Japan is so very similar to Western society
Here's the best example I can think of at this very moment... coming to me... right... ... now!
Not being a very good cook--though I (and Matthew) once got paid to teach a cooking class--we're professional cooks!--I have spent a lot of my life nearly killing myself with my own cooking, or have let someone else do it for me in the form of fast-food cooking.
As a Coke addict--that's Coca-Cola, my friends--I always have one when at a fast food joint like Kentucky Fried Chicken, McDonald's or the ever mysterious Mosburger (which was always delicious, and I miss - despite the following kvetch).
When I place my food order, I always ask for a large Coke--and I do it in Japanese: "Oki-sai Ko-ra, kudasai." (Large size Coke, please).
Why do the greasy clerks working there always (and I mean every, single time) ask me this: "L-sizu, desu ka?", which translates into: "L-size, is it?"
It seems that fast-food restaurants the world over have some level incompetence working for them.
What's even more bizarre is that there is NO letter "L" in the Japanese alphabets!
Somewhere having an L-sized Root Beer,
Andrew "I said I wanted a Coke" Joseph
Today's title version is by Devo - YELLOWJUMPSUIT
PS - Today is also the birthday of my Japanese girlfriend Nobuko. We were engaged. Got your attention, eh?
PPS - I will introduce her very soon - perhaps this week.
Showing posts with label Cooking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cooking. Show all posts
Would I Lie To You?
Sometimes you can get lucky. It’s said that virtually no home here is completely devoid of them. If there’s one, there could be 100. And, if there are 100, there could be thousands. Etcetera.
Thanks in part to an exo-skeleton, they may the only survivors after we blow ourselves to Heaven, Hell or Tahiti, if you are a sun-loving atheist.
Still, if you must live in Japan, there are solutions to the problem. Here are some that I tried:
A Dozen Ways To Handle A Cockroach
1. Stomp on it.
2. Do it again. It’s still running.
3. Scream like the sissy you are, hoping that it has eardrums, and that they might burst.
4. Stomp on it some more. Why won’t it die?
5. Buy some bug spray and try not to blind yourself.
6. Burn it with a can of bug spray and matches.
7. Try not to blind yourself (again).
8. Shoot it with an elastic band and paper clip.
9. Try not to blind—ah, you know.
10. Ask someone to kill it for you (no one was home!).
11. Let it eat your girlfriend’s cooking (is there trouble in paradise?).
12. Move out and concede defeat. Besides your rent will go up once the landlord/superintendent finds out you have multiple occupancy.
Number 11 did not happen. Even I could not be that cruel.
Somewhere Kafka is laughing,
Andrew Joseph
Musical title by The Eurythmics.
Thanks in part to an exo-skeleton, they may the only survivors after we blow ourselves to Heaven, Hell or Tahiti, if you are a sun-loving atheist.
Still, if you must live in Japan, there are solutions to the problem. Here are some that I tried:
A Dozen Ways To Handle A Cockroach
1. Stomp on it.
2. Do it again. It’s still running.
3. Scream like the sissy you are, hoping that it has eardrums, and that they might burst.
4. Stomp on it some more. Why won’t it die?
5. Buy some bug spray and try not to blind yourself.
6. Burn it with a can of bug spray and matches.
7. Try not to blind yourself (again).
8. Shoot it with an elastic band and paper clip.
9. Try not to blind—ah, you know.
10. Ask someone to kill it for you (no one was home!).
11. Let it eat your girlfriend’s cooking (is there trouble in paradise?).
12. Move out and concede defeat. Besides your rent will go up once the landlord/superintendent finds out you have multiple occupancy.
Number 11 did not happen. Even I could not be that cruel.
Somewhere Kafka is laughing,
Andrew Joseph
Musical title by The Eurythmics.
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