Monday, June 10, 1991.
I'm a single guy living in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, Japan. Excluding two days in Tokyo when I first arrived in this country, and the past week (or so), I have had a girlfriend or a reasonable facsimile. I did make-out with a woman a couple of days ago, but there was no horizontal mambo involved, so it doesn't count.
I'm visiting Sakuyama Chu Gakko (Sakuyama Junior High School) in the southern part of Ohtawara-shi. It's a very pleasant school. Decent enough kids - a great teacher - Sekiya-sensei (sensei = teacher) - who is a mom as well as an English teacher - and has the most patience I've ever seen in a person. I'll never be like that. Why can't I have patience like that now. I want it now! Now! Now!!
Classes are boring. Okay. Not really. I just have a lot of them. I visit four classes and thus, no time to relax.
One of the kids, Tomahiro, pulls out a Rhinoceros Beetle to show off to me. Now I may look like a man, smell like a man and drink like a man, but when it comes to insects, I am not a man.
He holds this enormous moving thing on the palm of his right hand and holds it close to me.
I take two steps back.
He moves two steps closer.
I take two steps back.
I've shown fear - it's the worst thing you can do as a teacher - especially a gaijin (foreigner) teacher to a bunch of 12, 13 and 14 year-olds.
All of a sudden, every single stinking boy in the class has reached into a pocket and pulled out their own rhino beetle and has stood up and marched right in front of me.
I scream like a little girl. No that's not true. That's insulting to little girls who have more courage than me. I scream like only I can and try to curl up in the fetal position as these boys thrust their horned beetle at me.
Yes... it sounds just as bad as I write it. I'm sure they were getting off on torturing me. Bastards.
They embarrass me in front of the very cute student teacher Miss Mori. She is so cute - 5-1", silky black hair chopped evenly at her jawline. Tasteful, but tight clothing. And single. Oh, so very single. Hey! Me, too!
But... I think I blew a sure thing by acting like a little gi-... I mean like a wimp in front of her.
Looks like it's going to be onani tonight. Visit HERE to get a better grip on what I mean.
As Sekiya-sensei pulls the students away from me and I get up, the school bell rings. I can't even look at Miss Mori as I head back to the teacher's lounge.
After getting home at 5:30, I eat and go out to teach a night school class.
I go home. I relax.
I get some sleep, punctuated by fearful attacks by exo-skelton creatures.
Somewhere within my head,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is crawling all over me by The Beatles, of course. Slow song for a SLOWDAY.
