Dream A Little Dream Of Me

Here's an addendum to this past week-ends activities.

On Friday, June 21, 1991 while staying over at Susan St. Cyr's place with my ex-girlfriend Ashley in Utsunimiya-shi (Utsonomiya City - the capital city of Tochigi Prefecture), I had a dream.

I'm sure I dream all the time - but it's pretty rare that I actually remember them at all.

In my dream I was standing in a corridor. It was raining outside. I was waiting for a Japanese girl that was supposed to meet and talk with me.

That's it. That was the whole dream. I never saw her. I have no idea who I was supposed to meet or why.

But, here's the interesting thing. The next morning while standing around Tokyo-eki (Tokyo train station), Ashley, Susan, David and I were awaiting a bus to take us to Tokyo Disneyland. My three traveling compatriots (all Americans - not that it's important) all had to find the washroom, leaving this lone Canadian with the iron kidneys holding our place in line... not that there was a line. It was just me and no one else.

And then it happened. Exactly as I dreamed.


I don't even know how she saw me. I was shielded, by a newsstand, but still looking forward towards the road.

She was walking very fast.

Still... she walked right past me without even a glance.

Then she stopped.

Turned.

Smiled.

And walked towards me.

We exchanged pleasantries in both Japanese and English, as well as our names. And then it was over.

We said good-bye.

We smiled at each other.

That's it. It was like I just had to be there for her. That was my purpose - daring to go on a trip with my ex-girlfriend while a woman who adored me was back in my home town of Ohtawara-shi (Ohtawara City).

I had to be there for this woman who said her name too fast for me to understand. Perhaps meeting each other would save her life. Maybe it would cause her to want to travel to an English-speaking country.I don't think it was for me... it felt like the meeting was for her.

I don't know why we met - and it doesn't matter at all. I'm just glad we did.

Somewhere dreaming of dreaming,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong: SMOOTH

Who Can It Be Now?

Wasn't that exciting? Two whole blogs and we still haven't finished the day. The day in question being Saturday, June 22, 1991.
I have apparently convinced Junko, my sexual plaything (and me, hers) for the week, that I am not in love with her and that she need not quit university and studying to be a teacher by convincing her that besides loving her (it was lust, not love) that I also enjoyed the company of men (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) which I don't in that nudge-nudge-wink-wink way, playing on the Japanese national addiction of fear of AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome).
I hated to do it - because it really is stupid or naive to assume that all homosexuals have AIDS. Straight men - and women can get it too... but you already know all of that. This was 1991 - and even then, I had about 10 years knowing the ins and outs of HiV and AIDS. But for 1991, it was a new sort of animal in Japan.
They know it exists, but assume it's not afflicting Japan and the Japanese. It's a gaijin (foreigner) thing. Meanwhile, there are sex tours from Japan to Bangkok, Thailand catering to the sexual depravity of men - called sex tours. Gaijin might go on these 'tours', but you can bet your bottom dollar that a lot of Japanese men have a yen for that sort of thing. Condoms? We can only hope. But not everyone, I'm sure.
Regardless of that stuff... here's what's going on.
I'm at Tokyo Disneyland. I'm there with fellow JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme assistant English teachers: Susan St. Cyr, David (I though I knew his last name once) and my ex-girlfriend Ashley Benning. An angry Junko has just left me behind a men's room in the appropriately named Fantasyland area. And it certainly was a fantasy cum nightmare for me.
Junko was hot. In looks and in "to trot". We had a very enjoyable week together - having known each other since Monday. But... she was stalking me.
We both knew going into our sexual liaison, that our trysts were going to be Monday through Friday morning at the most - as she had to go back to university on Monday, and I was going away for the weekend with my ex, Ashley.
I know I should have blown off Ashley et al for another few days of crazy sexual misadventures, but I was confused. I still had a thing for her, and was trying to get sex without having to be her boyfriend. I figured, once I had that, I could get the relationship thing back in gear.
I blew a very good thing with Junko, I thought... until she went a little crazy in love for me. I'm nice and a great catch and all that crap... but not that great a catch to warrant someone wanting to drop out of school for--especially after only five days of knowing me!
So.. Junko left in a huff.
And, right on cue, just when they aren't needed, the cavalry arrived in the form of Ashley, David and Susan. Trumpeting that they had found some Aspirin for the headache caused by the Alice (in Wonderland) Teacup ride, I gladly accepted their aid and hung around them like they were my best friends ever - they weren't - in case Junko came back all Anthony Perkins on me - that's a Psycho reference.
After sitting beside Ashley on the rest of the rides, we had fun on: It's A Small World, Pirates of the Caribbean, Thunder Mountain (my second ever roller coaster!), Haunted Mansion, and another trip down Space Mountain (my third ever roller coaster ride).
I will not ever go near Alice's TeaCups again. It nearly killed me. And then Junko nearly finished the job!
Ashley buys a pair of Minnie Mouse ears and looks really cute in them, while I buy a Captain's pirate hat. Everyone likes it - but the Japanese are all laughing at the stupid gaijin (me) for wearing it... but it's okay... I'm laughing at them for wearing clashing plaid shirts and pants - and sometimes shoes and socks!
Everyone there had a great time... but still... I was stealthily looking around for Junko... fully expecting her to jump out at me from behind a tombstone in the Haunted Mansion, or from behind a dwarf in the Swiss Alps of Small World, or from out of a keg of grog in Pirates of the Caribbean.
I looked and looked and looked. But nary a long shiny black hair of Junko did I see. There were plenty of women with shiny black hair of course - I mean, this is Japan!
Despite my paranoia regarding Junko - the whole thing about being wanted by such a beautiful woman made me horny. And here I was with Ashley having a good time, and she with me.
The gang pretty much did what I wanted to do - I was the biggest kid of the bunch, what with me being the old man there at 26 years of age. I wasn't a prick about it - they just seemed to enjoy my enthusiasm - and besides, I did ask if there was anywhere they wanted to go. Hmmm. Perhaps they were doing this to cheer me up?
After a fun day (less Junko), Ashley and I traveled home via Shinkansen (bullet train) and then by JR Rail (Japan Rail - the local line). Ashley fell asleep on the Shinkansen, and when she awoke, her neck was stiff. She asked me for a massage.
Oh, I am so In Like Flint!
I can tell she missed those! A lot. I rode back to her place and then back to my own. She gave me a quick peck on the side of my cheek, which made the rainy ride home very tolerable.
Back home, I stripped off my wet clothes and peeked around the rooms, half expecting Junko to have broken in. 
It's 10PM... and I pass out from exhaustion. And then my pal Matthew calls at 1AM. Bastard.

Somewhere, my place smells like Junko's shampoo,
Andrew Joseph
Today's title is by Men At Work: KNOCKAKNOCK 
PS: I really was expecting Junko to pop out of every dark nook and cranny. She was kind of scary in her determination to land this big Kahuna, but it was also quite flattering as well. But... is this the last we have seen of Junko? Will Andrew get Ashley? What the hell is wrong with Matthew for calling me at 1AM? And who am I going to sleep with next? Let's find out over the next few blogs.
PPS: You'll notice I haven't posted any pictures of Junko. I don't have any. We were always too busy for photography: nudge-nudge-wink-wink.
PPPS: There's another blog in 8 hours from the time this blog hits the airwaves. It's about Japan and the dual disasters of earthquakes and tsunami. 

Every Breath You Take

I'm being stalked.
It's still Saturday, June 22, 1991.
I'm in Tokyo Disneyland with my ex-girlfriend.... now you might think it's her that's stalking me - but aside from her being an ex-girlfriend who was afraid of a man who actually paid attention to her and wanted to be around her, Ashley was pretty normal.... except... now that I think of it (in 2011)... what the hell?! Ashley was always at my apartment in Ohtawara-shi (City of Ohtawara) in Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture) in Japan. If she thought I was crowding her - stay the heck away from me! Her place was so tiny and cold and had uncomfortable furnishings, that I didn't spend more than a three nights at her place in all of the time I knew her (nearly 11 months as of this blog entry).
Okay... enough about that.
Junko was stalking me.
Junko is a 21, 5'-4", slender Japanese woman with a nice set of sweater puppets. She's curvy. She's smart. Speaks English like a native. She like me... a lot.
Two days ago - well, actually Friday morning, I said good bye to her, as I figured that would be the last time I would ever see her. She had to go back to university, where she was learning how to be a teacher. Want to see how we met? Read THIS. It will save me having to recap everything.
Anyhow... Junko has apparently followed me to Tokyo Disneyland. I'm with Ashley. It's not a date, bur rather a Tochigi-ken JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme gathering with only four people. But I love Disneyland - and I'd rather die than miss out on this.
Unfortunately, with Junko stalking me... I don't think it's me who's going to die - but Ashley.
Junko has just surprised me as I exited a men's washroom. Ashley, Susan St. Cyr and David (can't remember his last name!) have gone to the nurse's station to get some Aspirin or something for me after I nearly blew my brains out on the very dangerous theme park ride: Alice's Tea Cup ride. I'm such a wimp for a guy who has developed a reputation as a male slut amounts the Tochigi JETs.
Oh... I didn't mention that until I arrived in Japan last July/August - I was a 25 year-old virgin. I think I'm up to six different women in 11 months - and this is despite having a girlfriend for that length of time...
Don't worry... I'm not a total creep. Whenever Ashley broke up with me - someone magically came along. I haven't had to ask anyone out yet! This is so unlike what life in Toronto was like for me prior to coming to Japan. Back home I could have exploded in ball of flame and not one female would have noticed.
Regardless... to know more about what happened earlier today, read about it HERE, and then come back for more.
"So... Junko... why are you here - right now - in Disneyland? You know I asked you not to come. You know I'm with Ashley today. You know you are supposed to go back to university tomorrow. You know we may never see each other again."
"Yes, I know," she smiles that smile that makes an average-sized part of me twitch.
"So, what the heck are you doing here?"
"Andrew - I love you as much as you love me," she began.
(I have to admit I must have blacked out from shock and fear. I have only known her since Monday. I like Junko a lot, but I never considered falling in love with her because she was only going to be around Ohtawara for the week. I never intended to sleep with her. I originally thought we'd just go out, have some fun and maybe at the end of it all I'd get a kiss.)
She continues in her perfect English (I think it's better than my own): "I thought you would be happy to see me? Aren't you happy to see me?"
(Truthfully, I was terrified. I wanted to have sex with her right now, right here, and maybe over there, and probably over there, too. Times two. But, she is here when she's not supposed to be here.)
"Yes, I'm happy to see you Junko... but you know our relationship is doomed because you have to go back to school...," I said hopefully.
"Yes, I, too, thought that. But I love you, Andrew," she purred as she put her arms around my neck and pulled me in and down for a kiss.
Knowing where this was leading, I pulled back.
Junko smiled and continued: "I thought I would drop out of school..."
"What?! No!! What are you - crazy?!"
Apparently 'crazy' was not a word she liked.
"I'm not crazy! I love you! Is that crazy?!"
(Yes... it just might be).
"How can you be in love with me?" I stupidly ask. "Junko... We just met five days ago! We know nothing about each other... and besides..."
(I going to drop the bomb)
"... I don't even know your name!"
"It's Junko. You know that."
(Crap. I really thought she was going to tell me her family name. I have no idea what her family name is. I never expected that she wouldn't understand the question.)
"Look," I tried to continue, "I really like you a lot Junko... it's why I can't let you quit school for me."
(Really... she was going to quit school for me? Man... that's kind of hot.)
"I know we have know each for a short time," says Junko. "But..."
"No buts, Junko. We've known each other for five days. Five short days."
(And then I tried a different attack.)
"I love you too much to allow you to quit school for me."
"I know you love me, Andrew."
(Uh-oh - new attack!)
"Yes, I do love you Junko. With all my heart and soul. Maybe we should get married. Have kids. We can live in Canada...."
"Ohhhh! Yes!
(Fawwwwk!)
(I need a new magic trick! Fast!)
"Well... truthfully... you know that despite being a Canadian, I am of Indian descent," I began untruthfully.
"Yes. I know."
(How does she know this? Oh yeah... my complexion - though that was still a guess... unless she's psychic... sorry, that's a typo - I meant psychotic.)
"Anyhow... you know that in Indian custom, children are part of an arranged marriage..."
"Oh no!" cried Junko. "To who?"
(Aha! Her English wasn't perfect! She should have said 'to whom'! Or was she correct. Crap. I don't know!)
"I will go and talk with her family!"
(Okay... I really thought that was going to work. Where the hell are Susan, David and Ashley? I could use their help - and some Aspirin, as my headache is getting worse. I could also use their help to either get Junko away from me, or to go and get me a box of condoms!)
(New tactic!)
"Junko! I don't love you! We've spent five days together and one painful 10 minute conversation today! You are smothering me!"
(Geezus... did I just say that? That's what Ashley said I was doing to her and why she broke up with me... but I wasn't like Junko. No way in hell.)
"Junko. I really like you, but there is no future for us. You need to go back to school or check into a hospital - whatever the authorities think is best - but you need to do it now! We can't be together."
"Yes, we can."
(God help me, here's my last trick)
"Okay... but you have to be able to share me..."
"With other women? Hmmm... okay."
(Crap! I never thought she'd share me with another woman... but what if...)
"No... I meant another man... or men," I said.
(It's all a lie folks. I only like women. Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
"You like men?"
"Yeth. I laaaa-ve them!" I screeched in a very effeminate gay man's voice (also known as a flamer) (not that there's anything wrong with that).
"You are homo-sexual?" she asked making it sound like two separate words.
(Holy crap... that look on her face - it was disgust. I think it's working!)
I had to nod, as I was afraid I was going to laugh at this girl's face! After what we did to each other sexually... and she was willing to have a three-way with another woman - she hated homosexual men? Wow-o-wow. I never would have believed it. She seemed so normal.
No waitaminute! I just re-read this blog entry. She's freaking nuts!
"Yeth," I lisped 'yes' again.
She pushed me back. Wiped her lips with the back of her mouth and stormed off without even a look back at me.
I never saw Junko again. Unless she was spying on me - in which case, she may have seen me plenty of times.
She was hot, great in bed or wherever we chose to have sex, spoke (near) perfect English, looked like she could be a lingerie model, was smart, considerate of me, and loved me. But she was possessive. And nuts. I could handle possessive... I just don't care for nuts all that much.

Somewhere tolerant - hey! she would have had a threesome with me and another woman! Aw crap!!!
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by The Police... which is what I was going to need if she continued to stalk me. Have you ever really listened to the lyrics of this song... It's not really beautiful. It's CREEPY!
PS: Twenty years later... it seems like Junko may have had a chemical imbalance or some other mental illness. I know quite a few people who suffer from mental illness (not me, believe it or not), and I can tell you it's no laughing matter. If I knew then how to do it  - or even if I knew about mental illness then - I would have tried to get Junko some help. Of course... she may just have been really into me. That could happen, right?
PPS: Three-way? Why did I break up with her? Now that's nuts! Seriously... I didn't know what else to say or do. I was actually a bit afraid of Junko when I saw that she had followed me to Disneyland. It was cute for a second - but mostly scary. While I am not gay, I do have a few gay and lesbian friends.I played on the 1990s Japanese fear of AIDS... they all felt at that time that it was a disease for foreigners - not Japanese. That's what many Japanese people have told me.
PPPS: Another blog will appear eight (8) hours after this one is published. It's about Coca-Cola and Pepsi.

Hello

It's Saturday, June 22, 1991.
I'm in Utsunomiya-shi (City of Utsonomiya), the capital of Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture) with my ex-girlfriend Ashley of Augusta, Georgia. We're staying at Susan St. Cyr's place in anticipation of a trip to Tokyo Disneyland today.
Back in Ohtawara-shi (Ohtawara City) where I've been living since August of 1990, I left behind my girlfriend of the week - Junko - whose last name I don't know. We met at Ohtawara Chu Gakko (Ohtawara Junior High School), one of the seven junior high schools I teach at in Ohtawara-shi. Junko was just there for the week, as she's a university student studying to be a teacher. She's 21, sexy, Japanese and so very much in lust or love with me.
I'm in lust with her - but she has to go back to school on Monday - wherever the heck that is. If she told me, I don't remember.
She begged me to come to Disneyland with me - but I said no. I didn't want to cause any problems between her, myself and Ashley, as I was still trying to get sex from my ex... not get back together as boyfriend and girlfriend.
I have NO idea why. Junko and I did the wild thing so many times between meeting on Monday and the last time on I saw her on Thursday, that would impress a porn star or a hooker.
So why would I want Ashley?
I'm going to keep asking myself that question for a few blogs more, if you all don't mind.
It's raining today - why? Because I'm traveling in Japan. I am already known as Ame Otoko (Rain Man) by the Japanese. Ye-ahhh, definitely going to rain. Definitely rain. Rain. Rain.
I was drunk the night before and in a piss-poor moody toward pretty much all women - still, I drag myself up at 9AMm and we're all out the door at 10AM.
We get on a Shinkansen (bullet train) and travel to Ueno-eki (Ueno station) in Tokyo. We then take a bus to Disneyland.
All the time on the bus, David (another AET = assistant English teacher) and Susan are asking Ashley and I if we really want to go - either because they know we are angry at each other or because they don't want to go either. But... I'm saying "yes". So's Ashley.
Susan and David sit beside each other - leaving Ashely with me. We begin to chat and then start goofing around - like friends.
At Disneyland we get in line to go on Space Mountain. Since it's raining, the line up is only 55 minutes long. That's sarcasm.
Everyone Japanese seems to be wearing plaid. It's funny  - and we all start making plaid jokes - none of which I remember. Sorry. I guess you had to be there.

I don't know about you, but I have never been on a roller coaster before - which is what Space Mountain is. Still - since everyone else wants to - I have to pretend to be brave.  
And you know what? It was great! Trying to act brave around a woman seemed to actually make me brave! I want to go again.
David, however... it wipes him out and needs to take a break. Wimp.
Susan, Ashley and I head for Alice's Tea Cup ride (from Alice In Wonderland - my favourite book!). You sit in a giant teacup and the cup and the other seven teacups (a platter) all spin round and around... and then I discovered that if you spin the wheel in the middle of the teacup, your teacup will do revolutions independent of the whole spinning platter of cups.
Being a devious bastard, I spin it hard and fast in an effort to make the women tipsy. So Ashley will be forced to use me as a crutch.
I spun it so hard and fast that I was sure they were going to be falling all over the place when we got out. Unfortunately, I did it too much  so that it felt like my brain flipped upside down in my skull.
When it stopped... I crawled out. Literally on my hands and knees. Everyone thought the big dumb Andrew was faking because he's a joker.
Nope.
My head pounded like it was being hit by a brick and I felt like throwing up. It was worse because I had already eaten two large hot dogs and had a large Coke  - so I had plenty of ammunition in my gut!
Yeah. David's the wimp. I was taken out by Alice in Wonderland's Tea Cup ride. How freaking embarrassing.
While Ashley, Susan and David run off to the nurse's station to get me some help - yes I was that bad - I decide I need to go to the washroom.
I walk around for five minutes and find a men's room - go in, pee, and walk out and...
I am jumped on by Junko!
She has her arms around my neck and her legs wrapped around my waist and is trusting her tongue deep into my mouth.
At first I don't know who the hell is kissing me, but it doesn't stop me from trying to grab her butt. I don't stop kissing either.
Any port in a storm... and it is raining.
I open my eyes and try to focus in on the woman sucking on my tonsils... okay... it is Junko.
I'm not delirious am I? Did Alice's Tea Cup ride push me down the rabbit hole? What is it that the Doormouse said?
"Junko?! What the hell are you doing here?!" I cried in happiness and shock and perhaps a bit from being queasy.
"Hello Andrew! I missed you my one true love," she said.
Uh-oh. I missed her too, but I didn't stalk her. What the hell is she doing in Tokyo Disneyland? And did she just call me her 'one true love'?
I've got to get out of here.
Cripes! Ashley! She'll be back soon and will probably be wondering why I have a Japanese woman stuck to my groin!
Junko is scaring the crap out of me.
But... being a horny guy, I'm obviously excited to see her, if you know what I mean.
To foil that part of my brain... I start to question Junko... but not here in front of the men's room!
I hold onto her butt and start to move with her...
"Are we going in the men's washroom Andrew lover?"
Who taught her to talk like this?!
That person was a very good teacher - but dammit this is bad timing.
I do, however, consider taking her into the men's washroom and having sex with her - after all... Donald Duck is my hero because he doesn't wear pants! But no... there's a lot of pee on the floor.
Men's rooms look, feel and smell like men's rooms all over the world. Pee on the floor. Apparently man DID evolve from the ape!
Instead, I walk her to the back of the building containing the men's room and push her back up against the brick wall. She's excited because she thinks we're going to do it in public - but I'm just not that well at the moment... and I need to put her down. With a tranquilizer if possible... but on the ground to give my arms and back a break.
I ask her if she has been following me?
She says "No!"
But then she added that "the place you stayed in last night was very small." And then she asked "Who is that woman you stayed with last night?"
Holy crap! She is stalking me!
Fatal Attraction! Here in Disneyland. Oh my gawd! She's going to kill Ashley! Who fried Roger Rabbit?* (see the PS for this joke).

Somewhere my shoes smell like pee,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by Lionel Ritchie. Have you ever listened to the LYRICS? Ugh!
PS: In the movie Fatal Attraction, the stalker boils a pet rabbit. I'm in Disneyland - the animated flick Who Framed Roger Rabbit is a Disney movie... I made a pun of the Roger Rabbit title. Very funny, indeed.
PPS: Oh, Junko. Please don't kill anybody. My life is never going to be free of insane women, is it? I'm not secretly seeking them out, am I? Oh well... it beats being dull and not having anything to write about in this blog! Tune in tomorrow when I continue the adventure.

Lucky Man

Despite the euphoria of having just slept with a gorgeous 21-year-oldJapanese university student, I'm cranky today - Tuesday, June 18, 1991.
It might be a lack of sleep - a thought that makes me smile because of why I had no sleep.
This morning, Junko sees me and coyly smiles at me in the teacher'soffice of Ohtawara Chu Gakko (Ohtawara Junior High School - also knownas Dai Chu) here in Ohtawara-shi (Ohtawara City), Tochigi-ken (TochigiPreferecture/State/Province) in Japan.
She repeatedly gives me the eye,and once licked her lips at me. Holy smokes! This woman is a tiger! Shedoesn't say too much to me today - a fact that makes a couple of theteachers pay even closer attention to me.
They know something happened between us last night.
They also know it was nothing bad, as she keeps looking at me (andobviously I'm looking at her to have noticed her looking at me).
The teachers - first all of the women - look at Junko, then stare atme. They then go into a huddle and seem to have confirmed that yes, Idid sleep with the university student. They seem concerned that perhapsI will attack the other two female university students doing an internshiphere at this school.
I might. But, it's not often I make the first move... I'm only aggressive after I'm sure I'm not going to be rebuffed.
The men... they just kind of figured out that I probably already sleptwith Junko, and while glad for me, probably hated my guts.
Now... here's an embarrassing thing that I'm truly not very proud off.
I know.. you've read a lot of things in these blogs that I should beashamed of, but this one is up there. Yes, it's worse than trying todeflower the university student. I tried. But someone beat me to it.
Anyhow... the students are all asses today. It's like they too hate me for sleeping with the sexy Junko.
In order to silence one of the 2nd-year students (grade 9's/14-year-olds)--a fatand obnoxious brat--I actually put him in a headlock and squeezed himuntil he changed color.
I'm going to guess this was a bad thing. And probably not something Ishould be admitting (though I did tell a few of my fellow gaijin(foreigners) about it later).
I did it after I repeatedly warned him that flipping the middle finger at an American of Canadian could get him into a fight.
Anyhow... I don't know how long I held him in that headlock... itseemed like a while. It wasn't really a choke hold, as I did squeezehim around the forehead.
What am I doing? I'm a lover, not a fighter! Just ask Junko!
Later on, I offered to shake the kid's hand in apology... but he saidhe wanted to fight some more. This he said in English! I could havecried in happiness!
But, after repeatedly sticking my hand out, he relented and went to grab it... in a judo throw.
Bugger! He didn't toss me, however, as I do know judo. He should haveknown that too, if he had remembered my self-introduction a few monthsback. Instead, I just held and squeezed his hand until he went down onhis knees.
He won't do that again (and truthfully - he didn't. He and I, while never best of friends, were friends after that!).
Obviously, I'm hyper now. So I go out to the front of the school andstare at the pond that is home to countless frogs. Despite beingcountless, I attempt to count them anyway. I get up to 47 beforebecoming bored, and instead wonder why the pond water is rust-coloured.
At lunch, my boss from the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education), Mr.Hanazaki, says he is coming over. I panic for 10 minutes until hearrives - fearing that it just might be wrong to fight a student!Instead, he has me sign my contract for next year, and tells me Ishould take it with me when I go down to the (work) Visa office inTokyo to essentially be allowed to stay in Japan another year.
He walks me around the school pointing out that his father was theprincipal at Dai Chu 15 years ago. He shows me his dad's photo. Youwon't believe this, but the man was smiling in the picture! The exactsame smile my boss has on his face every time I see him! Awesome!
Hanazaki-san (Mister Hanazaki... san also means Miss or Ms.) asks me if I had a nice time with Junko last night. How the hell did he know that?
I smile a crooked smile, raise my right eyebrow and say: "Hai!" (Yes!)He slaps me on the back and asks me about Ashley-sensei (Ashley teacher- my ex). I tell him we broke up. He says "Okay, secret,"  bows andwalks off.
How can he know I've slept with some woman whose last name I don't knowthat I met yesterday - but not know Ashley and I broke up?! I mean,weren't we yelling at each other loudly enough?  
Regardless, after school I arrive back at my apartment to see Ashleysitting on the front steps of the building. She looks pretty good,despite having put on a few pounds these past couple of weeks. She comes in, we chat, watch anepisode of Designing Women on a video tape I have and then walk over to a Chinese restaurantnear the Ashikaga Bank about four minutes away from my place. There'san enkai (a party) for something or another. Whatever. I was invited,and in turn asked Ashley to join me.
Despite being a non-couple, it's still my goal to get her good anddrunk and then... well, do whatever it is you do when you're drunk. Pee, Isuppose.
Matthew is there, and so is French-Canadian Martin and the American Kevin(the last two work for American corporations here in Ohtawara). Takakois there (Matthew's girlfriend), as well as Sugawara-san, and a couple of ladies Irecognize but don't know by name.
The food is not that filling, but the beer and whiskey is. I drink morethan my fair share, as I correctly assume that gaijin drink free. Ashley helps herself to my whiskey.
She and I are pretty chummy - I even let her get in a few good rips atme for old times sake. I dominate the entire conversation because I'm aloudmouth schnook - but no one seems to mind. I  make jokes and mimiceverybody there. I make a total ass of myself - but since we're allhaving a good time and not acting false, no one cares!
At 9PM, the party is over. I know. 9 P.M.! That's when the sidewalks are rolled up in Ohtawara-shi.
Still, the group of us go to a local coffee shop near the Ohtawara BoysHigh School where Ashley teaches. Narita, Brian, Naoko and thebeautiful girl from my evening conversation class--Shoko--are there.Ashley sits beside me. I'm sure Shoko is giving Ashley the evil eye.
We have something called Royal Tea and cheese cake - and I swear, if Ididn't have so much muscle there, it would have gone straight to mythighs. I don't know about anyone else, though.
At 10:30, we leave the shop. Martin drops Ashley and myself off at my apartment and then drives Matthew home.
Ash and I go up to my place take that wonderful pee we've been holdingin for hours and then sit and relax in my place while I make a phonecall to Susan St. Cyr to confirm that Ashley and I do want to go toDisneyland (probably... just not as a couple).
When I talk with Susan, she invites me to stay at her place this Friday night - and when Imention Ashley is coming, she hems for a second before saying Ashleycan stay too.
Cripes. Does everybody love Andrew? Or maybe she just didn't like Ashley.
Even though Ashley didn't ask me to, I rode my bicycle to accompany herback to her place 30 minutes away in Nishinasuno-machi (NishinasunoTown). The ride was nice and relaxed - probably because we were bothhammered.
And, even though we were both drunk - sleeping with her tonight is not part of my plan. Tonight builds trust.
I go into her place for a Coke. I notice my photo is gone and wonder ifshe burned it to exorcise the demons - much like she did the first timewe broke up back in November? Regardless, when I leave at 11:30PM, I geta really long (non-sexy), big hug.
I ride home getting there at about 11:50PM and see Junko leaving my front door.
What the hell. I call to her quietly. She turns, smiles and waits for me to unlock the door.
I still don't have a pair of indoor slippers for her - not that she needs to have anything on.

Somewhere the kami (gods) are smiling this week on,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by Emerson, Lake and Palmer: ELP 
PS: There's another blog eight (8) hours from the time this one is published - about something evil in Japan! 

Black Magic Woman

What was I doing the April 1992 weekend before I met Nobuko? I was seeing someone else! Sort of.
For some reason, Matthew's girlfriend (now wife) wanted me to meet a friend of hers who lived down in Tokyo.
Not having anything better to do than meet a cute Japanese woman, I gleefully accepted.
I woke up early on Saturday, rode my bike to the Nishinasuno train station (Nishinasuno-eki) 20 minutes away, caught the local rail up to the Shinkansen (bullet train) up at Nasu Shiobara-eki and then rode quickly and in luxury down to Tokyo.
About 40 minutes later at a speed of about 250 kilometres an hour, I arrive in Tokyo and was met by Takako.
Takako is a slim, very attractive young lady who had  enough grip on the English language who quickly captured the heart of my best bud in Japan, Matthew Hall. Takako was one smart cookie... she always looked at me like I was a complete idiot, but one she liked. I didn't know she like me enough to try and set me up with one of her friends - but obviously she did.
We went over to meet her friend - I'm unsure exactly what I was expecting, but the girl I met sure as heck wasn't it.
Shinobu (which she told me translated into Ninja girl) was an 18-year-old knock-out! Yeah, I was 28, but we were both adults - so I didn't mind the age difference... especially since you can see what she looks like in the photo above. Guys... would you be upset with a 10-year age difference if the girl looked like that? Sorry... woman.
Shinobu was 5-foot tall. Tiny. An infectious smile. And the biggest boobs I have ever seen on a Japanese woman in my nearly three years there.
I had always joked that my ideal woman was an Oriental redhead with big tits. As I understand it, the term Oriental is no longer considered politically correct - but I didn't care where a person was from... so, in this case, the term Oriental implies any woman with an epicanthic fold for eyes. You can see what that word means HERE.
So... with Shinobu, it was obvious she had two out of three of my ideals... but nothing a bottle of henna couldn't resolve.
What was the drawback? She wasn't necessarily the smartest person in the world, as she knew zero English... but that's cool, I pretty much knew zero Japanese... actually, according to Takako, her Japanese wasn't that great either - but neither is my English.. Regardless, there was a physical attraction for both of us. You can read HERE about why she might have been attracted to me... I said might have been.
Anyhow... Takako, Shinobu and I went for dinner, and then drinks. The bar was super crowded and it was tough to get the attention of the barkeeper -  so... if I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have believed it... Shinobu moved to the bar in her tight jeans and even tighter t-shirt, waited for someone to get off a stool at the bar, sat down and pointedly lifted her boobs up and placed her still shirt-covered mounds on top of the bar.
Flomph!
Instantly, there were three barkeeps (two men and one woman) fighting to serve the still jiggling Shinobu. We got our drinks, and I had another reason to be impressed by this diminutive woman. 
Shinobu and I had decided that we would visit Tokyo Disneyland the next day - and that Takako had some other stuff to do. Truthfully, I think she wanted to give us some alone time.
Unfortunately, that alone time did not extend into the night time, as Takako needed a place to crash for the evening (as did I). Shonobu and I lay together on her single bed, while Takako crashed on a few pillows on the floor below and beside us.
Shinobu continually pressed her backside up against my frontside at night, and even though she was afforded a few hours of sleep, I was not. I was up - in more ways than one - all night long.
That feeling didn't go away in the morning as Shinobu decided to sit on my lap while we ate cereal for breakfast. Somewhere at this point in time, Takako left us... so it was just the two of us - alone - in her apartment... but instead of doing the horizontal mambo, Shinobu wanted to go to Disneyland, and gave me a really nice kiss to make sure she knew we were together.
Still up - some eight hours now, she held my hand smiling at every person she met - saying hello to everyone - it was like she was showing ME off, like look... I have a gaijin (foreigner) boyfriend. Truthfully, I didn't mind. I was just wishing I could meet someone I knew to show off what was on the other end of my hand!
Disneyland... no matter what country you are in, is an expensive venture... but no cost was too great for this 36DD cutie... yes... that was her chest size. Oh... My... Buddha!
I was still up, as she kept backing in to me every five minutes or so, just to check if I was still liking her. She knew what I had going on, and she was determined to keep it going.
The day was a blur, as obviously I had a lack of blood flowing to my brain. Still, we went on rides (she tried to sit on my lap on Magic Mountain - as I grabbed a mountain or two of my own), we saw shows (she tried to sit on my lap while we were standing watching the Country Bear Jamboree, we ate junk food (here I let her sit on my lap, as we shared all the food I bought). But I wasn't complaining... except that it was difficult to walk. It was difficult to sit. It was difficult to concentrate on anything but the swaying of her sweater puppets, as she danced while pulling me this way and that to the next attraction.
Finished at Disneyland, went went to another restaurant, ate cuddled up beside each other, and then I walked her home. Hoping for a little (lotta) relief, she turned jumped up and grabbed me around the neck to help pull herself up around my waist with her legs. Long kiss over, she hopped off and said in a sing-song voice, 'bai-bai'. She opened the door to her place and walked inside, closing it behind her.
What the heck? Now what was I going to do?
Let's just say the next two hours it took to get home were very painful. Why?
Have you ever read the back of a VIAGARA package? Essentially it says that should you have an erection for over four hours (??!!) you should contact your doctor. If I had know that, I would have, but Viagara hadn't been invented yet!
When I got home it was 22 hours with company. The whole trip home I could smell her all over me. It was intoxicating. Have you ever ridden a bicycle with an erection? Let me tell you, it's not very comfortable.
All I knew was that when I got home, it was onani time (see HERE). I nearly hit myself in the head.

Somewhere, the player got played (and didn't mind one bit),
Andrew Joseph
PS: In the photo above, Shinobu poses with the author, who appears to have taken his shirt off revealing his hairy chest - or it's Br'er Bear. I still can't tell.
PPS: The next day I met Nobuko, and never saw or talked to Shinobu again. Shows you what I thought of Nobuko, eh? You can re-read that TALE. 
PPPS: Today's song/title is by Santana because of Shinobu's bewitching of me. For the weekend. CLOSEYOUREYESANDLISTEN.