Old Fashioned Love Song

It's a nice enough day... it's not raining, but since this is Japan, I'm pretty sure it will soon enough.

It's Wednesday, October 9, 1991, and I'm an assistant English teacher (AET) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme living in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, Japan since very late July 1990.

I had set my alarm for 7:30AM, but I don't wake up until 8:45AM. In a panic, I make it out to the Ohtawara Board Of Education (OBOE) offices where I work for a quick 9:30AM meet for some stamping business with my hanko (That's how the Japanese sign all official documents - see THIS blog for more - you would think counterfeiting or falsifying documents would occur more often, but to my knowledge it hasn't).

I then race out on my bicycle for Matthew's team-teaching demonstration in Nishinasuno-machi (Nishinasuno Town)... unfortunately, due to the high amount of humidity, me wearing a silk shirt and a backpack on my back, my lovely dark blue shirt is soaked in sweat making the shirt look black.

Matthew, by the way, is a junior high school teacher (like myself), who lives in Ohtawara, but teaches at the smaller schools outside the city border, while I teach those that are within it. He's giving a team-teaching demonstration today to all of the junior high school AETs in Tochigi-ken.

Letiticia, one of the new arrivals two months ago, is there. She looks drop-dead sexy... and I'll admit when I get around her, my tongue gets tied. She is THAT beautiful. Long, tall, slim, curly dark brown hair, gorgeous eyes, a small mouth, long neck, gorgeous smile, long legs, a small, but round butt... this woman is one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever met.

She walks over to me and hands me a letter and some comic books. The gift of the comic books makes me want to marry her on the spot! Forget about the way through a man's heart being the stomach... for me, it's through comic books! Here's a girl who actually listened when I spoke and realized how much I missed reading good old fashioned American comic books.

The letter. I open it and read a few moments after she gos off to say hello to some other AETs. Funnily enough, her letter says that she is at that point in her life where she wants to be married. Hey! Me, too! Not really.

So... what do you think... is she just telling me this as a friend... or is she just telling me this to see if I am interested in the whole marriage thing?

I have to admit... while I certainly would like to get married one day, the whole idea kind of scares me at the moment - what with me only just discovering myself as the sexual stud that I am here in Japan.

While Letiticia and I have talked for hours on the phone, we've never been overly flirty with one another, so her comments to me about such a deep topic as marriage throws me for a loop.

I was going to give her a present (a lucky charm to protect against health defects and a stuffed lion doll), but now I don't want to lead her on—so I don't give either to her. But man... would I like to give it to her.

It's not that I don't think Letiticia is worthy of marriage... I'm sure she is. Charming, smart, funny and sexy, with a very, very pleasant demeanor. But what would any guy do in this position? Play her up and give her the present to get sex? Or, back off, forgoing sex so as to not lead her on?

Hell... I just want sex. Is that so wrong? What's with these new girls? Karen and Letiticia. Why do I have to be a boyfriend to get sex? Now... like I said... maybe Letitia is just letting me into her life as a confidante... really? What's wrong with me being your boyfriend?

I suppose, if Letiticia wanted me to be her boyfriend, I would have done so at the drop of a hint. Was that letter a hint or a plea?

I'll talk more about Letitia  in a later blog... suffice to state that I wanted you all to know just how wonderful she is... if not a tad confusing to me.

Matthew's team-teaching demonstration. Okay... from what I remember of it, it was basic, but good. Thank goodness. If he was doing some super spectacular stuff that I wasn't doing, then my teachers or OBOE might want me to do the same thing! Since he's not, I'm safe. My easy job remains easy.

I'll admit that I wasn't watching a lot of Matthew's demonstration, as I sat beside Letiticia pressing my knee up against hers. A couple of times she would turn her head, smile at me as I looked at her, and she would press back a little harder before slowly, ever so slowly pull her leg back. We would repeat the process several times during the demonstration.

As such, Matthew, old buddy, old pal... I had a severe lack of blood flow to my brain as I only had eyes (and other body parts) for Letiticia.

When Matthew was done, Letiticia squeezed my hand with hers (I wish it was with her knees), and said she was heading back to Ashikaga-shi (Ashikaga City where she lived) now... it's a fairly long trip of about 1-1/2 hours by train..

I wonder how she got here so early this morning? Did she stay at someone's house? She could have stayed at mine last night? Or, did she just catch some early trains here? Damn... I missed out.

Regardless... it was still nice to see everyone - all of the returnees on JET, as well as the newcomers... most of whom I was seeing sober for the first time since Matthew and I went down to Tokyo this past July to lend a helping, welcoming hand.

After eating eel for lunch (unagi = eel on rice) for the first time ever, Jeff Seaman and I go over to the nearby gym and shoot some basketball with the local students. Jeff is a great guy... the only one I know who wrote a Master's thesis on the Batman comic book: The Dark Knight Returns written and drawn by Frank Miller.

Jeff teaches the kids some sports slang and I teach them some locker room talk... the bad words.

When it was all over, I ride home in the rain. See... I told you it would rain. It sucks. Ashley comes by at 5PM following her day of teaching at the Ohtawara Boy's High School. Ashley is my ex-girlfriend and current friend-with-benefits.

While it's true that I am thinking about Letitia, I am also going on a vacation to Sendai-shi (Sendai City) tomorrow with Ashley. She asked me to join her - probably in a fit of jealousy after finding out that Karen wants me for her boyfriend. Regardless... I hopefully do a good job of hiding Letiticia's letter from her.

Ashley has no worries with regards to Letitia. If Ashley was still my girlfriend and Letitia came a-calling for me, I would drop Ashley like a ton of bricks. See? No worries. Of course, Ashley is not my girlfriend, but we still are a couple. A couple of somethings.

Since it's raining, and Ashley and I are getting warm and cozy under the blankets of my kotatsu (electric blanket/table), I call up Kanemaru-san and cancel our kyudo (Japanese archery lesson). We're both wet and tired.

We eat a lasagna dinner, have four beers each, watch some videos and actually go to bed without any hanky-panky... though I do stay awake a bit longer trying to see if there is anything hidden with Letititia's letter.

Somewhere a woman bought comic books for,
Andrew Joseph  
Today's blog title is by Three Dog Night: LETTER  - and this song is dedicated to Letiticia.



PS: From that first lunch of unagi at Matthew's team-teaching demonstration, it is still my favourite Japanese food. Ichiban dai suki desu. (That's my baby way of saying 'it's my favourite thing I like').  I will eat it every chance I get.

PPS: BY the way... at this point in time in 2011, I am unsure of the correct way to spell Letiticia's name. It's pronounced lu-tish-ah. I think I have also spelled it "Letitica". If you are out there darling... spelling has never been my forte, and I'm going on what I wrote in my diary a-way back then. I apologize for any mis-spellings, but just know that I thought you were beautiful.

Somebody To Love

I have four classes today - September 26, 1991. I'm assistant English teaching here at Wakakusa Chu Gakko (Wakakusa Junior High School) here in Ohtawara-shi (Ohtawara City), Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), Japan.
I'm still feeling bloody tire... a feeling I haven't been able to shake for maybe three months now.
Last night's squawk with Ashley my current friend-with-benefits and former ex-girlfriend. It didn't hurt, but it sure didn't help me get to sleep because all I could think about was how great it was. Ashley may never achieve my level of whit, but she seems to know how to get me going, just as I do her. It kills me that we aren't a couple anymore.
Some of the girls in the third-year class drop by the teacher's office with a Where's Waldo book. As luck would have it, I actually have a copy of Mad Magazine with me that has a parody of Waldo! They think it's sick but very funny.
Comedy! Ahhhh... it really does break down a language barrier! I think it's how I have managed to not only survive but somehow thrive these past 14 months in Japan.
Back at home, I try to relax. My eyes are dead tired, but I watch a lot of videos from back home in Toronto.
Kevin - that poaching bastard calls me to discuss the events of last Saturday night. That was when I asked Matthew (and his girlfriend Takako) to intervene on my behalf to get him the hell away from the Japanese foxy  woman who was trying (successfully) to pick me up. As soon as he started speaking his fluent Japanese, I had lost. Why would a woman want to struggle with broken English and Japanese when she could talk Japanese?
The obvious answer would because she would have been with me.
I wish it were that simple.
Sometimes I think the Japanese women would just like to score with a gaijin (foreigner)--any gaijin--just to say that they have done it. I think that's why every single guy who goes to Japan (with me being the lone exception) has come here thinking that having a Japanese girlfriend is the first thing they need to do.
I don't know if that's true. I never asked a Japanese woman, as I was always too busy grunting and rutting.
I know that's a contradiction... but I had zero expectations of anything upon arriving here except that I was probably going to die because I had no idea who to shop, cook, clean, launder... anything - plus I had never had sex before... so why have any expectations except more failure?
Also... I had hooked up with Ashley on my second day in Japan - not knowing that she lived in the town next door, or even what her name was until 24 hours later.
Anyhow... why would I want to talk with Kevin. I am so angry, but tell him I am too tired to talk. I wonder if he understands just how pissed off I am? I hope so.
I had spent the first 24 years of my life being picked on and put down. Once I hit college, I changed and vowed that would never happen again. It's why I fight back... or at the very least seek revenge.
Childish? Maybe. But that's me.
My buddy Matthew calls, telling me that Takako is going to move out and live in Utsunomiya-shi (Utsunomiya City), the capital of Tochigi. He says she is moving out tomorrow. Oh.
He's very vague on the details, but I would suppose something happened at home. I don't press him for details despite every fiber of my journalistic being demanding I do so. He's my friend and I know he's hurting - hell, I am too... Takako has been nothing short of a godsend as a friend for me, too. I figure if there is more to all of this Utsunomiya stuff, then Matthew will tell me when he's ready.
Next on the new assistant English teacher Japan Exchange & Teaching (JET) Programme list is yet another woman.
It's Letiticia. I wanted to wait a while before calling her because she is just so god-damned beautiful, sexy and smart and dammit all to hell, every single guy who wasn't just interested in Japanese girls wanted to be with her. Hell... me, too. But this wasn't a girl I could simply dazzle with bullcrap. I had to let her see what Japan was like first.
It had only been two months for her here in Japan. I figured she would have been hit on by every single Japanese male in the prefecture... and she was. Despite many being handsome devils, not one could measure up to the leggy 5'-11" brunette goddess with gorgeous curls down past her shoulder blades.
She had curves in all the right places, had a wicked smile and beautiful brown eyes that made me melt whenever I looked at her face and those gorgeous cheekbones. She was the total package, and every bit the looker.
If I thought I would have a shot before, I would have taken it.
I just figured that time in Japan would help even the odds in my favour. She had already noted that she didn't want to date a Japanese man. Preconceived notion, perhaps. Or perhaps she was just afraid of being in a relationship with a sexist pig. Hello... every single healthy heterosexual guy on the planet looks at a woman as a sex-object. Every single one of them. I was an above average healthy heterosexual guy... but despite being okay-looking, I felt that Letiticia was out of my league. Kind of like Kristine... my one woman I would give anything to have dated - as a real couple.
But here's the thing about Letiticia. Although she had only first arrived here in very late July (28th or something like that)... she had already gone back home to the USA. She had gone for a week, and was back a day ago... which was why I called her this evening.
Tonight she seems a tad giddy - or air-headed... but perhaps it's jet-lag... or maybe I make her nervous... in that good way (he's so handsome and he wants to ask me out) or the bad way (he's creepy and he wants to ask me out).
Like I said... she went home last week... and guess what? She bought ME some comic books because I said I love them... including Donald Duck - my personal favourite because he doesn't wear pants! That made Letiticia laugh and snort for the first time in her life when I mentioned that joke to her a month ago.
I don't know WHY she went home. Homesick. Needed some medical stuff done... whatever. She wasn't offering and I wasn't prying.
There's a theme isn't there?
She says she'll save them for me when I come and visit her. Is she serious? If I start riding my bicycle now, I could be there by 3AM! If I knew where the hell I was going, of course... but I'm pretty sure I could find her if I focus in on the apple blossom smell of her hair.
With Letiticia... I am in 'severe like'. I remember that I got that term from the Humber College hottie Carloyn Chaulk. She was sexy! I hope she has done well in life.
James "Jimmy Jive" Dalton (another JET newbie) calls me up with an update on the travel plans for us. He - after two months -  is already a great friend. He's the only guy on the program funnier than myself - thank god he can't write or this whole blog would be a complete waste of time and energy.
You know it takes an hour to write these blogs on MY life... but up to six when it's something special like the MISS UNIVERSE one or the one on GEISHA or SAMURAI? Word.
James says that no matter what, December 26th is our departure date. Cool! We're either on for Singapore or Thailand. If it's Thailand, I know two lucky ladies who are going to get another opportunity to spend quality time with me... and each other. James is a good-looking guy... he can find two of his own.

Somewhere Waldo is found,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by Jefferson Airplane: SLICK... plus here's the original version when Grace Slick was in The Great Society: ORIGINAL. The original is psychedelic... but it's from 1965... and not acid trippy as the later version. The Great Society version is LIVE... and the title is the same as the blog.... however, The Great Society studio version was originally called: Someone To Love.
And that's your history lesson for the day.

Talk Dirty To Me

I'm in Utsunomiya-shi with my friend and co-conspirator, Matthew Hall, to give a speech to the newcomers on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme in Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture). We're in a hotel, it's Tuesday, August 6, 1991.

I'm up at 6AM - but only to close the friggin' window in the room. It's noisy outside! I go back to sleep as my body is not enjoying the drinking activities of the night before.  Up at 7AM, I try to phone Rory... a guy who lives in Tokyo (and an ex-boyfriend of Kristine South, a woman I really like, but who lives too far away—some 500 kilometers—from my place in Ohtawara-shi (Ohtawara City).

That's the thing about Japan... as long as you know someone mutually, there's a gaijin (foreigner) network that will essentially allow one to spend a night wherever needed.

I need a place to stay tonight, as I'm heading out to the Tokyo airport tomorrow morning to fly to Thailand to meet my mom for a short vacation before we both head back to Ohtawara for a few weeks before she goes back to Toronto. Me? I've signed up for my second year on the JET Programme to teach junior high school kids English. Matthew, originally from Binghampton, NY, is in the same boat.

Rory's not in - or he's normal and won't answer a phone so early in the morning!

Matthew and I go to a French bakery with a English girl named Cathy... a first year newcomer on the Programme, who seems a bit lonely, but very friendly towards me. Cripes. Back in Toronto I couldn't get a woman to look at me... but here in Japan, I have to swat them away like flies.

Matthew and I give our speech to an enthralled/captive audience on 'Surviving Japan'. It's funny and very interesting, chock full of great stories and advice that should be utilized or not utilized—depending on one's situation. Whatever... everything worked out for us, and we're both pretty well-adjusted to living well in Japan. However... I heard that our speech raised the eyebrows of the bosses of the JET Programme for Tochigi—Arikawa-san and Kamioka-san.

Hmmm... I probably should have kept my mouth shut.

I have lunch with two gorgeous newcomers—Laurie Tiefenbach (who I thought I was going to hook up with during a party a few day's earlier... but she was sideswiped by Karen Irwin, with whom I did hook-up with) and Letiticia Todd, who is drop dead gorgeous with a great butt and awesome, dark-brown curly hair. I'm spending a bit more time describing my initial reaction towards Lettiicia for a reason, as she will be the focus of a serious blog in the future. I just want you to know that I thought she was perhaps the most beautiful, sexy woman I had yet to see on the JET Programme, excluding Kristine, of course.

After lunch, I provide a demonstration on how to do a self-introduction class... something I wish I had seen last year... or if they did demonstrate it then, I wish I had paid attention rather than concentrating on Ashley (former girlfriend and current friend with benefits). Who's kidding whom? With all of these gorgeous woman around me, this was how, and how I am going to continue to survive Japan!

Again, my self introduction speech raises quite a few eyebrows amongst the Japanese and the newcomers. I have no idea if that's good or bad... but everyone now knows prety much all there is to know about me (that I want them to know, of course).

After it's all over, I walk back to my hotel (in the rain (of course, because I'm traveling... I am the Ame Otoko - Rain Man, and it only rains when I travel).

I then take a slow JR (Japan Rail) train to Tokyo. I arrive by 6PM and try calling Rory again... who's still not in.

Still carrying my luggage, I ride to Nippori and try to get a room for the night at the Hotel d'Love. It's a love hotel. Unfortunatly, they, and the other three love hotels I visit, say I am not allowed into their rooms. At first I thought it was because i was a foreigner/gaijin... but it was quickly explained that I am not allowed into a room by myself. I can only go in with a woman or a hooker/prostitute.

For a guy who was beating women away from him several hours earlier, I don't have one handy, and consider purchasing a hooker just so I can get into the hotel for the night. But, after the success I've been having with the women here in Japan since I arrived just over a year ago, there's no way I'm paying for a woman. I'm sure if I just stand around looking sexy in the rain for a few minutes one will pick me up.

An hour later and tired of standing in the rain, I call Rory. He's in and tells me how to get to his place. It's difficult, but I make it without getting lost (two times is not lost... it's just not knowing where I am for a few minutes). Rory lives 40 minutes outside of downtown Tokyo! I'm not going to save much time in getting to the airport, but at least I get to talk to the guy.

He mets me at the train station, and because it's pouring, we grab a taxi (he paid!) and head to his place. He's a very nice guy and seems very similar in personality, and demeanor to myself. No wonder we get along! No wonder Kristin liked him and likes me!

His place is small and cramped—I think it's smaller than my living room... but he is in Tokyo, and places are all expensive and small.


We talk until midnight—about woman of all things! Okay, that was me being sarcastic. Of course we talked about women. We talked a lot about Kristine (that was me asking him stuff that I could use in a phone 'sex' conversation with her later) and then he shows me a photo album that has some photos of my special K.

No offense Kristine, but boy you were skinny in those old photos. But relax. You were too skinny. I much prefer the way you look now.

I'm physically and mentally exhausted and pass out asleep, hoping I don't snore too much to exclude me from ever staying at Rory's place again. He's so cool.

Somewhere wondering why Rory and Kristine broke up,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is brought to you by Poison: TALK 
PS: Later in another blog you can see how my writings on Kristine and Letiticia are related.