Showing posts with label Japanese Boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Japanese Boys. Show all posts

How Japanese Children Were Smarter Than The Wright Brothers


A couple of weeks ago (August 25, 2011) I hopefully taught you all something about Japan's aviation pioneer Ninomiya Chuhachi (surname first). You can read that story HERE

Despite the length of the article, I only really delved into his attempts at flight.

At this time, I want to discuss how all Japanese children were was smarter than the Wright Brothers who were the first to create a heavier-than-air (airplane or aeroplane - I actually like this old style spelling!) craft. And, the Wright Brother's were pretty damn smart!

It all comes down to being screwed. Or rather a screw, as in propellers - an underrated component in the race to build a functional air craft!

The Wright Brothers and Ninomiya had different ideas - polar opposites, if you will, on the size and rotational speed of propellers - and believe it or not, a self-taught Japanese man got the physics right.

Orville and Wilbur Wright preferred to utilize two slow-spinning propellers, which they derived from their bicycle building profession. Essentially, they geared down the engine shaft speed with a bicycle chain to drive each propeller. Photos of the Wright Flyer show a larger heavy sprocket on each propeller which caused a reduction in spin and thus in sped.

Our man Ninomiya - well, through independent study, he arrived at a different conclusion... though both he and the Wright Brothers did not know of the other's findings.

Always the inquisitive lad, Ninomiya checked out the foreign ships that had only recently begun to legally enter Japanese ports again after a 300 year ban. In 1883, when he was 16, Ninomiya would row out to anchored ships off the island of Shikoku where he lived. It was there that he got his first look at the propellers that helped move the ships - and he drew diagrams of every single one he could spot... and then he made miniature models of each.

It was these models which helped Ninomiya learn about the principles of flight, as he continually redesigned these models to get what he considered a perfect propeller.

The Japanese have a small wooden toy called a taketombo (bamboo dragonfly) that is essentially a propeller on a stick that one places between the palms and then by sliding the hands quickly, flight of the taketombo is achieved.

Taketombo - bamboo propeller toy
It's pretty cool, and I had one when I was living in Japan - a gift from a student at Ichinosawa Primary School in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, Japan. It was stepped on by my dog one day, and it broke, which is too bad because I think my son and I could have a few laughs with it now. I'll have to find one somewhere!

While it was in inexpensive gift (maybe) for the child who gave it to me, back when Ninomiya was young, he had to make his own taketombo by carving his own bamboo with a borrowed knife. The goal, of course, was to make the best flying taketombo ever - to fly longer and higher than everyone else!

By learning what propeller shape to weigh ration, along with propeller speed (slide of the hand), Japanese children everywhere learned the aeronautical relationship between propeller pitch, propeller size and propeller speed and how subtle differences can make the difference in a good flight or a great one. Here's a slow-motion video of one in flight HERE.

That is what the Wright Brothers did not know. In fact, most pioneer aviation designers failed to recognize the aeronautical skills tiny Japanese kids learned years previous - that you get better propulsion - a more efficient propeller - from shorter, faster turning blades.

And this is what Ninomiya applied to his airplane models.

Some other achievements of Ninomiya includes his taxi system for aircraft. When he was 22 years of age back in 1888 - some 20 years before the Wright Brothers achieved flight, Ninomiya saw his first bicycle in Japan. After a single ride (and how wobbly it was) he realized a pair of bike tires on a plane would not work, and that for great stability, two on the wings and one on the nose would work. Check out an airplane today. Essentially wheels on the wing and one on the nose.

Ninomiya also tested wind resistance by creating a wind tunnel back in 1891. Okay, not really. What he did was continually jump off a bridge into a river while holding an umbrella. By holding the open umbrella at different angles, he studied how air was captured and helped keep him aloft (if even for a brief moment).

On April 29, 1891, Ninomiya finished his first model airplane that he called Karasu (the Crow), as these birds had first taught him the best way to fly - with rigid wings. You really should have read my earlier article. Regardless, he painted a crow's head on the front of his model.

So: The Karasu MODEL was a single-wing plane (monoplane) with a dihedral wing (upward wing angle - an angle determined from his umbrella bridge jumping) and a 45 centimeter wingspan. It used a rubber band motor that powered a four-blade pusher propeller (the propeller sits behind the engine) was built of bamboo.

That first flight achieved a distance of 10 meters, and 36 meters the next day... both times landing unharmed on the model's tricycle wheel system.

For a man-made flight, Ninomiya was no dummy. He knew a rubberband wasn't going to cut it. A fuel powered engine would be needed.

For his new Tamamushi (Jewel Beetle) model, he designed it to fit a 12-horsepower motorcycle engine. And... just so you know, current aeronautical engineers say that the plane's design was just perfect for that particular horsepower. Unfortunately, motorcycle engines were few and far between in Japan... so he needed to purchase one from elsewhere... and while saving up money for it, he discovered that the Wright Brothers had beaten him to the punch.

Still, perhaps he could have enjoyed some smug satisfaction in knowing that he - and the rest of Japan's children - were smarter than the Wright Brothers on the construction of a better propeller - and all thanks to a simple toy called a taketombo.

Files compiled by Andrew Joseph

Big In Japan


Today is Tuesday, October 8, 1991.



I'm an assistant English teacher (AET) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme living in the sleepy city of Ohtawara (about 200 kilometres north of Tokyo) in the prefecture of Tochigi, Japan.



It's my last day of work at Ohtawara Chu Gakko (Ohtawara Junior High School), as I have permission to attend a team-teaching demonstration put on by my friend Matthew tomorrow, and then on Thursday, I'm on a short vacation to Sendai with my ex-girlfriend, but current friend-with-benefits, Ashley.



I have no idea why we are going away on a vacation together. It was her idea. As mentioned, while I can have a dominant personality and can get lots of people to do what I want, I prefer that they decide what they want to do, and if I agree, then I can get everyone else to do it. Control without being the known leader, I suppose. God I hate being introspective, sometimes.



Or, in this case... Ashley asked, I, like a good little puppy dog who is still in love or lust or severe like with her, readily agrees. I assume there will be sex. After all... we're friends - with benefits... and the only important benefit I know of from being anywhere with one's ex-girlfriend, is sex.



Going on a vacation together with someone who is your ex... well, isn't that what couples do... or just friends... not friends-with-benefits!



If I still had any blood left in my brain, I would have not gone with Ashley tomorrow... but I'm thinking about sex, and I'm thinking that her asking me to accompany her means she wants to get back together. Right? Am I right? I'm not sure...



It's still raining today.   Like yesterday, I help the kids with some English listening comprehension tests to help them prepare for a big exam. It's still fun, and it's still very much interesting to me.



However, lunch is quiet as the class I eat with lacks the guts or gumption to talk to me... although one young boy (this is a 3rd year class - Grade 9's), Suzuki-san is always peppering me with interesting questions. He's always a pleasure to talk to at this school...



Kanemaru-san and Hanazaki-san drop by the school while Suzuki-san and I are talking (that's lucky... show's I can talk to the kids!). Those two old guys (who are about as old as I am now in 2011 - 46), are my bosses/supervisors with the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education). Two nicer men I have yet to meet on this planet.



They bring along (from the teacher's lounge), Shibata-sensei, the young, hip, good-looking English teacher  who has all the female students swooning after him. Along with being brilliant and charming and funny, Shibata-sensei is also one heck of a good English speaker and very quick translator.



I'm telling... I got very lucky to be posted - or chosen - in this city. Actually... I think the Board offices get a say on who they want. I think Hanazaki-san once told me that they liked the fact I was a journalist with the Toronto Star newspaper... one of North America's best newspapers. I'll admit it was a selling point.



The three of them tell me that I have to pay a personal and city tax. Nertz.



On the plus side, the OBOE says they will cover that for me. They will put the money directly into my bank account (The Ashikaga Ginko (Ashikaga Bank), Ohtawara Branch) for me. That money will then be withdrawn by them to pay the two tax bills.



That is so cool of the OBOE. I also like how they came in person to tell me, rather than just calling up Shibata-sensei to tell me.



I go home, write a letter and relax. It's still bloody raining. I hope it won't tomorrow when a score of other AETs will be coming here to Ohtawara to watch Matthew do his team-teaching demonstration. Cripes... I hope my OBOE doesn't see too much of a disparity between what he does and what I does... otherwise they might actually make me do real work!



I watch some television and crash to bed at 12AM.



Oh... Karen Irwin called. She's a new AET (high school AET like Ashley - so she won't be there at Matthews demo) living in Yaita-shi (City of Yaita), 10 kiometers to the south. She's originally from North Bay, Ont... and arrived here two months ago. In that time she has made it clear that she would like us to slow down (IE no sex!), became buddy-buddy with my visiting mother going on little trips together, and even went on a 3-day trip to Nikko-shi (Nikko City) with Ashley.



I don't know what they talked about... the ex, and the girl who would eventually be my ex, if I let her (all women everywhere could eventually be my ex-girlfriend if they try hard enough).... but this evening... it is apparent that they talked.



Karen seemed to know a little too much about me. My mother - while she did like Karen very much - was no dummy, and I know she would never tell anyone anything about me. Ashley... she might, seeing as who we weren't together anymore... I expect that Karen would want to know the ugly stuff. Me being moody and crap like that. Truth is... I was only moody after Ashley caused me to be moody. But Ashley doesn't know that... and neither does Karen.



Karen attempts to psychoanalyse me. Really? This chick is going to try and get inside MY head? I'm already onto her clumsy attempts about 15 seconds into our telephone conversation! For me... this is like a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.



Because I know what she's doing - and why (she wants to know what makes me tick, and why Ashley and I broke up - perhaps so she can avoid the same mistakes), she pisses me off.



You know what led to Ashley and I breaking up? It was her pissing me off. Congratulations Karen. You've managed to piss me off even before we've become boyfriend/girlfriend. I guess there'll be no sex, now. Crap.



Regardless of the tempest raging inside my skull... I play it cagey and play it cool. She has no idea just how angry I am.



It's the real reason why I go to bed early today. I lie there and wonder...



Okay... Ashley came back from her trip to Nikko with Karen in a bitchy mood. Karen is acting inquisitive towards me. That means that Ashley knows Karen and I made out. It also means she knows Karen wants to go out with me... and if I know Karen, she probably asked Ashley if that was okay.



That probably put Ashley in a bad mood. It could also explain why Ashley suddenly asked me if I wanted to accompany her to Sendai... it's a little jealous revenge thing against Karen... who I don't think knows that Ashley and I are still sleeping together on occasion.



Great... all I need now are more women to start talking with each other about. That could never happen, right? Am I right? Even I don't want to think about the real answer.



Somewhere thinking about tomorrow and tomorrow,

Andrew Joseph

Today's blog title is by Alphaville: BIG  Lyrics are right below the video.

Mr. Brightside

Okay... maybe I lied at the end of my blog yesterday. I actually got a good night's sleep. Hardly the sleep of angels, but I do get enough... but I still feel like it's not enough.

It's Wednesday, September 4, 1991 and I'm in my 13th month of living here on the small city of Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), Japan. I'm an assistant English teacher on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme.

You know.. regular readers must be bored with me writing out that last paragraph for all of my articles... but you try writing it out every single day! I do it in case someone new comes along - and believe me, despite the few number of followers, there are quite a few people who find us accidentally and follow along themselves. How else to explain why we get around 6,000 hits a month. It's not going viral, but it shows that one can build an audience with charming, intelligent articles. And that you can do it the opposite way to, like I have done.  

I'm at Nozaki Chu Gakko (Nozaki Junior High School), one of the seven schools I team-teach at for four days a week (a fifth day is spent at the OBOE - what I call the Ohtawara Board of Education office). Though I only have two classes today, school is very long... a by-product of feeling tired, I suppose... or perhaps just realizing that every kid is looking forward to this weekend's Sports Festival.

After the second class (strangely enough in the second period), all the kids head outside to practice for the festival. It's 10:30AM and it's already 31 Celsius and humid.

But, rather than practice sports (it is a sports festival!), they practice dancing... they do a traditional Ohtawara dance that is old fashioned and means a lot more to old folks and gaijin (foreigners) than it probably does to these poor kids.

Since there are about 50 more boys than girls, the boys are forced to dance together. One of the teachers (who shall remain nameless) winked at me and called it an okama dance... an English translation would involve a more harsh term for 'homosexual'. Regardless of the lack of political correctness (and he did say it as a friend rather than a s a fellow teacher), I call it the 'laughing dance' as I am laughing my butt off! It's not because of any one looking gay, it's because of the reaction of these boys.

Let's take a look at life in 1991 in Japan. Homosexuality in Japan is completely frowned upon. AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) was not something that Japanese people got—it was a sicko perversion brought to Japan by gaijin. This was what numerous people told me when I asked them about homosexuality et al.

Back in the early 1980's, I worked as a summer student with the Ontario Ministry of Housing working the frontline as people looked for government-assisted housing. Along with the so-called poor and needy, we also had battered women, as well as those who were sick... many with AIDS. I've not been afraid to help anyone who needs help, and I know back in 1987 or whenever it was, a person with AIDS was looked upon like a leper (but 10 times worse). These poor men (and in all instances at that time, the people who had AIDS that I met were men) always seemed surprised that I didn't seem afraid to shake their hand or that I as a then 22-year-old could treat them with the respect than any human being deserves.

Why am I explaining all this... well, I don't want you to think I'm an insensitive clod. I'm not a hypocrite. I treat everyone the same, and that is how I want to be treated myself.

These boys were afraid to touch each other's hands. It was funny, because the teachers knew this and didn't care. They were going to step up and toe the line and dance with another male, because that's what they had to do.

They were slapping each other like Japanese Stooges, calling each other knuckleheads and other nonsensical names. They were acting like kids... and I have to admit that sometimes that is great to see. Japanese schools can be so strict and regimented that it isn't really a fun place to be (at least in my own opinion - maybe they feel differently). After several minutes of refusing to touch each other's hands, one of the older kids—and obvious star athlete in baseball—tells them all to stop screwing around and to let's just do this! This kid will be a leader in enterprise someday!

So... guess what music they are dancing to? "Turkey in the Straw"; "Anchor's Away "(which would have been even more funny if they were wearing the dress uniforms... you  know...  the one's based on the naval sailor suits!).

Those songs were why I was busting a gut laughing! That wasn't for my benefit was it?! I hope not! But why those old grey mare songs? This is for Sports Day... surely there must be something better than Turkey In The Straw!

Lunch is another diet. It's not that I'm not hungry - I am... it's just that I am not afforded enough time to eat. I eat my lunch with the 3-3 class (class three of Year 3), a group of mostly 14- and 15-year-olds.

They all seem to speak excellent English. Any worries I had for the future of Japan were quickly dispelled by this class. The sports leader was also in this particular class.

Two of the boys (whom are not afraid to say that they think of me as a friend) sit beside me and talk non-stop throughout lunch. That's cool. That's what I am in Japan for. English and internationalization.
The son of one of the OBOE ladies asks me how tall I am and then how he can get to be so tall. Geez. Tough question considering genetics plays a huge role in this. I tell him to drink lots of milk and to exercise - things that can encourage growth. He says he does weights, and since I have done some (not a lot) I would start doing weights a lot between 1994 - 1999 back in Canada), I offer him advice and add that he should develop his core muscles (stomach et al) and his shoulders. As well, one can't walk around all muscle bound with the upper body, or you'll look like a chicken, with rooster legs. It's a total package, alternating between upper body and lower body, switching off on the days he exercises.

I go outside again and bake in the sun while I chat with Miss Funami ( a cutie teacher) and then either fall asleep or pass out from the heat that must be up around 38 Celsius. The nap kills my enthusiasm for the rest of the day. Heat stroke or something like that.

I go home, wolf my dinner and get ready for kyudo (Japanese archery). Ashley wants to come this week. I am unsure why she has chosen to come this week - whether it was for the actual sport or for my company, or is it just to learn something Japanese. Ashley, my ex-girlfriend, is a boys high school AET here in Ohtawara. All of her students know I am or was dating her, though Ashley likes to tell people she and I were just friends. Whether they believe her or me—well, I can't answer that. I'm pretty sure they believe the guy who talks to them about sex and who has never shied away from answering any question they have ever asked of me. Sorry Ashley.

At kyudo, because I am entering a contest this weekend, I am asked to put on some of the official archery clothing. It's some very fanciful pants and top, and if I didn't feel Japanese, I felt like one now... just one who was melting in the heat.

My actually archery is okay form-wise, but I am not hitting any targets, as I guess I am not pulling my right arm (and bowstring) back enough. I am shooting too low.

Because Ashley hasn't been to archery in a couple of months, I end up showing her what to do. Guess who hits the target? I effing hate her sometimes. With that hit, Kanemaru-san (one of my bosses at the OBOE and our kyudo teacher) asks Ashley to join the tournament this weekend.

(2011 editorial aside. I was 26-years-old at the time of this archery event, and still pretty childish. 2011 editorial aside over.)

This was my tournament! I'm not please. This was supposed to be my day. That ... it rhymes with witch.

We are supposed to practice Thursday, Friday and Saturday for the event on Sunday.

I am still fuming. I don't hide my emotions well... so I'm sure everyone knows I'm angry about something.

Ashley and I ride back to my place and watch McGyver on a tape I have, before I ride part-way home with her, leaving her to drop off a video and to rent another. Cathy, MariAnn and Kristine call me as I lie around naked watching my video. Yeah. There's a visual for all of you.

I crash at 11:30PM mentally exhausted.

Somewhere childish,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog is by: The Killers: JEALOUSY
PS: Wow... why was I such a dink? Ashley didn't do anything wrong. Maybe I was trying to push her away? Maybe I was angry that she didn't immediately fall in love with me again after being away for three weeks? Maybe I don't like being shown up by anyone in sports? Maybe I had heat stroke? Maybe I'm as childish as those dancing kids? Maybe. Let's face it... if I wasn't complex, these adventures would be pretty boring. See... I told you I was honest. Writing these blogs about this particular time of my life - it's difficult to write and bare myself. It's hard to fathom how I refused to let myself stay in a good mood - always looking for something to pull me down. I think it's still going on in 2011. Crap. I should do something about it.
PPS: Today's image at the top is again drawn in ink by Matsu-sensei of Nozaki. It's me gabbing on the phone (he knows I do that a lot), plus... I'm shaving! I guess my facial hair grows pretty fast! Dammit! Has everyone noticed?! Anyhow... his hanko (ink stamp signature is below the drawing.. mine is in the top right corner, and simply says An-Doh-Ryu.... not my last name... just my first.  
PPPS: Another blog entry eight hours after the publication of this one. Hold your breath!

Dirty Deeds

It's Thursday, July 4, 1991 - Happy birthday USA! Ashley is coming over tonight, so maybe she can blow out the birthday candle.
Still... I have to get rid of Junko first. She spent the night  - again - and man am I tired.
This time when we get up at 6:30AM, I manage to have a shower by myself and get dressed with out her attacking me for more sex. She doesn't look tired, so I assume she's sleeping during the day when she knows I am teaching at school.
Since she has so-far taken a weeks 'vacation' from university to stalk me, I'm assuming she's .parked somewhere outside my school - Ohtawara Chu Gakko (Ohtawara Junior High School) here in Ohtawara-shi (City of Ohtawara), Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), Japan.
I kiss Junko good bye--which has her starting to unbuckle my belt--and push her out the door. I told her I am busy tonight - so maybe we could take a rest?
She stares at me for a few seconds, and while looking me straight in the eye says she will see me later.
No kidding. I have no idea what that really means, but I assume it's more stalking and another night without sleep. I have no idea how many days its been since I slept. I'm on automatic pilot.
As such, I suddenly wake up and I'm at school with no knowledge how I rode my bicycle there.
I think the school knows something is up, and rather than let me relax, gives me four classes to teach--one with Numanoi-sensei who doesn't understand the term 'wander'... which by the way is an anagram (mixed up letters) of my name. I nearly lose my temper over such a stupid thing.
When I play Word Scramble with Shibata-sensei's kids I give out Canadian dimes (10 cents) as prizes.
Hmmm... after giving out pennies yesterday and dimes today, I wonder if I can get reimbursed by the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme for $0.68? 
During fourth period - the one period I have no class to teach - I pass out at my desk in the teacher's lounge. When I have wake up, I'm in a pool of my own drool. Sexy it is not.
After school, and after English Club, I talk with one 15-year-old for about 20 minutes. He's a Hanshin Tiger's baseball fan--too bad they are currently 20-1/2 games out of first. We also talk about - conversationally - women, sex and adult videos - and says he really likes me for being honest. I have always thought that if someone here in Japan can ask me a question in English - no mater how potentially embarrassing it might be - I will answer it.
When I'm about to leave, I shake hands with Shibata-sensei and notice he's too lazy to remove his cigarette from his grip and instead shakes with his left hand. He sees me glance out the teacher's lounge window and casually asks if I am looking for Junko.
I seem confused I'm sure - and asks me if I want Junko to continue following me around.
How the heck does he know this? So I ask him.
Apparently I talked in my sleep - and drooled. He was the only person in the room at that time and just my luck, the only person who could have understood the mumblings of a very tired native English speaker.
I don't know how to answer his question - but instead sit back down and tell him what's been going on.
Apparently everyone (teachers) here at school know of my relationship with Junko - they just didn't know about the stalking. As well... since she was only supposed to be interning for a week here at this school, people at her university became alarmed when she didn't show up for school when she was supposed to... so they contacted the Ohtawara Board of Education (OBOE) - my office, who then contacted Ohtawara Chi Gakko - who informed them that she might have fallen in love with me - as it was obvious from my exhausted demeanor and body scent that I was still seeing her.
She really did smell  - different. Whatever she was wearing as a body spray (aside from myself) was driving me mad with lust - clouding my judgement... okay, no it wasn't... but when I have a gorgeous babe taking off her clothes and ripping mine off, I don't think rationally owing to a lack of bloodflow to the brain.
He repeats again: "Do you want Junko to continue following you around?"
Thinking about how I have Ashley coming over tonight before I leave for a teaching class... I could use the sleep when I got home... or Junko....
Dammit!
Since I don't have a bloodflow problem right now - just severe exhaustion and dehydration, I quietly say: "No...  I've tried to break things off with her last week - but she's either crazy in love with me or just crazy."
He goes over to the telephone beside the principal at the front of the teacher's lounge, says something quickly to the principal, who looks at me and shrugs his shoulders, and then makes a phone call.
I swear it was not more than two sentences and 15 seconds, and then he hung up.
We walks over in his floppy indoor slippers, lights up another cigarette and blows it in my face, placing his right hand (with the cigarette) on my left shoulder and says: "It's done."
What's done?
"It's done. Go home. I'll see you in September when school starts again. Enjoy your trip to Thailand."
And with that he turned and shuffled off. Perhaps when I go to Thailand I'll buy him some decent slippers.

I'll continue this day 24 hours from now.

Somewhere 'it's done'?
Andrew Joseph

Today's blog title is by AC/DC: 362436.
PS: Now do you see how everybody knows what it is I'm doing and who I'm doing? It's not just Junko stalking me - it's all of Japan!

Beer - It's Not Just For Kids Anymore

Here's something that I found quite bizarre about Japan.

In Japan - should you be thirsty for some alcohol and the bars are all closed and so is your local liquor shop - all you need to do is find a vending machine. Yup. Pop in some coins or a bill - and presto! You have alcohol in a can or a bottle. Large or small, the vending machine has then all. Sure some machines are brand specific - only Kirin beer, or only Ashahi beer... but it's there. I once popped in some coins and got a large bottle of Spanish red wine... of course... I had no way of opening it.
The same for the beer bottles. Yes, cans are easier to open, but I was greedy and wanted the largest bottle of beer they had in the machine. When it came out, I discovered I had almost no way of opening it there on the street. That was when I discovered I had unusually strong teeth and could pry the bottle cap off with  my molars. Keep in mind - this (1990-1993) was in the days before the fabulous twist-top bottle cap.
So... with booze available through a vending machine, you might think that underage kids everywhere would be boozing it up big time. But that was not the case. I never saw an underage kid sipping anything they weren't supposed to. Which is why I found it strange to come across the following item: Kidsbeer
While this drink is alcohol-free, it still looks and tastes like beer. I guess in Japan it's never too early to start your kid off on the road to accepted drunken businessman behaviour.  
And it's popular, too... selling some 100,000 bottles a month.
Kidsbeer was until 2003, a cola-like soft drink called Guarana that was available at the Shitamachi-ya restaurant in Fukuoka-ken (Fukuoka Prefecture). Restaurant owner Asaba Yuichi (surname first), in a fit of Japanese marketing genius, changed the name to Kidsbeer and suddenly his drink became extremely popular.
Here in North America, we have government agencies that watch for stuff like this - to avoid the exploitation of children... ah, but that isn't the case in Japan. From the restaurant, Asaba had the Tomomasu Co. from Ogi-shi (City of Ogi) in Saga-ken (Saga Prefecture) take over the filling and bottling of his product and had the drink produced in brown bottles resembling beer bottles, and created labeling that looked like beer bottle labels - and to top it off, they made the drink less sweet and more foamy to make it more akin to beer. Sheer marketing genius folks. 
Kidsbeer uses the South American guarana plant as the key ingredient - and sells it for about Y380 ($3.80 Canadian/US dollars) for each 330 milliliter glass bottle.

Your kid won't get drunk, but he will identify the beer-like drink as a drink he/she will enjoy as an adult. 

Can you imagine if you were babysitting a kid in Japan. You know he likes Kidsbeer, but he won't got to sleep when you tell him, so you just give him a real beer in a sippy cup and watch the little bugger pass out asleep. Of course, knowing my luck, the little guy would stay awake and turn into a mean drunk borrowing money and trying to sleep with my girlfriend. Who could I tell? My wife?

Somewhere having a cold one with my five-year-old son,
Andrew 'Bottle Baby' Joseph

Lucky Man

Despite the euphoria of having just slept with a gorgeous 21-year-oldJapanese university student, I'm cranky today - Tuesday, June 18, 1991.
It might be a lack of sleep - a thought that makes me smile because of why I had no sleep.
This morning, Junko sees me and coyly smiles at me in the teacher'soffice of Ohtawara Chu Gakko (Ohtawara Junior High School - also knownas Dai Chu) here in Ohtawara-shi (Ohtawara City), Tochigi-ken (TochigiPreferecture/State/Province) in Japan.

She repeatedly gives me the eye,and once licked her lips at me. Holy smokes! This woman is a tiger! Shedoesn't say too much to me today - a fact that makes a couple of theteachers pay even closer attention to me.
They know something happened between us last night.
They also know it was nothing bad, as she keeps looking at me (andobviously I'm looking at her to have noticed her looking at me).
The teachers - first all of the women - look at Junko, then stare atme. They then go into a huddle and seem to have confirmed that yes, Idid sleep with the university student. They seem concerned that perhapsI will attack the other two female university students doing an internshiphere at this school.
I might. But, it's not often I make the first move... I'm only aggressive after I'm sure I'm not going to be rebuffed.
The men... they just kind of figured out that I probably already sleptwith Junko, and while glad for me, probably hated my guts.
Now... here's an embarrassing thing that I'm truly not very proud off.
I know.. you've read a lot of things in these blogs that I should beashamed of, but this one is up there. Yes, it's worse than trying todeflower the university student. I tried. But someone beat me to it.
Anyhow... the students are all asses today. It's like they too hate me for sleeping with the sexy Junko.
In order to silence one of the 2nd-year students (grade 9's/14-year-olds)--a fatand obnoxious brat--I actually put him in a headlock and squeezed himuntil he changed color.
I'm going to guess this was a bad thing. And probably not something Ishould be admitting (though I did tell a few of my fellow gaijin(foreigners) about it later).
I did it after I repeatedly warned him that flipping the middle finger at an American of Canadian could get him into a fight.
Anyhow... I don't know how long I held him in that headlock... itseemed like a while. It wasn't really a choke hold, as I did squeezehim around the forehead.
What am I doing? I'm a lover, not a fighter! Just ask Junko!
Later on, I offered to shake the kid's hand in apology... but he saidhe wanted to fight some more. This he said in English! I could havecried in happiness!
But, after repeatedly sticking my hand out, he relented and went to grab it... in a judo throw.
Bugger! He didn't toss me, however, as I do know judo. He should haveknown that too, if he had remembered my self-introduction a few monthsback. Instead, I just held and squeezed his hand until he went down onhis knees.
He won't do that again (and truthfully - he didn't. He and I, while never best of friends, were friends after that!).
Obviously, I'm hyper now. So I go out to the front of the school andstare at the pond that is home to countless frogs. Despite beingcountless, I attempt to count them anyway. I get up to 47 beforebecoming bored, and instead wonder why the pond water is rust-coloured.
At lunch, my boss from the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education), Mr.Hanazaki, says he is coming over. I panic for 10 minutes until hearrives - fearing that it just might be wrong to fight a student!Instead, he has me sign my contract for next year, and tells me Ishould take it with me when I go down to the (work) Visa office inTokyo to essentially be allowed to stay in Japan another year.
He walks me around the school pointing out that his father was theprincipal at Dai Chu 15 years ago. He shows me his dad's photo. Youwon't believe this, but the man was smiling in the picture! The exactsame smile my boss has on his face every time I see him! Awesome!
Hanazaki-san (Mister Hanazaki... san also means Miss or Ms.) asks me if I had a nice time with Junko last night. How the hell did he know that?
I smile a crooked smile, raise my right eyebrow and say: "Hai!" (Yes!)He slaps me on the back and asks me about Ashley-sensei (Ashley teacher- my ex). I tell him we broke up. He says "Okay, secret,"  bows andwalks off.
How can he know I've slept with some woman whose last name I don't knowthat I met yesterday - but not know Ashley and I broke up?! I mean,weren't we yelling at each other loudly enough?  
Regardless, after school I arrive back at my apartment to see Ashleysitting on the front steps of the building. She looks pretty good,despite having put on a few pounds these past couple of weeks. She comes in, we chat, watch anepisode of Designing Women on a video tape I have and then walk over to a Chinese restaurantnear the Ashikaga Bank about four minutes away from my place. There'san enkai (a party) for something or another. Whatever. I was invited,and in turn asked Ashley to join me.
Despite being a non-couple, it's still my goal to get her good anddrunk and then... well, do whatever it is you do when you're drunk. Pee, Isuppose.
Matthew is there, and so is French-Canadian Martin and the American Kevin(the last two work for American corporations here in Ohtawara). Takakois there (Matthew's girlfriend), as well as Sugawara-san, and a couple of ladies Irecognize but don't know by name.
The food is not that filling, but the beer and whiskey is. I drink morethan my fair share, as I correctly assume that gaijin drink free. Ashley helps herself to my whiskey.
She and I are pretty chummy - I even let her get in a few good rips atme for old times sake. I dominate the entire conversation because I'm aloudmouth schnook - but no one seems to mind. I  make jokes and mimiceverybody there. I make a total ass of myself - but since we're allhaving a good time and not acting false, no one cares!
At 9PM, the party is over. I know. 9 P.M.! That's when the sidewalks are rolled up in Ohtawara-shi.
Still, the group of us go to a local coffee shop near the Ohtawara BoysHigh School where Ashley teaches. Narita, Brian, Naoko and thebeautiful girl from my evening conversation class--Shoko--are there.Ashley sits beside me. I'm sure Shoko is giving Ashley the evil eye.
We have something called Royal Tea and cheese cake - and I swear, if Ididn't have so much muscle there, it would have gone straight to mythighs. I don't know about anyone else, though.
At 10:30, we leave the shop. Martin drops Ashley and myself off at my apartment and then drives Matthew home.
Ash and I go up to my place take that wonderful pee we've been holdingin for hours and then sit and relax in my place while I make a phonecall to Susan St. Cyr to confirm that Ashley and I do want to go toDisneyland (probably... just not as a couple).
When I talk with Susan, she invites me to stay at her place this Friday night - and when Imention Ashley is coming, she hems for a second before saying Ashleycan stay too.
Cripes. Does everybody love Andrew? Or maybe she just didn't like Ashley.
Even though Ashley didn't ask me to, I rode my bicycle to accompany herback to her place 30 minutes away in Nishinasuno-machi (NishinasunoTown). The ride was nice and relaxed - probably because we were bothhammered.
And, even though we were both drunk - sleeping with her tonight is not part of my plan. Tonight builds trust.
I go into her place for a Coke. I notice my photo is gone and wonder ifshe burned it to exorcise the demons - much like she did the first timewe broke up back in November? Regardless, when I leave at 11:30PM, I geta really long (non-sexy), big hug.
I ride home getting there at about 11:50PM and see Junko leaving my front door.
What the hell. I call to her quietly. She turns, smiles and waits for me to unlock the door.
I still don't have a pair of indoor slippers for her - not that she needs to have anything on.

Somewhere the kami (gods) are smiling this week on,
Andrew Joseph

Today's blog title is by Emerson, Lake and Palmer: ELP 
PS: There's another blog eight (8) hours from the time this one is published - about something evil in Japan! 

Groovin'

Some of you might be wondering what the temperature is like in Japan. Well... it's a big freaking country (sort of), and stretches quite a ways west to east and also, north to south. So, I'd have to say that its weather (and temperatures) vary greatly.
Where I live in Ohtawara-shi (City of Ohtawara) , Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), the weather is similar to Toronto. Four real seasons - five if I include construction season which lasts all year long. It's hot in the summer in the mid-30C range, with winter's getting chilly. I have to admit that Ohtawara doesn't get as cold as Toronto, usually getting as low as maybe a -10C. Toronto can get a lot colder than that - especially with the wind chill factor. And snow? I remember one day in Ohtawara when we had a bout 30 cm of snow (12-inches). But, it did all melt within about 36 hours. If it did snow, there was never more than a couple of centimetres at most. So... it was survivable.
Now the thing about hot weather in Japan, is that it tends to also be humid. Very humid.

It's Wednesday, June 12, 1991. What a day. It's been a constant 34C all day long. And it's not just the heat - it's the stupidity. I just always wanted to write that joke. The humidity makes my shirt wet almost the same instant I step outside my very hot apartment.
I'm supposed to get an air-conditioner in my apartment today... a gift, if you will, from the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education) - but no one has said anything for a few days.
Like usual, I'll just play it by ear and something will happen. That's all one can do in Japan when one doesn't speak the language. Communication is often lost in the translation - but often it's lost because of a lack of communication.
Today's is the first day I haven't worn a tie with my suit. Yes, since arriving in Japan and teaching at the schools, I've worn suits. Some three-pieces, some just two piece. I noticed that all of the male teachers do so, so despite being a gaijin (foreigner), it's always important to try and fit in - even if it means dressing up... and what's wrong with looking good?
So... at Sakuyama Chu Gakko (Sakuyama Junior High School), I forgo the tie. If anyone notices, no one says anything - as it is bloody hot.
I have four classes to teach in a row - and then I get to have lunch. Afterward, I sit in the teacher's office to cool off - and fail miserably - as for some reason, the windows are all shut, and there's no air conditioning.
I have noticed that in the winter, the schools have the windows open, so everyone freezes.
At 5th period (no class), I go outside to get some sun. Yes, I'm already brown, but I don't wind a bit more of an orange glow to my skin.
While I just wanted to do nothing, I find a baseball lying in the grass and start tossing it against the side of the school gym. I'm not just tossing it, though. I'm pitching it as though I'm a real ball player. I've shed my jacket and loosened a few buttons, and I'm really getting some descent velocity on the ball. I notice soon enough that the entire school has stuck its collective head out the window to watch me from their classrooms.
Not wanting to be a further distraction, I walk around a bit and then decide to jog for a mile (1600 metres) around the school's track. The heat is intense and I'm out of shape. But, somehow I make it and finish off in a sprint to the delight of the crowd which continues to watch from the class windows.
After waving to them, I go inside and sweat all over the floor and then consume my weight in water.
Outside, the beautiful blue sky begins to cloud up.
After school, some of the boys ask me to play baseball with them - I pitch two innings of scoreless ball, striking out four before my arm goes dead.
Still, I teach the boys all of the naughty English words I can think off  - and they teach me a few naughty Japanese one's I haven't heard before.
We laugh and have a great time - and folks... this is what being an AET (Assistant English Teacher) is all about. Cross-cultural internationalization.
Back in the early 1990s... the only foreigners these kids had ever seen were on television or the movies. To meet one (me) and realize that that foreigners aren't as different as they thought  - well, that's the whole point of this blog. People are people wherever you go on this big blue marble called Earth.
When I go inside the school after a half-hour of real English teaching, the dark clouds really roll in. A siren blasts a warning that scares the heck out of me.
What?! Are the Americans dropping another bomb?
Seriously - as poor in taste that joke is some 50 years later, it's what went through my mind then.
Kocho-sensei (Principal) Kobayashi tells me that the siren is a warning from the nearby golf course to all the golfers, that an electrical storm is fast approaching.
All of a sudden, the black clouds open up spilling its rain and wind. Lightning flashes everywhere. The building shakes with crashes of thunder.
I've never seen such a powerful storm - and I've already been through a couple of F-5 force hurricanes here.
The area outside the school quickly fills up with water so that it looks like there is a moat around the place. And... upon a closer look, it seems as though ALL of the students are standing outside for some reason.
I have no idea why - cripes, I hope it wasn't because they all stopped to look at me toss a ball or jog!
What a country, though. Windows sealed shut in the heat. Windows wide open in the cold. Standing outside when it's raining. It's like a backwards world some days.
Then, as quickly as it began, it was over and I was driven home with shiny blue skies overhead.
At my apartment, the air-conditioner guys were waiting outside my door - including Naoko's dad (Naoko is a Japanese female friend of mine), whom I had never met before - but like his daughter, he spoke decent enough English and seemed very nice.
It took over two hours to install - and included drilling a hole in the wall through the outside. Kanemaru-san (my boss from the OBOE), and the building superintendent were there, too. And with the four extra people in the place and the just completed thunder storm, it was very hot and muggy in my place.
At 6PM, it began to lightning and thunder and rain very hard again.
I needed a shower after the baseball, jogging and feeling dirty after teaching the boys all the naughty words - but I couldn't very well leave my guests alone.
And, by the time they did leave, I didn't really feel like having one. I just sat under the wall-mounted air-conditioner and bathed in all of its icy glory.
This computer-controlled unit was a wonder. Apparently it's an air-conditioner in the summer, and I can make it pump out lots of heat in the winter.
Ahhhhh. Ashley, forget about me for an instant... but my apartment is now even nicer - you have no idea what you are missing! No more of me dropping sweat onto your forehead (if you know what I mean!).
I stay up until 1AM cleaning up the mess the workers left behind - I insisted that they leave it for ME to clean up - as they had worked hard enough and should head home to their families. No one accepted my offer of a drink or food until they were done and then everyone had water.
It's not an insult. In retrospect (today in 2011), I should NOT have asked them if they wanted anything (like we do in western society), I should have just gone and got it and brought it out for them (like in Japan).
What's really sad is that I only just now - in 2011 - realized that.

Somewhere learning about culture is cool,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is by The Young Rascals: DOINGANYTHINGWELIKETODO.
To me, it's about doing what you want to do - and today, I pretty much did. All because I chose not to wear a tie.
PS: There's a link to a neat news story eight hours after this entry hots the air. See you later!

Love Me Do


Monday, June 10, 1991.
I'm a single guy living in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, Japan. Excluding two days in Tokyo when I first arrived in this country, and the past week (or so), I have had a girlfriend or a reasonable facsimile.  I did make-out with a woman a couple of days ago, but there was no horizontal mambo involved, so it doesn't count.
I'm visiting Sakuyama Chu Gakko (Sakuyama Junior High School) in the southern part of Ohtawara-shi. It's a very pleasant school. Decent enough kids - a great teacher - Sekiya-sensei (sensei = teacher) - who is a mom as well as an English teacher - and has the most patience I've ever seen in a person. I'll never be like that. Why can't I have patience like that now. I want it now! Now! Now!!
Classes are boring. Okay. Not really. I just have a lot of them. I visit four classes and thus, no time to relax.
One of the kids, Tomahiro, pulls out a Rhinoceros Beetle to show off to me. Now I may look like a man, smell like a man and drink like a man, but when it comes to insects, I am not a man.
He holds this enormous moving thing on the palm of his right hand and holds it close to me.
I take two steps back.
He moves two steps closer.
I take two steps back.
I've shown fear - it's the worst thing you can do as a teacher - especially a gaijin (foreigner) teacher to a bunch of 12, 13 and 14 year-olds.
All of a sudden, every single stinking boy in the class has reached into a pocket and pulled out their own rhino beetle and has stood up and marched right in front of me.
I scream like a little girl. No that's not true. That's insulting to little girls who have more courage than me. I scream like only I can and try to curl up in the fetal position as these boys thrust their horned beetle at me.
Yes... it sounds just as bad as I write it. I'm sure they were getting off on torturing me. Bastards.
They embarrass me in front of the very cute student teacher Miss Mori. She is so cute - 5-1", silky black hair chopped evenly at her jawline. Tasteful, but tight clothing. And single. Oh, so very single. Hey! Me, too!
But... I think I blew a sure thing by acting like a little gi-... I mean like a wimp in front of her.
Looks like it's going to be onani tonight. Visit HERE to get a better grip on what I mean.
As Sekiya-sensei pulls the students away from me and I get up, the school bell rings. I can't even look at Miss Mori as I head back to the teacher's lounge.
After getting home at 5:30, I eat and go out to teach a night school class.
I go home. I relax.
I get some sleep, punctuated by fearful attacks by exo-skelton creatures.

Somewhere within my head,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is crawling all over me by The Beatles, of course. Slow song for a SLOWDAY.

Love Rollercoaster

Because the next two days are kind of dull like my mood, I'm going to combine them. I only include them because I'm setting the mood - as the next couple of months will soon become quite frenetic.

Thursday, June 6, 1991.
At Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Junior High School) I only have classes in the 3rd, 4th and 5th period (there are only 5 periods at this school) -  all of which I have to teach by myself as the English teacher Mrs. Yamamoto has to coach a softball tournament.
Before they leave, the girls are out practicing on the field outside, so I go out to watch.
These kids are fantastic! So's the coach. Strong and forceful, but cajoling. An excellent coach.
These girls play better than any of the teams I played on as an adult in my early 20s!
Wishing them good luck, I head back in to prepare for my three classes.
In each of the classes, I show them the first half of the movie Back To The Future - and show the last half after school to 12 very interested - but nerdy - boys. The rest had their own club activities to attend - but 12 is more than I expected, to tell the truth.
When I go home afterward, I call up Rory - Kristine's friend in Tokyo - introduce myself (as a friend of Kristine) and mention that Kristine thought he and I would get along. I then related my girl situation. Rory had no qualms about having me come for a visit to show me around the city to help me get out of my funk (and hopefully my pants! with some lucky woman or three).
It's Thursday. My ex-girlfriend Ashley and I apparently broke up on Monday - even though I'm sure I broke up with her on Saturday. I only mention this because this is the longest I have gone in Japan without having a woman around as my girlfriend or girlfriend as a one-night plaything. That's what Japan was like for me. I spent nearly 26 years being ignored by women back in Toronto, but here in Japan - the whole country was like my own private Plato's Retreat. My own private Disneyland where I don't care how tall you are to ride my roller coaster. 
After talking to Rory, I call up Kristine for a 30-minute sexually-charged one-handed conversation. Just so you all are aware... 20 years later Kristine has no knowledge of these sexually charged conversations, but I still have the right forearm muscles to prove it.
Sated, I call up Tim and Mari Ann before Matthew comes over with his new girlfriend (but mutual friend) Takako. She looks awesome. Matthew's one lucky dog.
I go to bed, but not to sleep. That's Day five, if any one is counting.

Friday June 7, 1991.
Today is an office day where I go to the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education) office and write up a few reports for them, write letters and essentially get paid for the day while goofing off.
Kanemaru-san and Hanzaki-san - my two bosses responsible for me while I am in Japan tell me that I'll be getting an air-conditioner in my apartment next Wednesday. Apparently my sweating fish story worked (HOTFISH)!
From the office, I call up the effervescent Melissa - a very sexy blond I really liked but was unable to do anything about while shackled to Ashley since my third day in Japan - and tell her about my situation. Apparently she already knows.
I'm guessing some sort of warning went out to all of the female AETs (assistant English teachers) working in Tochigi-ken on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme to let them know that I was on the prowl. As such - I ain't getting any from her, as she seems to have sided with Ashley on this one. That's just my opinion - she never said anything to indicate that, though.
At home, I decide not to go out to the bars, and instead stay home and further depress myself. Heavily. With booze. I call up a few people: Dan, Matthew, Melissa (again - but she's still not biting, if you know what I mean) and Ashley. We chat for less than a minute. It's not pretty.
And, just to let you know what I was thinking - and have never mentioned this to a single person before - I thought about going up to the roof of my seven-story apartment building and ending it on the pavement below. Stupid. The thought was there long enough to remember it, but short enough to realize I would never do something to hurt myself - especially over a woman. Stupid.
Still, I decide not to even bother going to bed and stay up all night long pacing in my three-bedroom apartment going over the past in my head. I'm just making myself further upset. Stupid.

Somewhere on the prowl,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is ridden by the Ohio Players: TWOTICKETS. There's also a cool version done 20 years later by the Red Hot Chili Peppers: FOURTICKETS (the cost of inflation), but it's well worth the money to have a listen.
PS: The roller coaster goes up and down and side to side - much like the way I was feeling these two days - but you already knew that, didn't you?

Fire When Ready

Tanuki cup with hat lid.
While it's not my intention to offend... but if you are the type to go to Pottery Barn for all of your artistic pottery needs, chances are you would find the town of Mashiko-machi in Tochigi-ken, Japan a tad overwhelming.
I was lucky enough to accompany the Ohtawara Junior High School third-year (Grade 9's) students on a field trip back in 1990, weeks after arriving.
Because I was still getting acclimatized to a new country and a new language and customs, I really had no clue where I was going or why I was going or even why they were nice enough to want me there. But, as far as that last point, even after just a few months in Japan, it was already quite evident to me that the Japanese are very hospitable. And they always were to me.
Hanging out with Shibata-sensei (Shibata teacher), the hip, good-looking English teacher from the school, he explained to me in near perfect English just where we were going and what the place had to offer. 
Mashiko, along with Arita in Saga-ken, and the towns of Seto and Tokoname in Aichi-ken, are known as places where the finest pottery in Japan is produced.
Now I have to admit that I was not a big pottery fan. It was just plates and dishes and cups, and so what? But when you actually visit a place and see it being made... well, it changes one's perception quite dramatically. 
Made in Canada by yer author.
I had always known that skill was heavily involved. Take a look at the blue cup with the letter A on it that I made back in grade 7. As well, there's the small bowl I made for my mother back in grade 5. Not sure why there's nothing from grade 6... If I can do it - and granted I'm not saying what I did was great (it's not), then really anyone can do it. 
I was wrong.
Mashiko-machi (Mashiko town) first began producing pottery back in 710AD, but as an art form, the town was unable to sustain any success - perhaps because the main potter died? Anyhow... in the 1800's, Mashiko revived its pottery skills in order to supply Edo (the capital now named Tokyo) and its 1-million residents with all of their kitchenware.   
Now here's where it gets interesting again... just like with Japan's national anthem (read about it  - Kimiyago), a gaijin (foreigner) became involved.
In 1909, Bernard Leach from England met a potter named Shoji Hamada. Leach had come to learn etching techniques, but it was Hamada's pottery skills that greatly impressed him, and the two began to work together. After working with each other for four years in England, Hamada returned to Japan to live in Mashiko where he used the excellent clay in the area. 
With his glazing and shaping skills, he became a master potter - which is also great for a town's reputation as well. 
Nowadays, there are too many potters to count in Mashiko, some better than others, but all are a lot more skilled than I ever was as an 11-year-old (obviously). 
My two favourite o-cha (green tea) cups. Rough on Left, ugly/beauty on right.
With the school (and a plethora of other schools from other towns), we received instruction on how pottery is created. Shibata-sensei said that one can even take a crack (bad choice of words) at making their own.   
We toured around a few kilns and shops, and pretty much everybody bought something - me more than others, because, well, I wanted to fit in. Being broke, be damned.
We were ushered to the town's square where there was a giant  - I thought it was a raccoon, but Shibat-sensei told me that the 20-foot high critter was called a tanuki (see top photo). We looked it up in my dictionary and discovered it was a mix of raccoon and dog. What it was, however was a pot-bellied critter with his wang jutting out. 
A flat dish. Again - texture.
Like you (in future blogs), I was to learn the Japanese have a lot of images involving sexual body parts (male & female). And while there was much tittering (sorry!) from some the girls, the boys all kind of stood at attention (ahem!) and stared at the tanuki with reverent awe.   
While I wasn't smart enough (again) to bring my camera, I did purchase the tanuki cup. 
The photo at the very top shows of some of the more artsy pottery I purchased that day. And, while I may not know what's good or bad pottery (okay, the stuff I made was really bad), I do like what I bought there.
If you ever do get a chance to visit Japan and Tochigi-ken, I highly recommend you spend a few hours in Mashiko. Tell them I sent you. It won't mean a darn thing, but imagine the look on their face as they will politely try to remember who you are talking about.
A nicely textured vase.
Since I didn't do anything spectacular - like knock over the statue, or break all of the wares in a shop - I was just another shopper to them... and mind you you, not once that day did I hear the word gaijin. After all, they must be used to seeing us all after a hundred years.
Somewhere my clay is achin' over my lack of artistic skill,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is brought to us by: Perfect Strangers: FIRE WHEN READY, in this case implies the firing of the pottery. The lyrics have nothing to do with anything I have to say today. It's also country rock. Lite.  

PS: clay is achin' is a poor pun relative to former American Idol television star, Clay Aikens. I said I had no artistic skill.

Lonely Boy

A very short entry today, people. After a solid 31 days oif writing these entries, we had 1,209 page visitations. Awesome! Thanks for reading.
For some reason, I have readers in Denmark, Spain, Germany, Russia, South Korea, and Slovenia. I have no idea why! I hope you are planning on visiting Japan.
For those of you who may be interested in staying awhile - I've painted a picture of fun and excitement. It certainly was - and for about four days a week, I had more fun than human beings should be allowed to have. But the other three days?
Let me tell you how I often spent my evenings in Ohtawara-shi. On nights when I wasn't selling my services as an English teacher to the Ohtawara International Friendship Association, or going for Kyudo (Japanese archery) lessons with Ashley and Kanemaru-san, one of my bosses at the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education), you would find me home alone.
Leaving one of the seven junior high schools I taught at, or the OBOE, at 5PM, I'd be home by 5:30PM at the latest. I'd drop off my things, change from my dress clothes into my tee shirt and jeans and ride my bicycle over to the local video rental shop and get two or three videos! I'd then race to a local grocery store and pick up a pre-cooked Japanese meal that only required me to heat it up in the microwave.
Riding home, I'd stop off at the variety/convenience/sake store directly two floors below me and pick up a two-litre bottle of Coca-Cola.
At home, I'd turn on the air-conditioner or heater I had installed. Then I'd flick on the televisions, watch some American TV that would be broadcast in bilingual stereo (those programs could be watched in English, Japanese, or a combination of both). While microwaving my food, I would put some clothes in the washing machine. When the heating in the microwave was done, I would turn on the washing machine.
Having the heater or air-conditioner on with the television, microwave and the washer, would blow the fuse! I did it twice before figuring things out. No big deal... I just had to throw the breaker back on to get electricity back.
While eating, I'd watch my videos... Depending on my mood, I might answer the telephone when it rang. At 8PM, it was my mentally-challenged student from Nozaki Junior High School, a double-ring long distance call could mean it was Kristine--she, I would pick the phone up for. In fact, I knew I would gladly kill a yak for her supper, if she was so inclined.
Owing to the time difference between Toronto and Ohtawara, I knew no one from Canada was calling me in the evening. I had no answering machine, so I did take my chances.
Others calling me locally - it really was hit or miss.
Despite my out-going personality, I enjoyed being alone (or so I thought). Matthew (who called me on October 30, 2010), he knew better than to try and call me at my apartment - and often just showed up on my doorstep with beer and food.Great friggin' guy!
We'd watch a movie... he'd leave, I'd watch a couple more and finish my laundry and ironing. By 1AM, it was time to go to bed and wake up six hours later.
I'd become domesticated without realizing it.

Somewhere I don't have a girlfriend this week,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is by Paul Anka: LISTEN

A Horse With No Name

Japan is so very different from Western society.

Here's the best example I can think of at this very moment... coming to me... right...  ... now!

Japanese boys when talking to me have this boy habit of pointing to their own crotch and saying for all the world to hear it (including the girls): "Small-small!"

No way does that ever happen in Canada or the U.S., where everybody swears they are part Thoroughbred horse.

Somewhere, neigh, in the Kentucky Derby,
Andrew Joseph
Today's short episode is brought to you by a long song by America.
HERE