Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

You might be wondering when things are going to get a bit exciting. Well... it's not today. Sorry.
I'm going to combine two day's into this one blog - but get ready... things will start to get a bit heated, as I plan, plot, play and plumb the depths to get what I want - which is laid again.
For those of you who are new to the site, it's currently June 14, 1991. I'm an assistant English teacher on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme living in Ohtawara-shi (Ohtawara City), Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture) here in Japan. I teach at seven junior high schools - one per week - for four days, and spend a fifth day in the offices of the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education) writing up a report that takes me 10 minutes to do and then spend a few hours writing short stories and letters to family and friends back home in Toronto. The rest of the time is spent figuring out how I'm going to get laid - or occasionally studying Japanese or going on mini excursions with my friends at the OBOE. Sometimes after work, we have parties (IE booze fests, where the Japanese constantly test the upper limits of a gaijin's (foreigner's) alcoholic intake - which I have yet to peak at. And that is a scary thought.
I've certainly been laid since arriving in Japan. Not prior to it, unfortunately.
I'm currently 26 years old and have been in Japan for nearly a year. I met my girlfriend Ashley of Augusta, Georgia, USA, on my third night in Japan in Tokyo. I met Kristine - a Japanese-American babe on the second night - and while we have not slept together as of this writing (1991), she is never far from my thoughts.
Ashley took my virginity - and while I lasted a good 45 minutes (I timed myself!), my seeming expertise made her think I was lying about being a virgin. What guy would ever lie about something like that??!! I can talk about it to you all now because well, quite frankly I'm doing alright. I've only had four women, but the future is the future - I can always get more. I suppose you could say I have an appetite for destruction.  
I've had a good time in Japan, however there is only thing spoiling my fun - and that it is the frustration I often felt from having a girlfriend who continually broke up with me and then got back to me as easily as changing one's dirty underwear. I was that dirty underwear... and after each break up I'd swear I'd never get back to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune... It's like... I hate you, but since there's no one else available, lets get back together. She may never have thought that, but I did.
Prior to now, I had only gone three days without having a girlfriend or a girl friend for the evening. Hey... I'm not Charlie Sheen, but for some reason, I've been doing okay here in this Japanese Disneyland.... and I have no idea why. Perhaps it's because no one knows me here, and I can be anyone I want to be. In this case, I've chosen to be more self-confident. I think.
Actually, since arriving in Japan - and wanting a girlfriend - I knew that darn near every guy was going to start chasing Japanese tail. It's a fringe benefit of arriving in the country - and I think as a hetero guy, it's something you are expected to do.
Well... I didn't do that. I figured - correctly - that with all the guys chasing the Japanese women, there might be an opportunity for a guy to set himself up with all of the foreign women (non-Japanese) in Japan.
Most foreign women did not want to date a sexist Japanese man (that is a viewpoint more correct than not) - so they could either go cold turkey (or whatever they call a dildo), or there was me... the only guy not chasing Japanese women.
Part of my reasoning was that there would be a comfort level in dating someone who could speak English.
Ashley was chosen because she chose me, and happened to live a mere 20 minute bicycle ride away. Convenience, I suppose. It was easier than having to learn a whole new language. Though I did have to learn woman-speak. "Fine" does not mean "okay". That's all you need to know.
Regular readers will already know that while I still preferred convenience, I did also try the local cuisine, if you know what I mean - and I think you do.
The second woman I slept with was a Japanese physical education teacher at one of my schools. It was a one or two-time deal, but it made for a charged atmosphere whenever I visited that school. You could smell the sex in the air.
There you have it...  a re-cap of what's been going on in this blog for some 385+ entries. Oh yeah... I also have adventures about town. Do stupid things, observe stupid things and learn that the Japanese are every bit as normal - or whacked out as I am.... perhaps just a tad more polite.

Again... It's June 14, 1991.
Friday.
It's an office day at the OBOE. I send off a few packages - like a video to Kristine; one to Melissa; and a book to Tim. Since Kristine was the one I really adored - she got the better video from me - it was just a bunch of television shows my family had sent to me so that I wouldn't turn completely Japanese from not understanding Japanese television.
I write a few letters and stories and head home at 5PM.
I try to clean up my apartment - unsuccessfully. Which is bizarre. I have a three-bedroom L-D-K, with two balconies... I had a girlfriend (Ashley) up until two Saturday's ago... but really, aside from Matthew, a couple of workers installing my air-conditioner, my boss, a friend's dad to act as translator, the superintendent, and a few hundred spiders on my north balcony - no one has come over.
What have I been doing with my time? I think I've been spacing out.
This evening, I play a few video games, drink a 2-litre bottle of Coke, eat a block of cheese and then fart a lot.
Truly a boring day. 
I miss Ashley.

It's Saturday, June 15, 1991.
I'm up at 8:30AM. I'm exhausted for doing all of that nothing - but perhaps more from not doing anything. I'm still farting from all of that cheese, though.
I get up and do some laundry. It's what I do when I'm depressed. Ironing, too. That's when I'm really down. The farting I can do when I'm depressed or happy. It does make me a bit happier, though.
Matthew comes over and we head down to the capital of Tochigi-ken, Utsunomiya-shi (Utsunomiya City), and go to the new Robinson's department store and then see the movies: My Blue Heaven and Presumed Innocent. The first was so-so, the latter, very good.
Oh... when I left my apartment in Ohtawara with Matthew, we rode to Nishinasuno-eki (Nishinasuno train station), where I happened to part right beside my ex - Ashley's bike.
In my head, I planned to steal her good luck traffic charm from her bike when I got back - I would have done it then, but our train was arriving and we had to really run to catch it!
Anyhow... Matthew and I check out the stores. I buy three CDs, a couple of books and I almost bought a Nintendo Super Famicon video game system. Almost. It would have been an upgrade on my Sega Gamegear hand-held device.
We eat dinner - hop on the train home - but unfortunately, Ashley has beaten us home - she's long gone. She must have noticed my over-sized novelty bicycle parked on top of hers (just like old times - nudge-nudge, wink-wink).
Matthew and I head to the video store - he rents Commando, I rent Total Recall and go our separate ways back in Ohtawara.
I chat on the phone with Kristine a bit and then watch the movie, clean-up - this time for sure, and pass out at 1AM.
It's getting easier to sleep now that I'm over Ashley.

Somewhere wondering who stole MY bicycle good luck charm - ASHLEY!!
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by Paul Anka: HARD
PS: Tomorrow and onward, things start to heat up for your old pal Andrew - or, he's going crazy from the heat.
PPS: Plus there will be another blog entry - eight hours from the publication of this one - discussing the injection of Nitrogen into the nuclear reactor core in Fukushima-ken's Dai-ichi facility. It's full of learny stuff that make ya real smart, yup.
PPPS: I made up the word learny - it's a variation of the word 'learned' pronounced 'lur-ned'.

Love Rollercoaster

Because the next two days are kind of dull like my mood, I'm going to combine them. I only include them because I'm setting the mood - as the next couple of months will soon become quite frenetic.

Thursday, June 6, 1991.
At Kaneda Minami Chu Gakko (Kaneda South Junior High School) I only have classes in the 3rd, 4th and 5th period (there are only 5 periods at this school) -  all of which I have to teach by myself as the English teacher Mrs. Yamamoto has to coach a softball tournament.
Before they leave, the girls are out practicing on the field outside, so I go out to watch.
These kids are fantastic! So's the coach. Strong and forceful, but cajoling. An excellent coach.
These girls play better than any of the teams I played on as an adult in my early 20s!
Wishing them good luck, I head back in to prepare for my three classes.
In each of the classes, I show them the first half of the movie Back To The Future - and show the last half after school to 12 very interested - but nerdy - boys. The rest had their own club activities to attend - but 12 is more than I expected, to tell the truth.
When I go home afterward, I call up Rory - Kristine's friend in Tokyo - introduce myself (as a friend of Kristine) and mention that Kristine thought he and I would get along. I then related my girl situation. Rory had no qualms about having me come for a visit to show me around the city to help me get out of my funk (and hopefully my pants! with some lucky woman or three).
It's Thursday. My ex-girlfriend Ashley and I apparently broke up on Monday - even though I'm sure I broke up with her on Saturday. I only mention this because this is the longest I have gone in Japan without having a woman around as my girlfriend or girlfriend as a one-night plaything. That's what Japan was like for me. I spent nearly 26 years being ignored by women back in Toronto, but here in Japan - the whole country was like my own private Plato's Retreat. My own private Disneyland where I don't care how tall you are to ride my roller coaster. 
After talking to Rory, I call up Kristine for a 30-minute sexually-charged one-handed conversation. Just so you all are aware... 20 years later Kristine has no knowledge of these sexually charged conversations, but I still have the right forearm muscles to prove it.
Sated, I call up Tim and Mari Ann before Matthew comes over with his new girlfriend (but mutual friend) Takako. She looks awesome. Matthew's one lucky dog.
I go to bed, but not to sleep. That's Day five, if any one is counting.

Friday June 7, 1991.
Today is an office day where I go to the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education) office and write up a few reports for them, write letters and essentially get paid for the day while goofing off.
Kanemaru-san and Hanzaki-san - my two bosses responsible for me while I am in Japan tell me that I'll be getting an air-conditioner in my apartment next Wednesday. Apparently my sweating fish story worked (HOTFISH)!
From the office, I call up the effervescent Melissa - a very sexy blond I really liked but was unable to do anything about while shackled to Ashley since my third day in Japan - and tell her about my situation. Apparently she already knows.
I'm guessing some sort of warning went out to all of the female AETs (assistant English teachers) working in Tochigi-ken on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme to let them know that I was on the prowl. As such - I ain't getting any from her, as she seems to have sided with Ashley on this one. That's just my opinion - she never said anything to indicate that, though.
At home, I decide not to go out to the bars, and instead stay home and further depress myself. Heavily. With booze. I call up a few people: Dan, Matthew, Melissa (again - but she's still not biting, if you know what I mean) and Ashley. We chat for less than a minute. It's not pretty.
And, just to let you know what I was thinking - and have never mentioned this to a single person before - I thought about going up to the roof of my seven-story apartment building and ending it on the pavement below. Stupid. The thought was there long enough to remember it, but short enough to realize I would never do something to hurt myself - especially over a woman. Stupid.
Still, I decide not to even bother going to bed and stay up all night long pacing in my three-bedroom apartment going over the past in my head. I'm just making myself further upset. Stupid.

Somewhere on the prowl,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is ridden by the Ohio Players: TWOTICKETS. There's also a cool version done 20 years later by the Red Hot Chili Peppers: FOURTICKETS (the cost of inflation), but it's well worth the money to have a listen.
PS: The roller coaster goes up and down and side to side - much like the way I was feeling these two days - but you already knew that, didn't you?

Jealous Guy

Wednesday, October 31, 1990.

Up at 6:30AM, I get a ride to Sakuyama Junior High School from the math teacher who can’t speak any English and doesn’t say very much in Japanese (much to my relief).
I have three classes of English in a row, and do some pretty darn effective use of the text while team-teaching.
I have lunch with a first-year class (Grade 7), get punched in the nuts by one of them (but for some reason it didn’t hurt), and punch him back in the upper arm (I'm sure that one hurt). I head home at 5PM with the same silent teacher.
Ashley arrives at 5:30PM, with Kanemaru-san arriving a few minutes later to take us both to kyu-do (Japanese archery) practice at the local Ohtawara Kyudo Club. We’ve been going for about four weeks now, but after getting hurt in my two bike versus car accidents, my ribs hurt.
At the club, I get ticked off because I’m still shooting at a practice target, while Ashley has improved enough to shoot at the real target from the proper 60-foot distance. My ribs are killing me everytime I pull on the bow, and the pain interferes with my concentration – which like most things Japanese, is 80 per cent of the ability to do anything.
While at the club, Ashley asks me to go to an enkai (party) with her this very night. But I’m still pretty steamed at her/me for kyu-do, but mostly I’m angry because she and Matthew were invited to this party, but I was not. Age makes me forget what that party was for or where it was… just know I was angry (probably the Ohtawara Friendship Association). It didn’t matter that Ashley invited me (in hindsight, a very nice thing to have done), but it didn’t change the fact that the party-throwers didn’t invite me. Man… it’s like high school all over again. I hated my friggin’ teenaged years with a vengeance (it’s making me angry having to think about it right now). It's making me hate Japan.
So… I don’t go. I go home and make some chili for tomorrow and make myself a double bacon burger for dinner. There's nothing on TV but I watch it anyway.
Melissa (see HERE) calls me up and asks me to relieve her boredom. What I wouldn’t have given to really do that, but instead we talk and I get that long distance feeling to reach out, reach out and touch yourself. Still, it’s nice that at least someone thinks I can entertain her.
Somewhere, boring me is in bed by midnight,
Andrew Joseph