Closing Time

Sorry people... my photos from yesterday did not load... I've inserted them INTO the story, so please feel free to take a look at yesterdays blog for some nice pics of my sake bottle and cup collection. CHEERS.

Now on with today's blog entry... 

One of the cool things about living in a relatively small city like Ohtawara-shi, in Tochigi-ken Japan is that it's small enough to be cozy while still being large enough to offer all of the amenities.

Near my apartment complex - Zuiko Haitsu, a seven-story building that, back in 1990, was the tallest building in the city - I was within a five minute bicycle ride of a couple of grocery stores, a video shop, umpteen restaurants (one was located on the main floor of my apartment), and bars... which were conveniently located maybe a good four minute stagger from my apartment.

Unlike here in Canada, if you are four minutes away from a bar, you're going to hear a lot of raucous music and drunken behaviour. In Japan, that sort of behaviour is done relatively quietly, and probably only gets out of hand when the gaijin (foreigners) are involved. I'm looking at you, Matthew. Just kidding of course. Both Matthew, myself (and Ashley), we may have had one too many often enough, but we tended to keep our vocal adrenalin out of the limelight - afterall, being on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme, we weren't just visitors to Japan, we were representatives of our respective countries.

Still... that didn't stop us from going out and tying one or four on while off duty.

Y'see... we were just doing what the Japanese do.

As mentioned ad nauseum in these blogs - and you've probably already heard of it before visiting here, the Japanese tend to work long hours. It is disrespectful to the company you work for to finish work and leave before the boss does. If the boss can stay and work late, so too can you. 

I know, I know... it makes me want to vomit up my beer just thinking about that. And I'm not even drinking a beer.

Of course... there's always the possibility of the boss catching a nap in his or her (sorry, that's funny... a female boss in Japan!) office... and the employees waiting  patiently outside for their hard-working boss to leave so they can leave too.

Tricky bosses aside, there's also karoshi - which means, death from overwork - and as bizarre as it sounds to most of us, this is a a concern in Japan. But that's not what we're here to talk about.

After work, let's go have a drink.

This is not just a once in a blue-moon thing, or even once a week-thing... it's something workers do everyday after work. Of course, at the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education), if they did, I wasn't invited, probably because I didn't stick around long enough to go drinking... working my standard 9-5 routine because that's what gaijin are used to - and we are.

Going to a nomiya (an old-style Japanese tavern - as opposed to a western-style meat market or pub) is something Japanese workers (and gaijin) look forward to - as kind of a reward for their days efforts (okay, maybe not the gaijin).

I asked Kanemaru-san (one of my OBOE bosses who was responsible for my overall well-being while in Japan) what's up with that.

Apparently, forget about going home to the wife and kids, having a drink or two helps the Japanese relax, get some co-worker bonding in and really, not have to go home to the wife and kids.

If you are in Japan and looking for a nomiya... look for the red lantern (aka chochin) hanging out front in the doorway. Now, I always though the red light was used to show that there was a prostitute available (see the POLICE) but I see that in Japan it means you can come in and have an inexpensive drink. 

Somewhere looking for the red light special,

Andrew Joseph

Today's blog title is song by Semisonic: CLOSING TIME 

PS - that's two blogs in a row about drinking. I don't really drink anymore, but thanks for asking.

Knocking At Your Back Door

So... welcome to the second year of me blogging. It has been that long.
And if you see below, I'm only three weeks into the adventure! Ha! Just kidding. I am backtracking!
happy Anniversary to us - thanks for reading along!

Okay, it's Tuesday, August 21, 1990... I'm at the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education )writing letters to people in the hope beyond hope that someone - anyone - will actually write back. despite being blessed with a good friend in Matthew Hall and a beautiful girlfriend in Ashley Benning - plus an awesome bunch of folks at my OBOE, I'm homesick.
I'm 25 - nearly 26 - and it's the first time in my life I've been away from my Mother, Father and brother Ben. "Oh boo-hoo. Grow up," I hear you cry. I have and I am... but it's always good to know that people aren't completely forgetting about you.
Anyhow, Iso-san (Mister Iso) comes over to tell me that Iso-san (Miss Iso) - uh, no relation, I think - will be showing me how to cook - in fact she would be coming to my apartment right after lunch. Great. I think.
This all goes back to the fact that I like to tell jokes to ease the awkwardness of social silence... I can't stand it when there's a lull in the conversation... which is why I'm always talking - especially if you aren't. Sortta a "Quit talking while I'm interrupting" kind of thing.
Yesterday I had told my office about my dramatic weight loss (6kg) since arriving, and then in a speech I may have mentioned that I have no idea how to cook (but didn't get the expected laugh). I also mentioned that I had no concept of how to do laundry... it all appears to have backfired on me - although, I have lost weight, have no idea how to cook or do laundry - I was just joking around, not whining about it. I figured I'd eventually learn how to do everything - even learn to speak the language. I'm only here for a year, right? How hard could it be?
At 11AM, we all head over to my apartment--apparently the Japanese to English dictionary used by Mr. Iso confused "before" lunch with "after." As well, 'Miss Iso' apparently means the whole office - all nine of them. I am so glad I had tidied up a bit before going to work by throwing away the condom wrappers and hanging up the wet quilt - don't ask.
Anyhow, they showed me how to cook lunch - which only took 1-1/2 hours. Not bad... but it's not like I'm ever going to spend 1-1/2 hours doing anything that doesn't involve a women.
All nine office members did come to my office - but only the three women were actually showing me how to cook... I asked Kanemaru-san about it, and he said he didn't know how to cook because he's a man - and he was so proud of me for not knowing how to cook. He also said he was embarrassed for me that they were trying to teach me how to cook. I told him not to worry - the only thing I've written down is this story.
He laughed and slapped me on the back. Friends for life.
After the lesson, (what about the laundry?!) we all head back to the office. Hanazaki-san tells me that tomorrow I will visit three schools. That's awesome. I've been in Japan for three weeks and I've yet to see what a Japanese school looks like.
In all honesty, since all I've done in my brief time in this country is get lost, I'm reluctant to strike out on my own too much. Despite the number of people I've been exposed to in Japan who seem to speak English, there are a lot more who don't... like everyone at the grocery store, the bank, the restaurants... what have I gotten myself into? I just need time, right? besides, both Matthew and Ashley appear to be handling things far better than I - at least as far as the language/communication thing goes. I really should have studied before arriving here - I'll start soon.
Anyway, I don;t really care too much about tomorrow - I only care about what's going on when I get home.
At 5:05PM I race home. It's probably incredibly bad form - but I'm a gaijin. Let me explain. In Japan, workers do not leave their workplace until the boss does - to do so is incredible shameful... I'm not sure what happens if you do, because aside from myself and other gaijin, I don't think any Japanese folk have ever tried to leave "on time".
I leave - forget about becoming Japanese - these people need to know how things work in Canada! Actually, Hanazaki-san said to go home because Ashley must be waiting for me. Okay - how the heck does he know that? I did pick up all of the condom wrappers didn't I? It's only been two nights since I... you know.
Anyhow... we cook our spaghetti dinner together... she puts on a tonne of garlic, I add the tonne of pepper (I had once heard that one of active ingredients in the aphrodisiac Spanish Fly is pepper - it's what I heard once)
... we add a chunk of butter and melt in some gouda and cheddar. We pig out and then get busy.
Of course, that phone keeps ringing off the hook. Heck, the doorbell even rings - persistently - and I know who it is before I open it. It's Matthew. No offense, but why DID I open the door?
Anyhow, after Matthew sees me peering through the chained front door sans shirt, he was nice enough and smart enough to realize something was up and left, asking me "why the heck did you answer the door?"
At around 1AM, we stop sleeping with each other to get some sleep. I am exhausted and really need to remember to bring my camera with me tomorrow.

Somewhere leaving before the boss,

Andrew Joseph
Today's Title is by Deep Purple and means what ever you think it means, especially if one of those thoughts involves people knocking on your door. KNOCKING.
PS - The photo is a sculpture by Auguste Rodin entitled the Gates of Hell based on my favourite book/poem Inferno by Dante Alighieri. One of three casts made from the original, this one sits at the National Museum of Western Art in Ueno Park, Tokyo.Visit this Wikipedia site for MORE. Look at this - art history mixed in with my blog! And yes, I did choose to have someone in the photo - just to get the impression of size.
PPS - Ashley taught me how to use the washing machine.
PPPS - And no, I didn't mind people knocking on my door - it means people haven't forgotten about you here in Japan.

Substitute

Konnichiwa (Hello). How are you? I'm fine thank-you. An-do-ryu? Ha-ha! Itsu my joke. I say instead 'How are you!
My-on-aise is Takashi Tsuruno. Mis-ta An-do-ryu is on bacation andu hasu asked me to fill his oki (large) shoes. Thirty centimetres. Sugoi, ne (cool, huh?)
He didn't tell me what to write, except he say to make it funny. I think I will perhaps I will try to do my best. Maybe.
What do you like sports? Maybe basu-ball will be funny, but I don'to like basu-ballu bery much. I like the Tokyo Giants.
Sumo I hate. Bigu hate. I like Takanohana and Wakanohana and Chyonofuji. I don'to like Musahshimaru, Konishiki or Akebono. I don'to know why. Mr. An-do-ryo once told me that when the gaijin sumo players (last three mentioned) win a game, you can'to hear the crickets because they are Japanese crickets. He thinks the Japanese crickets only like Takanohana and Wakanohana, too. Of course. They are bery handsome boys.
Let'su have a conbersation together with soccer. I like soccer bery much. I play soccer when I was in a junior high school student. I play soccer ebery day. I play bench. I like soccer bery much. I like the new J-Reague bery much.
I like their hairstyles bery much. Kak-ko-ii, ne (cool, eh)? I want to cut my hair like Kazu (Kazuyoshi Miura, Japanese soccer player and 1993 Asian Player of the Year)... but, my mazur (???? oh, he means 'mother') says: Dame! (No way!). She says no one in my office has hair like that, so i can't either. She's right, I suppose. Besides I can'to afford the hair-care products.
Isn't the new J-Reague great? I went to see the soccer game in Utsonomiya (Tochigi-ken's capital city south of Ohtawara) on June 30 (1993). My mazur made me some food. I ate some tako-yaki (octopus balls, though no testicles... like the Chinese chicken balls, ya perv). I had a beeru. I had some O-zushi (sushi) and another beeru. Then I had some shiokara (squid guts) and a beeru and some ikka (squid) tempura (tempura) and a beeru. Oishiiiiiiiii! (tastyyyyyyyy!). Eberything always tastes better at the stadium.
I bought a nice basu-ballu cap and a shirt with a killa whale (it's not so tasty, but we have heard it is a part of Japanese tradition, so we have to kill it and eat it), some key chains with all of the team mascots on them that I gave as meibutsu (non-food presents) to my office workers who were with me at the game. I also purchased some bean paste in the shape of a soccer ball for omiyage (food-based presents) that I gave to my boss because he let me sit four seats to the right of him when everyone knew I should have been five seats away. He is a bery goodu boss.
At half-time when the raser (laser) light show and dancers were on, I went to one of the gift shops and bought some nice flags to wave (I hope I didn't block anyone's view!). I also got some some bumper stickers that look cute, but I can't put on my new white car, or else I won't get full trade-in value when I get rid of it next year.
The game was bery excited. My office was doing the 'wave'. We had to. Eberyone else was. We didn't want to stand out like a gaijin. I don'to remember who won, because I don'to know who was playing. There were, however, lots of deer horns and JR train men pointing at invisible signs (Kashima Antlers vs. JEF United, I believe). I like Mitsubishi Red Diamonds best because I have a white Mitsubishi car. All my friends have one. I think we work for Mitusbishi. Okay. I am finished now. Bai-bai.

Someone else,
Tsuruno Taka-san.
Title by The Who. I ask Mr. An-do-ryo who sings. He says 'Exactly' and then laughs. I don'to get it. Stupid gaijin jodan (foreigner joke).
PS - Photo - that's Mis-ta An-do-ryu on bacation in Saipan. I think we took over that island in WWII.