Pop Goes The World

So... after a late night of binge drinking after I gave my speech to the people of Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, Japan, I am up at 6:30 in the freaking morning and not very happy.



I have to be in Utsunomiya-shi (Utsunomiya is the capital city of Tochigi-ken) by 9AM so that I can participate in some stupid JET international dance festival dreamt up by some tea-totaler with a-way too much free time on their hands.



I'm an assistant English teacher on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme, and have been in Japan for 15 months - and to quote Maxwell Smart (of the TV show Get Smart  - here's the opening CREDIT - god help me but I have all 5 seasons on DVD!): "And... loving it!".



Matthew, who is also a junior high school teacher like myself lives in my city, but he teaches all of the schools outside the city limits, while I have the ones inside.

Matthew, is participating... it's odd... Matthew didn't do a whole lot of participating during the first year because he was very busy chasing skirts, but he's making a big effort these past few months, as a leader... trying to help all of the other newly arrived foreigners here in Tochigi adjust. I guess we're both trying to do our part.



Anyhow... that bugger is late arriving at my apartment! He was with me last night and we were neck and neck to see who was going to have the most to drink. No one won.



Since he's late, we have to ride our bicycles like the wind to the eki (train station) in nearby Nishinasuno-machi (Nishinasuno Town). The speed at which we ride is impressive for two people who drained a bar only a few hours ago... and it makes me sweat and my knees hurt.



Just so you know... the actual dance is happening tomorrow. This is our second rehearsal.



We arrive in time for the rehearsal, which goes well. I still don't like the entire set-up. Can-can for the French, Hula for the Americans, and line-dancing for Canadians like me. I hate the dances! I'm only here to meet people.



Afterwards, we have a JET meeting to decide who should be the Tochigi-ken head representative. Susan St. Cyr abdicated last Saturday and told everyone that Gail would take over... but Gail had never even been asked by anyone, nor had she ever expressed any interest in taking over. One last screw up before leaving for Susan.



We elect Jeanne Mance Blanc from Sherbrooke, Quebec works. She is an AET on the JET Programme too, and while she lives in an apartment above Ashley (my ex-girlfriend whom I am still sleeping with. It's not that complex, really, and it something everyone should continue doing with their ex).



Jeanne is a junior high school AET like Matthew & myself, and works at the Tochigi Board of Education (Ohtawara Branch).

Jeanne was elected because nobody else wanted it. She thought I really wanted it and was surprised when I turned the offer down. besides being busy with the editorship of the Tochigi newsletter, The Tatami Times, I'm not technically a member of AJET anymore. Hmmm... I wonder how that would have gone down... me the head of the Tochigi AJET, but not a member of AJET. Hell... I should have accepted just to see what sort of trouble that would have caused... but to be honest... I'm not really an organizer... I'm a participant who takes over as a leader.



I have a couple of beers with Matthew and head for home. Ashley had left earlier so she could take part in a badminton tournament. Good for her. I had no idea she even knew what badminton was, let alone could play. I suppose that's a small reason for us not being a couple anymore... but then... getting information out of her was like pulling teeth. Getting information out of me... well... you're reading this so you know how easy it is to get information out of me.



Back in Ohtawara, Matthew and I ride to the local video store (it's immense... think about the largest video store you have ever seen and then double it in size... unless the largest one you have ever seen is the one in Ohatawara, in which case, don't double it in size).



I call up Ashley at 6PM. Apparently, she's just on her way out to go back down to Utsunomiya for a girl's night out.

Before hanging up, she blurts out that she found out this afternoon that one of her students at Ohtawara Boys High School attempted to kill himself last night after school.



She's very vague on the details (and I never ever found out any more... let's just say this sort of stuff was never discussed at my OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education) office. Heck... I asked, but even the effervescent Hanazaki-san was reluctant to tell me anything, except to confirm that the attempt did indeed happen).

Ashley didn't really know the student, but she thinks she may have been the last person to so see him before he made his attempt. She was pretty upset. Poor stupid kid. I hope he gets the help he needs.



Off the phone, I play video games until 12AM and then head out alone to the 4C for a couple of vodka-based drinks... six of them. That's a couple, right?



Somewhere in a haze,

Andrew Joseph

Today's blog title is by: Men Without Hats, a Montreal, Canada group I used to like when I had hair with a a lot of hairspray - POP

Hungry Eyes

Today, Monday, August 5, 1991, John, Matthew and myself travel down south to the capital of Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), Utsunomya-shi (Utsunomiya City).

Like myself, Matthew is an assistant English teacher (AET) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme living in Ohtawara. Matthew is originally from Binghamton, NY, while I am from Toronto. We are just beginning our second year on the Programme.

John is a friend of mine visiting for a few weeks from Toronto. I'm unsure if he's having a good time or not, but he is seeing some of the sights.

Arriving at noon, it is obvious that John is unimpressed by the big city. To be fair, it's not that spectacular, especially for someone from a large cosmopolitan city like Toronto. But for Matthew & myself, after living in the tiny city of 50,000 people in Ohtawara, it's always a breath of fresh air.

Matthew & I head off to our AET meetings and get to greet the vice-governor—I guess we're not important enough to meet the governor. After, we just pretty much just vegetate while the seminars drone on and on and on.
After the official reception hosted by the vice-governor, some of the new guys who have just arrived in Tochigi-ken on JET, as us about some of the women here on the Programme.

These guys have incorrectly assumed I know all about women. Still, I can tell them that for all of the gorgeous looks of Sienna, on of the second-years JETs, I find her to be phony, and that she's not worth your time and effort.

And this is coming from a guy who does think she is beautiful, but man... unless Ashley was telling her everything wrong about me, she doesn't know me at all. And, to be honest, I don't know her either except that in every dealing I've had with her, it's been a pain in the butt. She wants this or that and failure to get her way causes a snit.

I'm outspoken - yes. But I always let the majority rule. I'm not a leader here in JET, but I am looked up to by people because, even though I don't speak much Japanese or know how to find my way any where, I am very well liked and respected by the locals. It must be my sunny disposition... or maybe it's their sunny disposition that puts a smile on my face.

At the reception, Karen, a newcomer—a very white, freckly redhead, cute with big boobs—has glommed onto me. People are expecting her to be my next conquest, and I admit, I am expecting that too. But... I just got out of an emotionally draining relationship with Ashley (who remains a friend with benefits) and out of a relationship with a female stalker (Junko). Only a man would sleep with his female stalker.

Anyhow... her supervisor is there at the function. She has apparently told him that she and I were once married, and are now divorced. It's to explain why she is so friendly towards me, so she doesn't look like a slut. I understand that rationale, as women are looked upon differently from their male counterparts here. I could sleep with 100 women and all of the men would be jealous but wouldn't care... but if a woman sleeps with a guy... she's a slut.

To be honest, that's what the women think... and to a certain degree they are correct... but the Japanese people I know don't have that attitude.

For example... Ashley. She was my girlfriend and we were together, if you know what I mean. Everyone in the whole city knew that. When we were apart, every woman in the city knew I was available and came calling on me. Ashley, however, would tell her bosses that she was single and just friends with me.

According to my bosses (Hanazaki-san and Kanemaru-san), her bosses would often come over and chat with them. Obviously our relationship would come up, and all would chortle with glee when they would repeat how Ashley kept trying to convince them that she and I were just friends.They knew she was lying to protect herself. My bosses knew she was my girlfriend. She was always with me—not Matthew. We go out drinking or for dinner. They see her enter my place and leave at all hours of the day and night. We were together. The whole town knew it! I think even Ashley knew it, but she at least tried to maintain a little face.

I'm not 100 per cent sure... but there are differing rules for men and women... but also for Japanese women and gaijin (foreigner) women. It's not rules, per se... just expectations. Even though everyone knew I was with Ashley, and she with me... no one ever said one single rude word to either of us about any inpropriety. Number One, I wouldn't have stood for that; and Number Two... no one was ever going to say anything negative to me.

That's not just ego. It's the type of relationship I had with my bosses, friends and the whole damn country of Japan. I was Ferris Bueller, and I could do no wrong.

Ashley was quiet, and did not show off her relationship with me (for all of the above-mentioned reasons). Karen, however, aside from being all over me and saying I was married previously to her... uh, no. That's not going to fly. I had Japanese folk come up and ask me quietly if that was true. They asked in English... I'm not going to lie. I tell them the truth.

They want to know why Karen would say something like that. I smile, say in my broken Japanese: "Taban chotto yopparai... toh baka! (Maybe a little drunk... and stupid!)". I get the appropriate laugh and a nod of understanding. One or two of the Japanese supervisors there then ask me if Ashley-sensei and I are over?

How to explain the concept of friend-with-benefits? I just say yes, because that's true.


Back to Karen and her being yopparai or bakka:

Karen is feeding me food with her own chopsticks. While already deft with the chopsticks after a few days here (I assume she knew from before), she is making a serious breach in protocol. It's just not cool to feed anyone (especially your ex-husband) food from your chopsticks. I'd tell Karen, but I enjoy being fed... and besides, she's completely drunk already on a couple of beers. A cheap date.
Actually... no one knows how much one drinks here in Japan as every time you take a sip or two, someone comes around to re-fill the glass. Karen and her effervescent personalty (big boobs) makes the Japanese men continue to top her up, hoping she'll be drunk enough to be unable to fend off a quick feel-up.

Apparently, I'm not drunk, but it doesn't stop me from being felt up by Karen..and someone else did too... but she ran off before I could see.

Later, Matthew and I lead a whole bunch of us to a beer garden (bar on a roof that has a couple of potted plants on it). Now, I'm toasted... as is everyone else who is trying. I drink even more than I need to, provide another foot massage to the ever giggling Karen who must like the attention, and try to answer as many questions as possible about Japan (for the women) and women (for the men). 
  
Despite the antics of Karen (and myself), they seem to believe me.

This is when a young man from England, Alan, comes to me for some advice on how to be polite in Japanese culture. I tell him about the word what (nani) and how to make it more polite (o-nani). You can read what I did to that poor guy HERE.

After more drinks and a bean skin fight, we all head off to yet another bar, having a great time—these newcomers are all pretty relaxed, friendly and cool. I like each and every single one of them. Seriously... I couldn't spot an ego in the bunch!

At midnight, I head back to my hotel--leaving a whole bunch of them there. Where the hell did we leave John? Oh yeah... he hung out with his friend Barbara.

At the hotel, I wake up from a drunken stupor realizing that it's now too late to call Rory to ask him for a place to crash tomorrow night in Tokyo. Rory is the ex-boyfriend of Kristine—another woman on the JET Programme... but one whom I desperately find attractive and, if we weren't separated by some 500 kilometers, I would be seeing on a regular basis. Well... that's how I feel. She just might want a friend with benefits.  

Whatever... at least I have a very good friend... and if I can meet up with Rory.... maybe I can find out more about Kristine...

Oh yeah... Karen follows me back to the hotel, kisses me long and hard and rubs her self against me (or was that me against her)... I roll her up to her hotel room... use her pass key to open the door... and push her inside. She wants me to join her... but I don't want to take advantage of her when she's drunk.

Who is this guy?

Somewhere I have a chopstick splinter in my lip,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by: Eric Carmen... the song was featured in the movie DIRTY DANCING. It was a good movie I hear, and I really should watch it for the first time one of these days.