening three sentences of this blog, I was in a bad mood.
Later when I had a chance, I told the English teacher, Mrs. Yamamoto, about my current troubles and was very sympathetic - and reciprocated about some of her problems - which I'm not going to repeat here - except that Japanese men can be pigs sometimes.
I get driven home at 4PM and head out to get my hair cut. I have dinner with my friend Matthew at Mosburger - a fast food restaurant chain that has to tasted to believe how good it is! Really. Go to Japan. Go right now and have a Mosburger. I'll wait until you get back.
Back? Good. I think. The rest of the evening is kind of boring.
I go home and do laundry, iron, phone Kristine and tell her almost everything. Truthfully, I didn't tell her why I was looking for her back on my last day in Kobe - and even a few days later, it wouldn't have mattered. Being separated by 500 kilometres is not the way to have a relationship - even a physical one, as I know I'm going to quickly want more than I'm getting. Still... in hindsight, I should have tried harder - or tried. Whatever. No use crying over spilled o-cha (green tea).
Kristine gives me a telephone number for a friend of her's named Rory. I could be wrong (20 years later), but they are either JUST friends, or were once boyfriend/girlfriend... proving that men and women can be friends after breaking up. Personally, I think it's all a trick.
She suggests that perhaps Rory and I should hang out in Tokyo together for a boy's weekend. Okay... what  the heck.
I call up my friend Tim (another AET) who's in Kuroiso about 15 kilomotres north of my town and tell him about Ashley breaking up with me.
He's also confused as he thought I had broken up with her days ago. Still, he, being a good friend, does nothing to bad mouth anybody and instead just opines that 'it's probably for the best.'
Tim tells me that he and Mona and some of her friends are going to Tokyo on the weekend, and we agree to meet.

I watch Knight Rider (a television show about a talking car!!?? - you can view scenes from the 1982 show by clicking on the show's title) until midnight on my bilingual television (it picks up audio signals the station provides in English, or Japanese or both at the same time, depending on what I want).
I read a book until 12:30AM and then lie in my bed until 7AM. No sleep though.

Somewhere having a waking dream of a Mosburger, 
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by Fleetwood Mac: STEVIENICKS
PS: I was asked if Ashley reads this blog. To the best of my knowledge - no. Which isn't surprising because my wife doesn't read this blog. Not only does she fear I am stuck in the 1990s (1991, actually), but she seems to think she and Ashley look quite similar. My 40-something wife looks like 22 year-old Ashley? Yes - there is some resemblance,I suppose, but I only noticed that when she pointed it out.  Same coloured hair, I think. Both Sagitarius'. Same complexion, two legs, two arms, a head, same bo--...  y'know... I'm going to quit while I'm ahead and still have a head. But, to allay her fears I had to find a more recent photo of Ashley on the web. My wife is satisfied that they don't look alike or similar even. My wife still doesn't read my blog.
PPS: It's why I feel confident in writing that last paragraph. Hee-hee. 
PPPS: My brother or father don't read my blog. Who the heck is? How did we get over 3000 visits last month? I know... because it's fun AND factual! Thanks to all the readers! Now... if only someone could tell me how I can make money doing this!
PPPPS: Another blog appearing in eight (8) hours - about the nuclear reactor workers. 

F.I.N.E.

Hello...  I just wanted to say thank you to all my loyal readers. We had 3,174 visits to this site in the month of March - the highest yet by 1,000 plus. I guess all I needed were a few disasters to happen. With that in mind, read on... 

I hope you'll excuse the expletive in the title, but I call'em like I see'em. I'll explain the title in a minute.
It's Monday, June 3, 1991. I'm back in Ohtawara-shi after a few days of fun in the sun (anger and depression in the rain) of Kobe-shi, where I told my girlfriend Ashley I've had enough and want to end our relationship.
Trust me... despite mild language in these blogs, my knowledge and usage of cuss-words could embarrass a sailor and a Catholic school girl combined (which would probably be against the law) - but I probably worded the break-up in a more expletive-filled tirade.
Still, the next day or two after breaking up, she and I spend a lot of time together and seem to get along fine, which leaves me wondering if she realizes we broke up even though I'm pretty sure I know she knows.
Today I get to visit Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Junior High School), one of the seven middle schools I teach at four days a week in this relatively rural city oh Ohtawara.
There's a new English teacher at this school - where the students are all very sweet - mostly farmer's kids I believe). The teacher's is Mrs. Yamamoto, who's nice, speaks well and has no real teaching plan. I love it.
We play games and essentially allow the students have a good time in English class. But... I have no idea what her given name is.
However, despite the good time in class, my mind is often elsewhere. I'm not feeling right and am alone (girlfriend-wise) for the first time in Japan.
I have to admit I'm actually scared now.
But I still think Ashley doesn't understand that I broke up with her - so I think I'm going to have to re-affirm it with her. But, if she really doesn't want us to be apart as a couple, maybe I should just suggest we take a couple of weeks off from each other? What do you think? 
"NO! NO!" I hear you readers scream. But, despite the bravado, I am afraid of not having a girlfriend, as it took me nearly 26 years to find a woman who would sleep with me.... so why would I want to lose any woman as gullible as that? 
Coincidentally, I seem to have forgotten about all of the other women I have slept with since hitting Japan... I think I'm up to four other women... and these occurred in the instances when Ashley broke up with me the numerous times since - I think October of 1990 was the first big one.Each break-up only lasted a day or two... and in each instance, these women sought me out. 
Why did I not remember that? I wrote everything down in a friggin' diary, which is how I'm able to write stuff for you know 20 years later. I must have been whipped. Not really, but even some is better than none.
I decide that as soon as I get home from work/school, I'll call Ashley and tell her we need a couple of weeks apart - to see if we need to continue with our relationship. That way more women can enjoy my company.
Man, I have a big... ego.
When I get home, I have an 'uh-oh' moment as I notice her bicycle parked in the lot. She's not supposed to be here. Should I have sent her a memo?
It's raining. Of course. Land of the rising sun, my butt!
I go up to the apartment on the third floor, enter and see no shoes in the hall. In Japan, it's proper manners to take your shoes off when entering someone's home, and to wear ugly floppy slippers that will fit no one.
I remove my coat and shoes and enter my living room... she's curled up on my sofa, feet up and wearing her wet shoes, sitting in the dark with the drapes closed. I keep the drapes closed usually so as not to overheat my apartment from the sun (but it's always raining, so I have no idea why I close the drapes).
I say "Hi!" and lean over to kiss her, but she ducks her head down so I get nothing but limp, wet brown hair in my open mouth.
I ask her how she's doing.
She says "Fine."
Guys... when a woman uses the word 'fine' to describe an emotion... you are screwed. It's: "fxxked-up, insecure, neurotic and emotional" - f.i.n.e. Hence the title of the blog entry.
Since she's being non-communicative, I tell her I'm going to bring my laundry in from outside - as I think the constant rain may have left my clothes a tad wet. That gets her attention, and she blurts out that we need to have a talk. A serious one.
Ooooh. I'm scared, I think in a very arrogant manner.
In a sarcastic voice I say: "Why? Do you want to break-up?"
"Yes!", she screams.
It's pretty much a blur from then on... but hindsight being 20/20, I did break up with her a few days ago in Kobe, didn't I? So why is she breaking up with me now? Did me accompanying her to Mayuko's place mean we were back? There was no intimacy at all!
F.I.N.E.
My telephone rings and hangs up in four bells. It must be Matthew. Thanks... I needed a notice that the first round of this fight was over.
Second Round: She says she's been thinking about it for a long time.
Ha. Me, too, but I don't say that.
She says she's not in love with me anymore.
Owtch. But didn't I break up with her... ahhh, you know what I mean... How can someone break up with you if you have already broken up with them?
She's already brought back my borrowed video tapes and spare key to my apartment, and my blue jeans. Why the heck would I leave a pair of jeans at her place? Her place isn't that comfortable... it's why she spends the nights at my place. Those are my jeans, but there's no way in heck I'd leave a pair of pants at her place. I mean, what would I have worn on my bike ride home?!
She must have borrowed a pair of mine... but unfortunately, that's one mystery I'll never get resolved.
Anyhow, forgetting that I had already broken up with her, I tell her about my separation plan.... desperation breeds tiny monsters, folks. I tell her I'm still in love with her. (Where the hell did that come from?)
She says she now only thinks of me as a friend.
I say I think she was only my friend because I loved her. Now that love is only a one-way street, do I still need her as a friend?
In response, she asks if I am going to call Matthew back.
Yes, I say... as soon as you leave.
To hit that point home, I pick up the phone and begin dialing.
I turn my back as she slowly leaves my place. The front door opens and is closed gently... meaning she had to slow it down as the door likes to slam itself shut.
We don't look at each other.
It's complete.
It's over.
Matthew isn't picking up the damn phone. Maybe he didn't call - this was in the years before call display.
At night school, where I make a few extra bucks teaching adults (Matthew does the same, teaching a more advanced class), I have to say good-bye to a real nice lady student who's moving to Ibaraki-ken (province of Ibaraki). She wants me to write and phone her. I will. And hope her husband doesn't mind.
I'm single.
After school, I go for a coffee with her. You can read more about that woman HERE. In the car ride over to the coffee shop, she tells me that her nickname is Rain Woman because it rains whenever she travels. Bizarre. Me, too. I tell her people have been calling me Rain Man (Ame Otoko) ever since I arrived in Japan.
It gets a giggle, a hand squeeze and a peck on the cheek - nothing sexual.
Oh yeah... Naoko, a Japanese lady friend and I are invited to dinner by two of my oldest students, who supposedly own a really famous restaurant here in Ohtawara.
Famous restaurant? I've never heard of it - but the offer of free food get's my attention. I'm in!
I go home and sit in my darkened apartment in stunned silence as lightning flashes and thunder rumbles over head in a symphony of cacophony.
I'm tired, but don't go to bed until 1AM.
But, for the second night in a row, I don't fall asleep.

Somewhere not snoring,
Andrew Joseph 
Today's blog title is by Aerosmith: Listen to it HERE.
PS: She only thinks of me as a friend? Why would I need a friend like that? I have plenty of interesting friends I haven't met yet who will have sex with me. That's what I tell myself, believe it or not. Despite my fears of being alone, I seem to have a conflict of emotions as I have a lot of self-confidence. Or am I just going crazy? No... I'm f.i.n.e. 
PS: There's another blog coming in eight (8) hours time that is unrelated to this ongoing descent into self-induced (?) madness. It's about Earthquakes and Volcanoes! Be here or don't learn anything new today!

Yer Blues

Noriko is beside the woman with the striped dress.

So... what's like being a  woman in Japan? How the heck would I know? I'm a man and I treated the country like it was my own private Disneyland going on as many rides as possible - some more than once.

Now, despite that rather bold pronouncement, I didn't take advantage of anyone. Well, I did for sex, but in 100% of the times, it was mutual. There were bragging rights for me, just as it was for every Japanese woman to know they had slept with me or any foreigner.

Okay... I'm just guessing about what drew all of those women to me. As far as the foreign women went, I was one of the few non-Japanese guys who wanted to sleep with them - and was at least taller than them.

But I'm getting off... topic, that is. I wanted to introduce you to my superb Japanese girlfriend Nobuko Kikuchi who worked along side me at Nozaki Chu Gakko (Nozaki Junior High School) in Ohtawara-shi (City of Ohtawara), Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), Japan while I taught as an Assistant English Teacher on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme.

As well, I'd like to introduce you to Noriko Ishihara, a beautiful woman who worked alongside of me at Nozaki Chu... hmm... just add the remainder of the previous sentence to here.

I never slept with Noriko... though I suppose I did want to. She was tall - maybe 5'-8", sharp-tongue, highly intelligent, a great, soft-spoken English teacher who treated me very, very well. We were friends. It was her being transferred to Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Junior High School), that opened the door for Nobuko to be hired on at Nozaki back in April of 1993.

I've told you and told you numerous times that Nozaki (No-Chu) was a fantastic school!

Briefly about Nobuko. She's 5'-1" (maybe), delicate features, a sharp tongue and highly intelligent. She was a strong teacher - at least when I was with her  - and she was full of confidence. And, I loved her very much - enough become engaged with each other. She was full of confidence with her students and with myself - but that would evaporate whenever her parents were involved.

I met her parents a few times. I brought her mom flowers and her dad a very expensive bottle of whiskey. I also brought flowers for Nobuko. They cooked dinner     for me - and we had a great time. And here's why. The folks did not speak English and everything was translated by Nobuko for them. As such, they had no clue Nobuko and I were boyfriend/girlfriend or later were even engaged - despite the addition of jewelry on her fingers. Personally, I think they knew.

I wanted her to tell her parents - but she was afraid. I wanted Nobuko to at least come with me to Toronto (when it was time for me to complete my three years on the JET Programme) and vacation there for a month - to see if she could handle me and the country - to see if we could be ourselves, together.

She couldn't because she had no idea how to tell her parents anything. She was daddy's little girl, and would do nothing to embarrass him.

Nobuko and I - 1st meeting (yeesh)... I think my wife has hidden all of her photos!

Dad was the head of the junior high school vice-principals in the northern area of Tochigi-ken - and as such held a fairly important position in the Education sector. Because of that position, it would have been an embarrassment if it ever came out that his beautiful daughter, Nobuko, was dating me - a foreigner. Because dating means having sex - which is incorrect, but in this case it was correct a couple of times a day. Sometimes even more. Having one's daughter date a foreigner was a way for him to lose face. It didn't matter that I was a great guy and that I had friends up and down the Education Ministry, and that teachers, students and parents liked and respected me. It was the fact that I was despoiling his virgin daughter... and forgive me, but she wasn't a virgin when we met.

It was sad, but our relationship ended because she chose her father over me. And while I wish her much happiness with whoever took my place, I still feel cheated. To be honest, it rejection ticked me off - but I did understand. The better man had won.

Noriko - she was in love with a foreigner from New Zealand. They met when she travelled down there on vacation. He must have really swept her of her feet, because the romance continued over the telephone and mail for a couple of years.

Here was someone who actually killed two years of her life waiting for someone to come and visit her in Japan - but he never did. She didn't know how to tell her parents about John, and except for a couple of girlfriends, she had no one to confide in. Speaking to me in English so no one would understand, she explained about how in love she was, and asked what she should do about it.

I said that if the love is meant to be, it will find a way. But, that you should set a time limit - so as to not waste the rest of your life waiting for someone or something that may never happen.

She accepted that, and set an ultimatum for John, that sadly passed. You dumb bastard, John... you let a good one get away. Noriko tried, and you didn't.

Now... of course, all of this with Noriko and John happened BEFORE I met Nobuko.

When I went home, unable to convince Nobuko to come and visit with me in Toronto, I made arrangements to fly back to Japan and stay with a friend and fellow AET Colin McKay of Calgary. He allowed me to stay at his place for a month. Nobuko... she wasn't working that fall, and she and I spent every waking hour together, sometimes three or four times a day until Colin would come home from teaching at the Kuroiso Boys High School (Kuroiso Dai Gakko). Incidentally, Kuroiso-shi (City of Kuroiso) is where Nobuko lived with her parents. She had moved out years ago, and like in both Osaka and Tokyo, and after the few months of teaching at No-chu, she was studying for a civil service exam.

Anyhow, after the blissful month with Nobuko passed and it was time for me to go home again - alone again - I told her I wouldn't give up on her until I knew she had given up on me.

Trouble is, she wouldn't give up on me, despite her inability to tell her parents about our love or her ability to come and visit me. She was scared. What would she tell her parents? She was coming to visit me? Then everyone would know we were a couple!

People... I tried and tried to reason with Nobuko for nearly a year... and after my mother passed away a year after returning (the day before Nobuko's birthday), I knew I had to release Nobuko from my burden. We had to free each other.

I told her I loved her, but it was obvious that neither of us could live in the other's country forever. It was heartbreaking, but I know we both were able to move on. No regrets - at least I didn't, and was thankful for the time we had together.

Somewhere wondering if John and Nobuko regret not trying hard enough,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is by The Beatles. It's powerful. I love it. YOUKNOWTHEREASONWHY

The Birds And The Bees

Let me tell you 'bout Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Middle/Junior High School).
The second time I visited this jewel of a place was on December 3, 1990. Every week I visit one of the seven schools from Monday through Thursday - spending more time at the big schools like Ohtawara Chu Gakko aka Dai Chu (Big Junior), Wakausa or Nozaki than I do at the smaller schools like Sakuyama or Chikasono. Kaneda Kita (North) and Kaneda Minami are considered to be mid-sized schools.
The main English teacher at Kaneda Minami is Hayakawa-sensei. He's got a great dry wit, and I enjoy chatting with him very much.
I only have three classes to teach on the Monday - and five more all week - because the kids have exams. Unlike a lot of other schools, I actually do some team-teaching - and it feels like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing here in Japan.
School lunch is the infamous rotting soy beans called natto. For the first time ever, I eat it and don't even make much of a fuss. I'm told by one of the students that I am no longer a gaijin (outsider) but am now a Nihonjin (Japanese).
Hunh... and all I had to do was eat natto!
Tuesday... I have two classes. All I do is read questions to them for their exams. It takes 15 minutes - and then they study. One of the classes is a third-year-class - they seem totally nervous about tomorrow's exam, and well, who can blame them?
After lunch while I'm sitting in the teacher's office, two girls drag their friend up to me saying that she loves me. What, I ask. Love you, they repeat. They then spell it out in English letters with their bodies contorting all over the place. Cute. They said all three of them want me to be their boyfriend. What would Jesus do?
Since I'm not Jesus, I said sure. I mean, why not? It's all a joke, right? I probably won't have to do anything except treat them nice which I would have done anyways. As expected, they giggle a lot and run away.
Later they come back and invite me to come and watch their volleyball club after school. It's fun and I think I wreck their club activity by spending too much time talking to them all. Only girls - boys don't play volleyball in Japan. At least I've never seen any who do.
The important thing is that they are speaking in English and are doing a fantastic job of it. Obviously I've only been here to this school on one other occasion so I can't take ANY credit for this - until the Principal finds me and tells me that all of the kids in school have shown terrific improvement since I first visited, as all of them wanted to learn better English to communicate with me. Shucks. I guess I have made a difference - and hopefully years from now I will re-read this diary entry and know that I didn't waste my time in Japan.
So, what is it with this school? Why have they gone An-do-ryu crazy? Are all of these girls hot to trot after me? Why weren't they in my school when I was a kid? Oh yeah, because they were two years-old.
At home I talk to Kristine for two hours. We talk about nothing and everything. I wish she was here now.
They next day it's cold so I sleep in 15 extra minutes. I only have one class to teach, so I end up writing six letters to friends back home. Why does no one have e-mail or the Internet over here? I hear it's something people are just starting to use back in Canada! Japan may be a technologically savvy country, but it hasn't trickled down to Ohtawara yet.

At lunch I eat with a third-year class (my girlfriend's - see photo to the right - Noriko, Rei & Yuka - I taught them to do the thumb's-up instead of the typical vee-sign the Japanese always do in photos)) who specifically requested me. All of the 14 girls stare at me longingly and blush when I glance at them. It's wonderful to be someone's fantasy. And, although the Kristine of 2010 has no recollection, she also said it to me last night in 1990. So, I've stolen her line.
Because this week is just after a team-teaching AET (assistant English teaching) seminar which prior to leaving for, Ashley broke up with me, and I hooked up with a woman from Edmonton - named Christine, my mood is light, to say the least.
Break up with someone, travel that same day to another province and hook up with another woman. I love this country.
Now, along with the Christine hook-up, and the Kristine telephone dial-up, and all of the hung-up female students at Kaneda South (also Kristine's last name - South, that is), somebody is trying to tell me something.
Wednesday has a flu-riddled Ashley come over (she thinks we have kyudo (archery) today, but I accidentally on purpose neglected to tell her it was canceled. Yes, I'm an immature piece of crap. But, I did want to see her - which is why Kristine always said she would have dated me if I wasn't so screwed up over Ashley.
Bang.
Sorry... I just shot myself in the foot.
Bang.
Both feet.
Anyhow, on Thursday, I check out a teaching demonstration on the use of computers in the classroom. It's really quite cool and I can see this being an integral part of class rooms perhaps by the year 2000.
Having never entered a school since 1996, I have no idea if this has come to pass or not!
Thursday night there is a school party for the teachers which I am invited to. The enkai (party) is a real blast. I eat basahi (raw horse meat!) and ikka kuchi (squid mouth), drink lots of beer and have 12 shots of sake (rice wine). I know I'm hammered, but when Miss Akemi (Ch/Kristine) Takita (the volleyball coach) comes over to pour me a glass of sake, she says I'm a nice guy - and that she's a nice girl - and that all of the other teachers are acting like sukebe's (perverts). She has no idea who she is talking too.
After the party ends, some of us (her, too) go to another bar near my apartment (all of Ohtawara's bars are near my apartment) for karaoke, dancing and drinking, but not necessarily in that order. Akemi is playing grabby leg with me, so when she says let's go, we head back to my place.
She spends a couple of hours with me ensuring that I realize just what a freaking wonderful country this is.
After she leaves at 10:30PM (I told you they like to party to the wee hours of the evening!), ten minutes later Christine calls telling me she's coming from Saitama-ken (province of Saitama) tomorrow to see me.

Somewhere you can't make up stuff this good,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title, sung by Jewel Akens, can be seen and heard HERE.
PS - As of now, this feels like the best week ever  - and it still ain't over yet. I still have to tell you about Friday, Saturday and Sunday! All this is good even though all of my plans to go to Thailand with Tim Mould have fallen through - Ashley is going, though, and while I'm not happy about not going anywhere for Christmas vacation, I'll get over it. Read THIS old blog to see how that went.
PPS: I know... not the photograph you are expecting, but this is my favourite photo of Kaneda Minami... it's just outside the entrance of the school and has a female student (a girlfriend) walking home alone along the road.