Big In Japan

Today is Tuesday, October 8, 1991.



I'm an assistant English teacher (AET) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme living in the sleepy city of Ohtawara (about 200 kilometres north of Tokyo) in the prefecture of Tochigi, Japan.



It's my last day of work at Ohtawara Chu Gakko (Ohtawara Junior High School), as I have permission to attend a team-teaching demonstration put on by my friend Matthew tomorrow, and then on Thursday, I'm on a short vacation to Sendai with my ex-girlfriend, but current friend-with-benefits, Ashley.



I have no idea why we are going away on a vacation together. It was her idea. As mentioned, while I can have a dominant personality and can get lots of people to do what I want, I prefer that they decide what they want to do, and if I agree, then I can get everyone else to do it. Control without being the known leader, I suppose. God I hate being introspective, sometimes.



Or, in this case... Ashley asked, I, like a good little puppy dog who is still in love or lust or severe like with her, readily agrees. I assume there will be sex. After all... we're friends - with benefits... and the only important benefit I know of from being anywhere with one's ex-girlfriend, is sex.



Going on a vacation together with someone who is your ex... well, isn't that what couples do... or just friends... not friends-with-benefits!



If I still had any blood left in my brain, I would have not gone with Ashley tomorrow... but I'm thinking about sex, and I'm thinking that her asking me to accompany her means she wants to get back together. Right? Am I right? I'm not sure...



It's still raining today.   Like yesterday, I help the kids with some English listening comprehension tests to help them prepare for a big exam. It's still fun, and it's still very much interesting to me.



However, lunch is quiet as the class I eat with lacks the guts or gumption to talk to me... although one young boy (this is a 3rd year class - Grade 9's), Suzuki-san is always peppering me with interesting questions. He's always a pleasure to talk to at this school...



Kanemaru-san and Hanazaki-san drop by the school while Suzuki-san and I are talking (that's lucky... show's I can talk to the kids!). Those two old guys (who are about as old as I am now in 2011 - 46), are my bosses/supervisors with the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education). Two nicer men I have yet to meet on this planet.



They bring along (from the teacher's lounge), Shibata-sensei, the young, hip, good-looking English teacher  who has all the female students swooning after him. Along with being brilliant and charming and funny, Shibata-sensei is also one heck of a good English speaker and very quick translator.



I'm telling... I got very lucky to be posted - or chosen - in this city. Actually... I think the Board offices get a say on who they want. I think Hanazaki-san once told me that they liked the fact I was a journalist with the Toronto Star newspaper... one of North America's best newspapers. I'll admit it was a selling point.



The three of them tell me that I have to pay a personal and city tax. Nertz.



On the plus side, the OBOE says they will cover that for me. They will put the money directly into my bank account (The Ashikaga Ginko (Ashikaga Bank), Ohtawara Branch) for me. That money will then be withdrawn by them to pay the two tax bills.



That is so cool of the OBOE. I also like how they came in person to tell me, rather than just calling up Shibata-sensei to tell me.



I go home, write a letter and relax. It's still bloody raining. I hope it won't tomorrow when a score of other AETs will be coming here to Ohtawara to watch Matthew do his team-teaching demonstration. Cripes... I hope my OBOE doesn't see too much of a disparity between what he does and what I does... otherwise they might actually make me do real work!



I watch some television and crash to bed at 12AM.



Oh... Karen Irwin called. She's a new AET (high school AET like Ashley - so she won't be there at Matthews demo) living in Yaita-shi (City of Yaita), 10 kiometers to the south. She's originally from North Bay, Ont... and arrived here two months ago. In that time she has made it clear that she would like us to slow down (IE no sex!), became buddy-buddy with my visiting mother going on little trips together, and even went on a 3-day trip to Nikko-shi (Nikko City) with Ashley.



I don't know what they talked about... the ex, and the girl who would eventually be my ex, if I let her (all women everywhere could eventually be my ex-girlfriend if they try hard enough).... but this evening... it is apparent that they talked.



Karen seemed to know a little too much about me. My mother - while she did like Karen very much - was no dummy, and I know she would never tell anyone anything about me. Ashley... she might, seeing as who we weren't together anymore... I expect that Karen would want to know the ugly stuff. Me being moody and crap like that. Truth is... I was only moody after Ashley caused me to be moody. But Ashley doesn't know that... and neither does Karen.



Karen attempts to psychoanalyse me. Really? This chick is going to try and get inside MY head? I'm already onto her clumsy attempts about 15 seconds into our telephone conversation! For me... this is like a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.



Because I know what she's doing - and why (she wants to know what makes me tick, and why Ashley and I broke up - perhaps so she can avoid the same mistakes), she pisses me off.



You know what led to Ashley and I breaking up? It was her pissing me off. Congratulations Karen. You've managed to piss me off even before we've become boyfriend/girlfriend. I guess there'll be no sex, now. Crap.



Regardless of the tempest raging inside my skull... I play it cagey and play it cool. She has no idea just how angry I am.



It's the real reason why I go to bed early today. I lie there and wonder...



Okay... Ashley came back from her trip to Nikko with Karen in a bitchy mood. Karen is acting inquisitive towards me. That means that Ashley knows Karen and I made out. It also means she knows Karen wants to go out with me... and if I know Karen, she probably asked Ashley if that was okay.



That probably put Ashley in a bad mood. It could also explain why Ashley suddenly asked me if I wanted to accompany her to Sendai... it's a little jealous revenge thing against Karen... who I don't think knows that Ashley and I are still sleeping together on occasion.



Great... all I need now are more women to start talking with each other about. That could never happen, right? Am I right? Even I don't want to think about the real answer.



Somewhere thinking about tomorrow and tomorrow,

Andrew Joseph

Today's blog title is by Alphaville: BIG  Lyrics are right below the video.

Call Me

This is the evening portion of Friday, September 6, 1991 for your not-quite so humble author, Andrew Joseph, an assistant English teacher on the JET (Japan Exchange &Teaching) Programme living in Ohtawara City, Tochigi Prefecture, Japan.

For what I did yesterday during the day, read THIS blog.

It's now 5PM, and I leave my Ohtawara Board of Education (OBOE) office, go home, relax and wait for Shoko to telephone me to tell me when and where to meet for our first date.

Shoko is the very pretty young lady who takes a night school English conversation class I teach for fun and small profit. I have my OBOE's blessing to do so, as they understand profit, and understand that it's good for a gaijin (foreigner) to be out there teaching more and more people how to converse in English. Teaching Shoko English could also be good for one particular gaijin.

Matthew, a fellow partner-in-crime AET living in Ohtawara nearby keeps calling me every 20 minutes or so to see if Shoko has called--but Shoko does not call. Or if she has, I've missed it because my phone lacks call-waiting (not sure if that was invented by 1991) or an answering machine.

Rather than just do nothing, I write a letter to a former student of mine at the night school class and one to my little brother Ben, who has helped keep me sane (such that it is) by taping tons of television shows. (Ben won an Emmy in 1999 for his writing skills on the kids animated program Rolie Polie Olie. HERE's an episode, though not one he wrote.)

When I head out to the mail box to drop off the letters, I fear that Shoko will call. But... she'll call again if she misses me, right?

By 11PM, still no Shoko. Matthew calls again at 12AM and asks if I want to go to our local hangout bar, the 4C. Sure.

Mutual friend Kevin is there. he tells me that Shoko was there earlier and tried to phone me. Figures.

I have six beers, feel bloated and toasty and head home convinced that im my last life I must have been one right royal bastard to have such wonderful luck like this.

Somewhere cursing a whole pantheon of gods,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog is brought to you by Blondie: COLOURME
PS: So... Shoko only did call once. Or she called 20 times and I was either on the phone or out dropping off the mail. I'm the architect of my own demise. I don't have her number... because I didn't want her to feel awkward in case she didn't want a second date and I did. I wonder if there ever will be a first date? Too bad... I had a fresh box of condoms all ready to try out and had washed all my bedroom sheets. I was never a Boy Scout, but there's nothing wrong with being prepared.

Hungry Eyes

Today, Monday, August 5, 1991, John, Matthew and myself travel down south to the capital of Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), Utsunomya-shi (Utsunomiya City).

Like myself, Matthew is an assistant English teacher (AET) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme living in Ohtawara. Matthew is originally from Binghamton, NY, while I am from Toronto. We are just beginning our second year on the Programme.

John is a friend of mine visiting for a few weeks from Toronto. I'm unsure if he's having a good time or not, but he is seeing some of the sights.

Arriving at noon, it is obvious that John is unimpressed by the big city. To be fair, it's not that spectacular, especially for someone from a large cosmopolitan city like Toronto. But for Matthew & myself, after living in the tiny city of 50,000 people in Ohtawara, it's always a breath of fresh air.

Matthew & I head off to our AET meetings and get to greet the vice-governor—I guess we're not important enough to meet the governor. After, we just pretty much just vegetate while the seminars drone on and on and on.
After the official reception hosted by the vice-governor, some of the new guys who have just arrived in Tochigi-ken on JET, as us about some of the women here on the Programme.

These guys have incorrectly assumed I know all about women. Still, I can tell them that for all of the gorgeous looks of Sienna, on of the second-years JETs, I find her to be phony, and that she's not worth your time and effort.

And this is coming from a guy who does think she is beautiful, but man... unless Ashley was telling her everything wrong about me, she doesn't know me at all. And, to be honest, I don't know her either except that in every dealing I've had with her, it's been a pain in the butt. She wants this or that and failure to get her way causes a snit.

I'm outspoken - yes. But I always let the majority rule. I'm not a leader here in JET, but I am looked up to by people because, even though I don't speak much Japanese or know how to find my way any where, I am very well liked and respected by the locals. It must be my sunny disposition... or maybe it's their sunny disposition that puts a smile on my face.

At the reception, Karen, a newcomer—a very white, freckly redhead, cute with big boobs—has glommed onto me. People are expecting her to be my next conquest, and I admit, I am expecting that too. But... I just got out of an emotionally draining relationship with Ashley (who remains a friend with benefits) and out of a relationship with a female stalker (Junko). Only a man would sleep with his female stalker.

Anyhow... her supervisor is there at the function. She has apparently told him that she and I were once married, and are now divorced. It's to explain why she is so friendly towards me, so she doesn't look like a slut. I understand that rationale, as women are looked upon differently from their male counterparts here. I could sleep with 100 women and all of the men would be jealous but wouldn't care... but if a woman sleeps with a guy... she's a slut.

To be honest, that's what the women think... and to a certain degree they are correct... but the Japanese people I know don't have that attitude.

For example... Ashley. She was my girlfriend and we were together, if you know what I mean. Everyone in the whole city knew that. When we were apart, every woman in the city knew I was available and came calling on me. Ashley, however, would tell her bosses that she was single and just friends with me.

According to my bosses (Hanazaki-san and Kanemaru-san), her bosses would often come over and chat with them. Obviously our relationship would come up, and all would chortle with glee when they would repeat how Ashley kept trying to convince them that she and I were just friends.They knew she was lying to protect herself. My bosses knew she was my girlfriend. She was always with me—not Matthew. We go out drinking or for dinner. They see her enter my place and leave at all hours of the day and night. We were together. The whole town knew it! I think even Ashley knew it, but she at least tried to maintain a little face.

I'm not 100 per cent sure... but there are differing rules for men and women... but also for Japanese women and gaijin (foreigner) women. It's not rules, per se... just expectations. Even though everyone knew I was with Ashley, and she with me... no one ever said one single rude word to either of us about any inpropriety. Number One, I wouldn't have stood for that; and Number Two... no one was ever going to say anything negative to me.

That's not just ego. It's the type of relationship I had with my bosses, friends and the whole damn country of Japan. I was Ferris Bueller, and I could do no wrong.

Ashley was quiet, and did not show off her relationship with me (for all of the above-mentioned reasons). Karen, however, aside from being all over me and saying I was married previously to her... uh, no. That's not going to fly. I had Japanese folk come up and ask me quietly if that was true. They asked in English... I'm not going to lie. I tell them the truth.

They want to know why Karen would say something like that. I smile, say in my broken Japanese: "Taban chotto yopparai... toh baka! (Maybe a little drunk... and stupid!)". I get the appropriate laugh and a nod of understanding. One or two of the Japanese supervisors there then ask me if Ashley-sensei and I are over?

How to explain the concept of friend-with-benefits? I just say yes, because that's true.


Back to Karen and her being yopparai or bakka:

Karen is feeding me food with her own chopsticks. While already deft with the chopsticks after a few days here (I assume she knew from before), she is making a serious breach in protocol. It's just not cool to feed anyone (especially your ex-husband) food from your chopsticks. I'd tell Karen, but I enjoy being fed... and besides, she's completely drunk already on a couple of beers. A cheap date.
Actually... no one knows how much one drinks here in Japan as every time you take a sip or two, someone comes around to re-fill the glass. Karen and her effervescent personalty (big boobs) makes the Japanese men continue to top her up, hoping she'll be drunk enough to be unable to fend off a quick feel-up.

Apparently, I'm not drunk, but it doesn't stop me from being felt up by Karen..and someone else did too... but she ran off before I could see.

Later, Matthew and I lead a whole bunch of us to a beer garden (bar on a roof that has a couple of potted plants on it). Now, I'm toasted... as is everyone else who is trying. I drink even more than I need to, provide another foot massage to the ever giggling Karen who must like the attention, and try to answer as many questions as possible about Japan (for the women) and women (for the men). 
  
Despite the antics of Karen (and myself), they seem to believe me.

This is when a young man from England, Alan, comes to me for some advice on how to be polite in Japanese culture. I tell him about the word what (nani) and how to make it more polite (o-nani). You can read what I did to that poor guy HERE.

After more drinks and a bean skin fight, we all head off to yet another bar, having a great time—these newcomers are all pretty relaxed, friendly and cool. I like each and every single one of them. Seriously... I couldn't spot an ego in the bunch!

At midnight, I head back to my hotel--leaving a whole bunch of them there. Where the hell did we leave John? Oh yeah... he hung out with his friend Barbara.

At the hotel, I wake up from a drunken stupor realizing that it's now too late to call Rory to ask him for a place to crash tomorrow night in Tokyo. Rory is the ex-boyfriend of Kristine—another woman on the JET Programme... but one whom I desperately find attractive and, if we weren't separated by some 500 kilometers, I would be seeing on a regular basis. Well... that's how I feel. She just might want a friend with benefits.  

Whatever... at least I have a very good friend... and if I can meet up with Rory.... maybe I can find out more about Kristine...

Oh yeah... Karen follows me back to the hotel, kisses me long and hard and rubs her self against me (or was that me against her)... I roll her up to her hotel room... use her pass key to open the door... and push her inside. She wants me to join her... but I don't want to take advantage of her when she's drunk.

Who is this guy?

Somewhere I have a chopstick splinter in my lip,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by: Eric Carmen... the song was featured in the movie DIRTY DANCING. It was a good movie I hear, and I really should watch it for the first time one of these days.