And despite Japan's insistence on being known as a decent society (which it is), there is also a hidden underground of sex - everybody does it, but no one talks about it. From prostitution, Love Hotels, trying to hook up with rhyming gaijins (foreigners), sex in anime (cartoons) and manga (comic books) sex is part of the way of life in Japan. Hell, they even have phallic symbols all over the place that they like to sight see or parade around in. Hmm... that will be a blog topic very soon.
In this case, our topic is about condoms - the recent theft of some 700,000 condoms (aka rubbers or add your own favourite term here). And I am here to add to my condom-nation of this event.
The condoms were stolen en route between Malaysia and Japan. The ship, while loaded with preventative measures (the condoms) failed to adequately protect itself even though the cargo was placed into a shipping container and locked while in northern Malaysia. Forced entry is suspected, as the container was empty when it arrived in Tokyo, though the locks had all been replaced by the cunning ballsy thieves.
The police are baffled as to why the locks were replaced, though your humble author suspects it was to prevent the customer from knowing it had been violated and thus provide a longer amount of time to pass for the crime of raping the ship of its precious cargo to be discovered. If one doesn't suspect there is anything wrong, then there is nothing wrong.
“We are unhappy over the incident. This is the first time such a thing has happened since our Malaysian production started in 1997,” said Sato Koji, manager of the Sagami Rubber Factory.
Sagami officials claim that the condoms are unlike others of their ilk as they are 14 per cent thinner than conventional ones (not necessarily larger, however), and on the Japanese market retail for $1.5 million or about $2.25 a toss. As I've always suspected, sex sells.
“There are locks, seals and checklists provided by freight forwarders and shipping lines for every part of the journey from factory to destination, so it is very easy to find out where and when they were tampered with or changed,” said Walter Cullas, president of the Air Freight Forwarders Association of Malaysia.
The Malaysian police are doing their best to uncover the condom culprits and are quite aware that goods shipped out of Malaysia often go missing. It is suspected, however that if they do find the culprits, rubber bullets will be used in the apprehension of the criminals.
Unfortunately, the police don't really have any suspects, but your It's A Wonderful Rife correspondent suggests they search Malaysian teenagers with extra wide grins on their faces. No gaijin are considered suspects - even to purchase in the underground market - as, in this case, one size will not indeed fit all.
There is no word yet as to how Japan will react to the condom shortage.
Somewhere, glad I don't fit the profile,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is by Bobby Vee - I used to like this one when I was a kid, and played my K-Tel record over and over again: BOUNCYBOUNCY.
PS: Click HERE to try the condom selector tool. Those are their words, not mine.
