A recent visitor to this blog used the search pattern "How do I introduce my Japanese girlfriend to my white parents?" I wish I had this answer for him then... but if he (or she) comes back... here's my advice:
Brother... the fact that you have to ask that question means you think your parents are not as accepting as you are regarding people of other colours or cultures. If that is true, your parents have the problem - not you.
My parents never gave a crap about the colour of skin of any of my friends or girlfriends. The never gave a crap about what religion they are or what sexual orientation they are. They never gave a crap about what their job was either.
When I told my mother I was dating a stripper/exotic dancer, she simply asked me if she was a nice girl. I said yes, and that was good enough for her.
Because your girlfriend is Japanese, Hungarian, Black, White, Brown or Blue, or is on Welfare or works as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that's YOUR business. If you can't handle that, then you don't date them.
You are the one dating your Japanese girlfriend. Not your parents. Don't let the narrow mindedness of people dissuade you from living your life in a correct and happy manner.
My wife, whom I met on a telephone dating service, was on welfare when I met her. So what. She was overweight, too. So what? You can always lose weight, but you can't gain intelligence. She said that to me, and I've never forgotten it. Apparently that weight loss thing is difficult, but let's not go there. She's smart, warm, charming and pretty and I love her.
If you love your girlfriend or boyfriend, or wife or husband, that's all that matters.
My wife was reluctant to introduce me to her father, fearing that he might be a tad racist. If he was, he never showed it to me, and always showed me love and respect.
If you are still worried about the introduction, pick a couple of things your mother and father separately enjoy and have your girlfriend learn as much as possible about those subjects. I didn't have to fake this, but my father-in-law liked to live in the past and firmly believed hockey and baseball was much better in HIS day. Because I have a love of history and hockey and baseball, I was already able to converse with him on these topics. And, to avoid being too much of a know-it-all, I would sometimes have to feign ignorance on a topic to let him teach me.
What that did was show him that I (as a Brown guy of Indian descent) was every bit as Canadian as he was, but that he still knew more than me and could enlighten me on a thing or two). Play to their ego.
To introduce a Japanese girlfriend to parents who aren't as accepting as you... well, do you really HAVE to introduce them to each other? Or, if you do, a possible solution is to lessen the importance of the relationship a bit.
I hated it at the time, but my girlfriend in Japan - Nobuko - she introduced me to her mother and father as a 'friend'. Not as a friend with benefits, or as her boyfriend - but merely as a friend. I hated her for not having the guts to stand up to her parents, but in Japan, the Japanese can be a bit racist sometimes. I understood her fear, and I didn't like it, but what did it matter? I was with HER and still would be after that first meeting. (I also brought her dad an expensive bottle of whiskey and her mom a big bouquet of flowers!)
The Japanese are not all racist. My American friends Matthew and Jeff and Canadian friend Martin all married beautiful Japanese women and got no flack or grief from the in-laws. Nobuko's parents also loved meeting the famous me... but would they have felt the same way if they knew we were having sex? Probably not.
I'll assume you know your parents. As such, put off introducing your girlfriend to them... but if you must, warn her ahead of time of your fears and see if SHE is comfortable. It's going to be a stressful time anyways (for a first meet), so make sure you both can handle it.
And, should your parents still be asses after and during the meeting - screw them. You are dating her... not them. You may have to make a decision... her or them... and that's something only YOU can decide. Decide honourably and what's best for you.
Somewhere on a pedestal,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog is sung by The Clovers: NEWVERSION
Brother... the fact that you have to ask that question means you think your parents are not as accepting as you are regarding people of other colours or cultures. If that is true, your parents have the problem - not you.
My parents never gave a crap about the colour of skin of any of my friends or girlfriends. The never gave a crap about what religion they are or what sexual orientation they are. They never gave a crap about what their job was either.
When I told my mother I was dating a stripper/exotic dancer, she simply asked me if she was a nice girl. I said yes, and that was good enough for her.
Because your girlfriend is Japanese, Hungarian, Black, White, Brown or Blue, or is on Welfare or works as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that's YOUR business. If you can't handle that, then you don't date them.
You are the one dating your Japanese girlfriend. Not your parents. Don't let the narrow mindedness of people dissuade you from living your life in a correct and happy manner.
My wife, whom I met on a telephone dating service, was on welfare when I met her. So what. She was overweight, too. So what? You can always lose weight, but you can't gain intelligence. She said that to me, and I've never forgotten it. Apparently that weight loss thing is difficult, but let's not go there. She's smart, warm, charming and pretty and I love her.
If you love your girlfriend or boyfriend, or wife or husband, that's all that matters.
My wife was reluctant to introduce me to her father, fearing that he might be a tad racist. If he was, he never showed it to me, and always showed me love and respect.
If you are still worried about the introduction, pick a couple of things your mother and father separately enjoy and have your girlfriend learn as much as possible about those subjects. I didn't have to fake this, but my father-in-law liked to live in the past and firmly believed hockey and baseball was much better in HIS day. Because I have a love of history and hockey and baseball, I was already able to converse with him on these topics. And, to avoid being too much of a know-it-all, I would sometimes have to feign ignorance on a topic to let him teach me.
What that did was show him that I (as a Brown guy of Indian descent) was every bit as Canadian as he was, but that he still knew more than me and could enlighten me on a thing or two). Play to their ego.
To introduce a Japanese girlfriend to parents who aren't as accepting as you... well, do you really HAVE to introduce them to each other? Or, if you do, a possible solution is to lessen the importance of the relationship a bit.
I hated it at the time, but my girlfriend in Japan - Nobuko - she introduced me to her mother and father as a 'friend'. Not as a friend with benefits, or as her boyfriend - but merely as a friend. I hated her for not having the guts to stand up to her parents, but in Japan, the Japanese can be a bit racist sometimes. I understood her fear, and I didn't like it, but what did it matter? I was with HER and still would be after that first meeting. (I also brought her dad an expensive bottle of whiskey and her mom a big bouquet of flowers!)
The Japanese are not all racist. My American friends Matthew and Jeff and Canadian friend Martin all married beautiful Japanese women and got no flack or grief from the in-laws. Nobuko's parents also loved meeting the famous me... but would they have felt the same way if they knew we were having sex? Probably not.
I'll assume you know your parents. As such, put off introducing your girlfriend to them... but if you must, warn her ahead of time of your fears and see if SHE is comfortable. It's going to be a stressful time anyways (for a first meet), so make sure you both can handle it.
And, should your parents still be asses after and during the meeting - screw them. You are dating her... not them. You may have to make a decision... her or them... and that's something only YOU can decide. Decide honourably and what's best for you.
Somewhere on a pedestal,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog is sung by The Clovers: NEWVERSION
